Audio Log Titled: "Toby's 'Friendship' Raid?!" EDIT: Gone Wrong?!

This audio log was sent to Toby by Whiskey Foxtrot upon hearing of the so called “Friendship Raid”

So, you went on a cooool adventure called the “Friendship Raid” huh? Well then, I guess I know where I stand, huh?

I thought we were pals, Toby, you KNOW I love shooting dudes, dodging lasers and blowing up space ships! That’s like, 3 of my top ten things to do with friends!

Whiskey Foxtrot is clearly attempting to hold back tears.

The worst part is, ISIC and Pendles told me all about it! You blew up roughly 10 ships, and killed a TON of jerkbags! And YOU DIDN’T INVITE ME?!

You didn’t invite me, but you let ISIC, Pendles, and Pheobe go with you though, huh?

Greeaaaat. sniff You invite the crazy robot jerk, the psycho snake creep, and the pretentious science lady. But not sniff your old pal Foxtrot!

WAAAARRAAAGGHH!!!

Whiskey yells half in anger, half in anguish as you hear a table splinter

I swear to Minrec, if I’m delegated to supporting the assh*le Mike in “battle school” as my official Operation appearance, I’m gonna airlock someone!

Whiskey calms down, moderately

sniff I’m not mad Toby. Just… disappointed. sniff When you get this, I’ll probably be in the infirmary. I may or may not have a thousand or so splinters in my arm right now, anyway, I’ll see you later, Toby.

XOXO, Whiskey Foxtrot

The audio log ends with a loud thud, presumably because Whiskey passed out due to blood loss.

-Received 24 hours ago

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Toby: Are… Are you being serious right now?! I WAS CAPTURED, YOU MORON!! Do you think i wanted Pendles there?! That guy scares the crap out of me!

Also, if you see Benedict, would you please, like… slit his throat for me? THAT A**HOLE TAUNTED ME FOR THREE HOURS WHEN I WAS TRAPPED!!

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Whiskey Foxtrot: But ISIC told me it was a huge bonanza, and that I didn’t make the list.

Pendles told me Reyna planned to even have a rodeo clown!

No one’s so heartless to lie about a rodeo clown! …Right?

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Toby: I… I REALLY don’t want to talk about it…
A-And NOT because ISIC threatened to rip my beak off if i did! He was, uh… REALLY emotional about the whole Thaddeus thing… I’m not even sure how that’s possible, but Reyna said to just let it go.

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WAIT A MINUTE! Thaddeus? That dude is a major a**hole!

(TFR spoiler is blurred)

The guy helped me with my gear, but he was constantly trying to scam me! My gun barely holds together, thanks to his damn corner cutting! Never trust a Lorrian!

Now if you’re serious about them lying, I’ve got a snake to stab.

I’m not f*cking with ISIC though. Dude freaks me out.

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(as Ernest): Hate to tell you, Foxtrot, but it wasn’t exactly the party that infernal robot made it out to be. Blowing up ships and dealing with captured allies is not entertainment.

And, uh, Toby? Please inform Benedict I’ll be seeing him bright and early tomorrow morning at 5:00. I have a nice little addition to his morning workout sessions that I’m sure he’ll enjoy.

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I am sorry about what I am gonna do because you guys are having this super fun RP party but…

I really hope whiskey is in the battle school. After playing through the friendship raid I am kinda glad he wasn’t there because of the silliness of it. I do expect him to be in the battle school though and feel like he would fit in better in that particular dlc since the only form of major connection with anything is the mikes.

Ok carry on. Sorry for the disturbance

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Toby: Aw, come on, Ernest… Let’s just kill him! …please?

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(as Ernest): For the last time, he may be a complete pain in the tail feathers, but he’s still useful. Same reason Kleese keeps ISIC around. Don’t forget about what I told you, Toby - don’t stoop to his level! Just cause he’s got wings and an ego larger than MINREC’s doesn’t mean he’s better than you.

chuckles Besides, when I’m through with him tomorrow, he’ll sure be wishing he was dead.

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Uhhh, I was trying to send an email to Reyna asking about this whole thing, so she could clear up the rodeo clown thing for me.

And, I may have accidentally sent the email to Benedict instead.

I’m sorry, I’m not used to these new terminals.

image

These are what I had as a young clone.

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(as Ernest): Ahhh. Good old days.

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Toby: Okay, you really need to stop sending me messages like that, Ernest; they’re REALLY awkward… and kind of insulting.

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Toby (excitedly): What’s a “cryolator”?! Aw, man, i should TOTALLY install one of those on Berg! Then i can FREEZE BENEDICT’S UGLY F**KING FACE, AND SMASH IT INTO BITS!!

Oh, man… Sorry for the violent outburst! Please don’t tell Reyna… She makes me stand in the corner…

Or Orendi… I don’t want any more of her creepy notes.

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I dunno, probably another weapon made specifically to kill me.

The RDC used to make a crap load of weapons to get ol’ Whiskey 6 feet under. This “cryolator” is probably a weapon that accidentally killed some poor tester shmuck, so they never bothered with it.

If you REALLY want one, we can either leave Solus to try and snag one from the RDC plant, or I could rummage through a crap ton of old terminals to see if I can still pull the schematics.

Those parts ain’t gonna come easy though. Kleese will price gouge the sh*t out of you.

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HEY!!!
AT LEAST YOU WEREN’T THROWN OFF OF NOVA DURING THE WHOLE THING!!!
I WAS STUCK ON FRIGGIN’ EKKUNAR THE WHOLE TIME!!!
I HAD TO BUY THE GAME DLC ON MY FRIGGIN’ TABLET DOWN HERE TO PARTICIPATE!!!

Aha… ahahahaha… AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I don’t regret my purchase!
That was HILARIOUS!!!
YOU!!!
TRAPPED!!!
Ahehehehe…
IN MID AIR!!!
OH GREAT EAGLE IT’S STILL FUNNY!!!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Wait a minute… WHAT THE HELL!!! I THOUGHT ERNEST WAS IN A COMA!!!
NOVA WHAT THE F***!!!

NOVA:
Uh… he recovered! Oh my! It’s a miracle! You believe in miracles, right Benedict?

BENEDICT:
Nova… the truth. Now.

NOVA:
YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!

BENEDICT:
Toby didn’t really go on a rampage, did he?

NOVA:
He was pretty pissed…

BENEDICT:
Montana, Ernest, Reyna and Marquis are all fine aren’t they?

NOVA:
Well…

BENEDICT:
He didn’t really arc mine my quarters did he?

NOVA:
No… that actually happened.

BENEDICT:
And the rest…

NOVA:
Toby locked himself in the simulation room and proceeded to hunt down Benedicts in Berg for the next 10 hours straight.

BENEDICT:
Ah… Ah ha… So when are you guys pickin’ me up?

A bright light appears in the sky.

NOVA:
The truth is we were delayed getting here. Some Rendain loyalists attempted to assassinate Deande. She, Pendles, Whiskey, Attikus, and Oscar were on a special mission on Tempest hunting down the terrorist cell. We had one of the orbiting Eldrid patrol vessels throw you down some supplies and I kept a satellite in orbit to give you Internet access.

Nova’s loading ramp opens above Benedict.

BENEDICT:
You were supposed to be monitoring me. Especially after the Halloween incident.

NOVA:
I was. From a distance. As one of the heads of state, Deande’s more important than you. Your bio-monitor’s still sending me data.

Benedict gathers his bags.

BENEDICT:
Yeah… whatever… Glad you guys had fun without me.

NOVA:
Uh… you’re welcome. I didn’t have to give you Internet access at all a**hole.

BENEDICT:
Am I in my quarters or am I sleeping somewhere else?

NOVA:
You’ll have a roommate until we stop by a shop to repair the outer hull.

BENEDICT:
Who?

AMBRA:
I DO NOT WANT THAT FILTHY BIRD IN MY ROOM!!!

BENEDICT:
F*** you Nova.

NOVA:
You’re welcome!

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Toby (standing in the corner): Aw, man… I’ll have to pass then, because Ghalt made me pay for blowing up Benedict’s quar-

Reyna: Toby! What the hell did i just say? No Talking in time-out!

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Whiskey: Ehh, I’ll have a look anyway. Maybe Santa Claus will get you something nice.

After a delay, and a loud thud, you hear Pendles shout in pain

Pendles: OOOW, You bloody moron, that’s my stomach! Last I checked, knives don’t go there!

Whiskey: DON’T YOU EVER LIE ABOUT RODEO CLOWNS!

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Uh huh… so business as usual, eh guys?

@HandsomeCam YO TOBY!!! You got somethin’ to say to me, you come say it now! I’m back!

EDIT: I’ll be camping out in the cargo bay if you wanna talk. There is NO WAY IN HELL I’M STAYING WITH AMBRA!!!

I make no guarantees I won’t laugh at your capture to your face.

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ISIC: Oh, my God; how many times do i have to tell you brainless meatbags that Santa Claus isn’t real?

Toby (still in the corner): What?!

Reyna: TOBY!!

Toby: But-

Reyna: One more word out of you, and Benedict can have your room for tonight, because you’ll be bunking with Orendi!

Orendi (from the other corner): -hysterical laughter-
YES!! YESYESYESYESYES-

Reyna: One more word out of YOU, and-

-Toby, meanwhile, has been incited into yelling at Benedict, for his latest comment upon returning from Ekkunar-

Toby: I’M GONNA RIP YOUR FEATHERS OUT ONE BY ONE, YOU SONOFA-

Reyna: Oh, that it IT!

As HandsomeCam: Yeah… Got kind of carried away that time, haha. Damn it… I want to continue this SO BAD, but i have to get up for work in six hours… So i’ll be back on here in eight.

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Oh sh*t, I left this thing on? Crap, NO ONE TELL REYNA!

Reyna can be heard at the door

Reyna: Open up, fool. You screwed up, and now you’re gonna stand in time out too.

Whiskey: Uhh, I don’t know what you’re talking about! I was just talking with my good friend Benedict!

Reyna scowls and opens the door herself. With her foot.

Reyna: Don’t you dare play dumb with me, Whiskey, you left your damn knife in Pendles’ stomach.

Whiskey: Hehehehe… S-sorry ma’m. Any chance I could get that knife back?

Reyna: You can have it back after you’re through with time out. Now turn off that terminal, and stand in the corner.

Whiskey groans loudly

Later, guys.

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