I have just been informed that Swablu has perished.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say…
Dragon Breath was definitely not a rocket launcher.
Also Staravia is going to become an edgelord now having lost his favorite roommate and lover.
See this? This is Sasuke in bird form.
That version of cloud bird doesn’t have dragon breath. The evolved version gets it eventually somehow
B- I.
What does that even mean?
Are we talking Budew/Roselia bill, or bill me bill?
Bebe is this game’s Version of bill (the dude who runs the pokemon PC’s and hands out eevees). The online guides said she would give me an eevee for doing something but she never did.
I’ll need to look at my cart at some point to do a full recount of those last few hours cause holy ■■■■ was I drunk. The good news is we beat the fighting gym and I think wrapped up… something else with team galactic, but I’d have to see to get the fill progress.
So far our only casualty is @Benedict_87 's DirtybirdII who died in a fighting gym either because I let something get too buffed up before I sent him in, or because I wasn’t liberal enough with the super soaker (I can’t remember which, but it was definitely a training error).
This actually sucks because swablu’s evolved form gains the ■■■■■■■ dragon type, but is very late in its training cycle (like somewhere in it’s 40s IIRC). It had dragon’s breath at the time of death, but wing attack was doing more damage because of stab.
@MickityMike I explain the nuzlocke rules above, but the TLDR is that a nuzlocke is when you play pokemon as permadeath. You should b happy to be a level 4 zubat, kept far from the heat of battle.
I’ll do a deep dive on the likely stupid route that I did once I look at my cart again later this week - I probably wont touch it again until the niece goes back because nintendo gets weird about accounts.
Dirtybird can never die.
Only the actors who play him.
o- oooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
So none of the above. I pulled a Carly Simon.
Bruh, it’s like you don’t even know me! I BELONG IN THE HEAT OF TEH BATTLEZ.
Late reply, but a shellos gave me some serious trouble in my normal run of pokemon platinum. If that makes you feel any better lol
I still would prefer a cat with a ‘turn invisible and strike’-attack, but I appreciate the effort 
Ok. I’m full of turkey and was looking through my game file and some of my chats of the time in question, so to give a full update as to what went down a few nights ago-
This post is where sanity started to frey a little bit. I can lay down pretty much what happened though.
I got to the city and the Gym leader (Fantina, the Ghost Leader) was standing in front of her gym, basically saying that all my pokemon were fugly but if I got them to win a contest or something she might face me. This involved a whole sidequest ful of pokemon ■■■■■■■■ that I don’t remember of the nuzlocke I’ve already watched of this version (which was on Platinum, not Pearl/Diamond, which apparently is ■■■■■■ important for some reason).
So my drunk ass stopped playing for a bit… and then couldnt sleep so I started up again and kept drinking.
I went to go get the poffin case.
I went to the goddamn contest house. I sucked ass at mingames for a solid 30 mins attempting to do 3 of these, and finally won and…
Bitch just ■■■■■■■ disappeared. I’m sure it has something to do with the stupid story, but I could now enter her Gym but she was absolutely no where to be found.
This infuriated me, and given that the game’s railroading system was leading north, I went ■■■■■■■ north in a pissed off mood, and boy, did @Hattie and @billthebetta make every ■■■■■■■■■■■■ between Hearthholme and Veilstone pay for it. For some reason everything on the route was using rock pokemon and the two legit murdered everything even with my drunk ass at the helm. Bill at one point learned giga drain and from there on out, the paths through 209, solaceon town (which has ■■■■■■■ nothing), 210, and 215 were just a bloodbath. Bill became almost invincible because of a combo of stun spore and just drinking his opponents, and Hattie would make an appearance any other time. It was… frightening. @Piemanlee came out a few times to bolt some birds magic style, but those two ■■■■■■■ carried for way longer than I should have let it with these stakes.
Then we hit Veilstone and there may have been some brief galactic stuff that got hatie her final evolution, but frankly I don’t remember. I do remember immediately hitting Meylene, the fighting gym leader, feeling cocky and overleveled especially with the set up that I had.
At the time @Benedict_87 's Dirty Bird 2 was set to be the ace of the gym, with @TemetNosce backing him up if need be. I really didn’t like leading with tem in a lot of situations because he’s still paper, so I vowed to only bring him in on ■■■■ he could swap in on which turns out… was not a lot.
The actual gym was an utter joke. I think benny one shot about every single thing and took a few solid hits. I hit meylene, and looking at the move list, I’m vaguely remembering what happened.
Swablu destroyed meditite with no issues, which brought up machoke. At the time, I wasn’t really paying attention to coverage moves, and assumed dirty bird would outspeed the Machoke, so I went with either fly or wing attack… but I did not outspeed, letting the Machoke land leer. I don’t think I’d bothered to heal up before the fight aaaaaaand. Rock tomb crit.
Just blanked the bird.
This however put temet in on clean up duty, which was pretty easy with his newly found psychock, but it was indeed our first death of the campaign.
Death Count: 1
I kind of zoned out after that and didn’t pick the game back up today when I remembered I had some… Errands to run before I went to my parents house for thanksgiving today. We hit some snags on that, but I’ll have some pretty substantial updates for some of you tomorrow.
@Adabiviak … you’re probably going to want to pick a type you want me to look out for to replace you is all I’m hinting at.
Regardless, we had some light grinding and moved on to Pastoria to face Crasher Wake and I’m not even going to front, after all the ■■■■ we had during the last update the entire team is out of control at the moment.
Pie stepped up to handle front man duty, with bill on backup to handle any water ground types.
They ■■■■■■■ cleaned house. There were many shocked and shriveled bodies this day.
Chat notes to pie-
[ 10:29 AM ]
ok
you should one shot the gyrados, bring in bill for quag sire, then get you back in to murder the floatsel because of ice fang…
[ 10:34 AM ]
yeah, that went exactly how I thought it would
one shot gyrados, swap you out of quagsire and he hit bill with mud bomb, then swap you back in to eat ice fang and scorch a weasel
see
this is what happens when I dont play ■■■■■■■■■
I’ve since started the next team galactic event but not done anything with it yet, will probably not play again heavily until saturday morning, but as stated, there might be a brief update tomorrow morning…
And more to the point maybe a strategy meeting come tonight if work is slow enough because I’m worried that I don’t have a great fantina counter, which should be coming after this story mission.
Some notes - some people may be getting new pokemon named after them as we continue in and I hit some routes that don’t ■■■■■■■ suck. I’ve mostly been sticking to people I know and talk to or have talked to in the past, which has limited some things. I’m starting to have coverage concerns and I don’t want peeps feeling like they’re on “dead weight” pokemon. Also, please note that very very little of these naming conventions have… any weight. A lot of the time I’m frantically scrolling through backlogged posts to find a new “nickname”, but realistically, I should probably just start renaming some of these for the regulars so they can get in the mix.
So if I’ve named you already, mention it and if I find something I may put your name in the lottery. If you are reading this and haven’t been tagged yet… first of all sweet lord why and second of all PLEASE REMIND ME YOU ARE READING IT SO I CAN ASSIGN YOU A MON. IM HORRIBLE WITH NAMES AND AM RUNNING OUT.
That being said, here are the new editions so far-
(see immediate follow up, again running up against the 10 tag rule)
As stated, I may post a strategy meet and greet later tonight to determine roster for the next little bit, and I’ll introduce you to the team that has gotten their hands bloody so far, and for sure tomorrow early to mid afternoon will have an update for some of you that will likely be…
Pleasing.
Death Count: 1
Badge Count: 4
New mons-
@Kurtdawg13 level 19, the Ponyta
@Sun_Tsunami level 20, (Sun) the Wooper
@Psychichazard , Level 23 the Marill
@Kitty_Jo , level 24 the Kricketune
@itsTwister , level 16 the Bonsly
Glad to not be the Charizard I’m always mistaken for…
I think youre named psychichaz because I was in a rush. But yeah, if there was anything I wish I could have slapped together 
Thanks! Haha…just went swimming in 59 degree water in NC. 
Total wooper behavior.
There’s some nostalgia in that mon because of his appearance in Team Four Star’s nuzlockes, which are the ones I’ve watched previously. Because of his tendancy to yell the first part of its name in the anime (WOO) they named it the only thing they possibly could.
So… It was warm? (kidding, but the ocean around here drops into the 40s and people still swim in December - albeit to be fair, I actually take showers for health at that temperature so I probably shouldn’t be talking)
Anyways, to keep it on topic, I am pleased to have saved the rest of the team. Being a hero. Heroically.
It feels great….afterwards. The heat rushing over the body is amazing.
Alright guys, I’m going to be working on this strategy bit off and on tonight, partly to get opinions on who to rock out next, partly to give an idea of the current party and where we are (for reference, I’m typing this paragraph right now at 10:38 EST on 11/25, no idea exactly when I’ll actually click reply). Gonna start by naming the current team members and a break down on their current load out, stat totals, and moves. The names I’m listing are basically the ones that are high enough level that they can get caught up to the rest of the team, and who I think will be important going forward, not naming deaths.
Before we get into that though, an important thing about nuzlockes is planning, and planning for contingencies.
So with Crasher wake out, lets look at what major ■■■■ remains on the docket for now.
Gym Leader 5: Fantina (Ghost)
Gym Leader 6: Byron (Steel)
Gym Leader 7: Candice (Ice)
Gym Leader 8: Volkner (Electric)
Elite 4: Aaron (Bug)
Elite 3: Bertha (Ground)
Elite 2: Flint (Fire, high coverage)
Elite 1: Lucian (Psychic)
And finally… goddamn cynthia.
So here are our options right now.
@Hattie as Empoleon
Female
Current Level: 37
Types: Water/Steel
Role: Special Attacker, mild special tank.
HP: 84
Attack: 86
Defense: 88
S. Attack: 111
S. Def: 101
Speed: 60
Weak to Fighting, Ground, Electric
Immune to: Poison
Resistant to: Normal, Flying, Rock, Bug, Steel, Water, Pyscic, Ice, Dragon, Fairy (and a partridge in a pear tree)
Nature: Hasty
Ability: Torrent
Current Moveset: Metal Claw, Aqua Jet, Bubble Beam, Brine
Current Mood:
@Piemanlee as Luxray
Male
Current Level: 36
Types: Electric
Role: Blitzkrieg
HP: 80
Attack: 120
Defense: 79
S. Attack: 95
S. Def: 79
Speed: 70
Weak to: Ground
Immune to: null
Resistant to: Flying, Steel, Electric
Nature: Impish
Ability: Rivalry
Current Moveset: Bite, Leer, Spark, Volt Switch
Current Mood:
Comments: The more I look at pie, the more I’m irked that I didn’t get anything good off this shinx roll. No Intimedate, bad nature for what’s supposed to be a striker, but goddamn if he hasn’t held up. Coverage is nice at the moment, although I’m hoping for a better physical electric move before too long (he wont get it, but he might get crunch before end game), or maybe a buff move to replace leer? Honestly Ice fang or Fire fang wouldnt be bad for more coverage, but that remains a mystery at this point. I wish his typing added something (I would burn so many goats for him to be Dark Electric), but he’s easily our best electric roadie right now.
@billthebetta as Roselia (will be roserade as soon as I can find a goddamn shiny stone, fully evolved stats seen below)
Female
Current Level: 36
Types: Grass Poison
Role: Femme Fatale and Grand Arbiter of Statuses
HP: 60
Attack: 70
Defense: 65
S. Attack: 125
S. Def: 105
Speed: 90
Weak to: Flying, Fire, Psychic, Ice
Immune to: null
Resistant to: Fighting, Water, Grass, Electric, Fairy
Nature: Timid
Ability: Poison Point
Current Moveset: Giga Drain, Poison Sting, Stun Spore, Grass Knot
Current Mood:
@Benedict_87 as Staravia (Soon to be Staraptor)
Male
Current Level: 28
Types: Normal/Flying
Role: High speed Striker and Edgelord Supreme
HP: 85
Attack: 120
Defense: 70
S. Attack: 50
S. Def: 50
Speed: 100
Weak to: Rock, Electric, Ice
Immune to: Ground, Ghost
Resistant to: Bug, Grass
Nature: Sassy
Ability: Intimidate
Current Move Set: Aerial Ace, Double Team, Quick Attack, Wing Attack
Current Mood:
Comments: Was my main bird jam until I found DirtybirdII who obviously is… dead and never to be seen again. Just so everyone understands the joke an why Benny was going to be every flying type - 1) He’s benny and 2)Flying types in nuzlockes have a long history of um. Dying. I thought I’d need one around for the Fly HM (I don’t) so the joke was going to be every time one died we’d have DirtybirdX in the wings, like santa’s little helper in the simpsons. Regardless, even with his namesake gone, he’s got a decent stat total as long as he doesn’t take a special attack of any goddamn type. Which is fine! Once he evolves he’ll one shot everything! Right! RIGHT. In any case, when he does evolve he picks up close combat, and if he lives, he’ll also pick up brave bird later. For now, Aerial Ace more than gets the job done. It’s super likely that if he makes the hard cut into the team, he’ll also get the TM for Thief when I find it for coverage. Overall, he’s been good, but neglected since I thought I was going to main his brother. We’ll get him up to speed quick.
@Psychichazard as Marill (Using Stats of Azumarill, Since one Level should evolve him)
Male
Current Level: 23
Types: Water/Fairy
Role: Bubbly Friendly Mod and hit taker
HP: 100
Attack: 50
Defense: 80
S. Attack: 60
S. Def: 80
Speed: 50
Weak to: Poison, Grass, Electric
Immune to: Dragon
Resistant to: Fighting, Bug, Fire, Water, Ice, Dark
Nature: Bold
Ability: Thick Fat
Current Move Set: Slam, Bounce, Aqua Tail, Play Rough
Current Mood:
Comments: So here’s the deal. I’m not a huge fan of Marill’s stat output, but it’s typing and HP may earn it a spot on this team. Fairy being flat ■■■■■■■ immune to dragon is goddamn insane. It can hit dark types which right now we don’t have a lot of great strategies for but might have potential other answers. The attack stats are utterly unnoteworthy but the sheer bulk may make up for it if I get it with the right moveset, but I’ve never even thought about training one of these so I don’t know if it would be worth it in the end. Still, he’s the newest addition to the party, and on the list.
That leaves us with the last 3 “potentials” on the list, and they all share something very special in common. I was going to save it for tomorrow but since this is a strategy pow wow… well let’s talk about it.
@TemetNosce , @VaultHunter101 , and @Jefe are all going to evolve tomorrow into Alakazam, Machamp, and Golem respectively. I would have done it today, but the niece’s switch hadn’t been updated in eons and we werent on a good connection. She will be rewarded with @Adabiviak 's Jirachi self since she used her profile and not mine when starting her game and didn’t get Jirachi. Them’s the breaks but it’s good news to all three of you because your ■■■■■■■ final forms kick ass and I’ve never gotten to trade evolve anything before because I was a sad child with no friends and a game genie.
I’m bringing it up now because I’m going to use the max stat totals for all three of you in your descriptors and also because Tem and VH in particular have one glaring drawback - single ■■■■■■■ typing. I feel like jefe falls into this issue as well even though he’ll be rock ground, primarily because I don’t feel like they’ve done enough to differentiate the two, but to be blunt, all three of you are going to be some of the best in class at one thing - Temet will absolutely cause brains to drip out of noses as a sweeper, VH will beat the ■■■■ out of people like there’s no tomorrow, and Jefe might be the stone on which I build my church until I decide to make him self destruct… but all of you are real weak to certain things and the lack of type coverage could leads to gaps in the team.
Hence this entire powwow.
That being said, lets get started with your breakdowns.
Jefe as Graveler (Soon to be Golem)
Current Level: 25
Types: Rock/Ground
Role: The Mountain that does not ride
HP: 80
Attack: 110
Defense: 130
S. Attack: 55
S. Def: 65
Speed: 45
Weak to: Fighting, Ground (4X), Water, Grass
Immune to: null
Resistant to: Normal, Flying, Poison, Fire, Electric
Nature: Bold
Ability: Rock Head
Current Move Set: Smack Down, Self-Destruct, Sandstorm, Bulldoze
Current Mood:
Temet as Alakazam
Male
Male
Current Level: 35
Types: Psychic
Role: Legion
HP: 55
Attack: 50
Defense: 45
S. Attack: 135 (god. damn.)
S. Def: 95
Speed: 120 (GOD. DAMN.)
Weak to: Bug, Ghost, Dark
Immune to: null
Resistant to: Fighting, Psychic
Nature: Careful
Ability: Inner Focus
Current Move Set: Shock Wave, Psychic, Psychock, Dazzling Gleam
Current Mood:
Comments: Words can’t really express how ecstatic I am that tem is going to be Alakazam. This pokemon is a goddamn reaper. Right now he’s been fairly coddled in that he’s kind of like the “Final Form” in any good anime fght, in that when I use him he saps my life force. More to the point, he can one shot goddamn near anything, especially since he learned the big boy Psychic, but if something looks at him crosseed he will fold like a 1st grade oragami set. I’m really digging his coverage right now because of the way Psychock works right now, as it’s damage is calculated off the user’s special stat, and is considered a special move, but uses physical defense instead of special defense, meaning that he will always be able to deliver a brain punch to the weakest part of whatever he’s hitting. Shock wave and Dazzling gleam are good for coverage as well, but at some point I do probably need to get him either on Nasty Plot or Calm Mind so that if he gets a chance to set up against some uppity bitch some day (glares at cynthia) he can body her in every way imaginable. Again, there are some issues with type coverage and the fact that he’s made of paper mache, but it would be hard for me to put him on the bench.
Vaulthunter101 as Machamp
Male
Male
Current Level: 34
Types: Fighting
Role: Breaker of Men
HP: 90
Attack: 130
Defense: 80
S. Attack: 65
S. Def: 85
Speed: 55
Weak to: Flying, Psychic, Fairy
Immune to: null
Resistant to: Rock, Bug Dark
Nature: Naive
Ability: No Guard
Current Move Set: Low Kick, Low Sweep, Knock Off, Vital Throw
Current Mood:
So those are our choices, and boy do we have choices to make, especially right now running into the ghost gym soon after our team gets their season 2 upgrades.
As a reminder, what we have to look forward to-
Gym Leader 5: Fantina (Ghost)
Gym Leader 6: Byron (Steel)
Gym Leader 7: Candice (Ice)
Gym Leader 8: Volkner (Electric)
Elite 4: Aaron (Bug)
Elite 3: Bertha (Ground)
Elite 2: Flint (Fire, high coverage)
Elite 1: Lucian (Psychic)
Plus all the team galactic ■■■■ (loads of different types but with propensity to poison).
So the key here is that we want to come up with a good team comp with at least 1-2 pokemon that can do something in each of these areas, and hopefully won’t y’know… die, because that blasts ■■■■■■■ giant holes in our strategies. There are a few team mock ups I’ve looked at thus far using the Marriland team builder.
The first I think we’re pretty much forced into for a while is going to happen at least up until fantina.
Empoleon
Luxio
Alakazam
Machamp
Roselia
Staraptor
This gives us a decent matchup with everything except goddamn fire which we are not weak to, but have nothing that’s resistant to. Really counting on hattie here to be able to quash any flames asap.
The main reason this team is gonna be neccesary is that the only ■■■■■■■ strategy I can really think of to handle the ghost gym… isn’t the best idea.
Basically I’ll be leading with Benedict after some levels and counting on most of the gym not being able to hit him. His flying types will still land, and hopefully that’s enough to give us the edge. Pie can back him up with coverage on bite, but can be hit by ghost moves, but that’s pretty much our only full on counter unless I find the thief TM and teach it to dirty bird. At which point he might sweep but I’m not looking forward to it. Our team is diverse enough that a lot of things can hit these, but I’m really scared of a random destiny bond or something sending us to an early grave.
After that our options open up a bit, and we may be swapping people in and out as we need be. Presuming vault hunter lives he’ll be great in the next two gyms. He’ll have pie backing him up in the steel gym, who isn’t supereffective but is resistant, and hattie has his back in the ice gym (■■■■, she may be leading that charge). I think we’d absolutely need to have golem to take out the electric gym.
So basically, after dealing with ghost, I’ve tried a few different combos-
Empoleon
Luxio
Alakazam
Machamp
Roselia
Staraptor
No fire resist, but no more than 2 pokemon are weak to any one type
Empoleon
Luxio
Alakazam
Machamp
Roselia
Golem
Covers fire, but we have no ground answer and have no one to cover ghost.
Empoleon
Luxio
Alakazam
Starraptor
Roselia
Golem
Covers Ghost, but we have 3x weaknesses against ice and ground, and no answer to dark.
Empoleon
Luxio
Alakazam
Starraptor
Machamp
Golem
Covers all, 3x weakness vs Ground but it is covered by Starraptor.
Which is all I have to add for this strategy session. Legit polling the audience for tips or improvements either in moveset or team makeup. Legit I think the first set has to be what we us in the ghost gym, there’s just nothing else for it. After that I am absolutely all ears as to anything we can to to massage our chances here.
I think the biggest thing I hate right now is that @Benedict_87 is suddenly way more important than I thought because of… jesus, normal/flying typing. Two immunities gets us a long way assuming I can keep him alive…
Sad Sidelined Shellos Noises
