#261

WHAT THE F**K DID YOU SAY!?!

Awkwardly climbes into Berg and levels railgun at Ernest.

I’m not an IDIOT!

4 Likes
#262

@HandsomeCam @nbrownlie237
HEY!!! WOULD YOU TWO QUIET DOWN OUT THERE!!???
ESPECIALLY YOU, TOBY…
SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO WATCH THE BALLET!!!

5 Likes
#263

QUIET YOUR… FACE!!

Toby looks to Ernest for approval, but is met with disappointed headshake.

5 Likes
#264

I meant that they should call it Finiscian tape because it’s strong! Not because… Ah, to hell with this. Talking to people is hard. I’m a soldier, not a politician, dammit!

Also. Benedict, what’s this about you watching ballet? Goddammit I thought I sent you to clean up the mess that Mellka and Attikus left in the weapons bay after you set them on inspection duty!

4 Likes
#265

You all need to join this topic :heart: Best thread against boredom, for all your off-topic-needs. And likes, I think it started with likes…

3 Likes
#266

REYNA:
QUIET YOUR ASS DOWN OUT THERE TOBY!!!

PHOEBE:
Yes… PLEASE…

MARQUIS:
If ze big bird can keep quiet… YOU can keep quiet!

EL DRAGÓN: (In tears)
That was… that was… beautiful…

He stands and claps.

MONITOR:
Next… the Aviant Ace Performers will enact their rendition of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s “Swan Lake.”

GHALT:
I told him he could stay here and watch with us if he kept his damn mouth shut.

BENEDICT:
Ernest… come’re! They got a real swan performing! And she’s HOT…

GHALT:
Benny! You’ve been quiet for two hours! Don’t start now…

Benedict motions that his beak is sealed… and then… texts Ernest.

Ernest… seriously… damn…

5 Likes
#267

But… But i don’t WANT to trade in my likes! I like to fill my bathtub with them, and bath in the love i so desperately crave…

Uh, i mean… I AM BECOME DEATH!! DESTROYER OF WORLDS!!!

4 Likes
#268

Well, hell… In that case, I’ll make an exception.

Ernest plunks himself down on the couch next to El Dragón.

Popcorn, anyone?

2 Likes
#269

Points towards Ernest’s popcorn bucket.

C-Can i have, um… Nevermind.

2 Likes
#270

chuckles Go ahead, I got plenty. With extra butter.

Just don’t let Montana at 'em.

1 Like
#271

Toby eagerly reaches into Ernest’s popcorn bucket, but is unable to grasp any popcorn with his flipper. He looks down at his flippers with a look of pure agonized shame, then hangs his head and walks out of the room.

…Toby also enters Benedict’s room and pees on his bed, on the way to his room. No one will know it was HIM, as university hated as Benedict is by the other Battleborn.

EDIT: Damn it, i’m out of likes for today…
Air Supply’s “I’m All Out of Love” starts playing.

2 Likes
#272

Texting Toby…

Toby… why are you narrating your practical jokes?
Also… more importantly… I JUST GOT THOSE DAMN SHEETS!!!

2 Likes
#273

IT’S CALLED DRAMATIC EFFECT, YOU MORON!!

Reyna: It’s called “ya done f**ked up”, fool.

Tosses laundry basket to Toby.

Reyna: Go on, get Benedict’s sheets down to the laundry, and then wash 'em!

2 Likes
#274

Texting Toby…

Oh yeah… I forgot to mention… Reyna got bored and walked out.
:smirk:

OH!!! And use the “Mountain Fresh” scent. None of that “Ocean Breeze” sh*t.

4 Likes
#275

Later that day, Ernest sends Toby a smaller bucket of popcorn, along with a pair of flipper-friendly tongs. A note attached to the tongs says “Courtesy of MINREC. Don’t say I don’t take care of my squad.”

2 Likes
#276

As myself (whispering): This is the part where, if i was @Benedict_87, i’d make up some humorous story about how the yellow liquid on Toby’s popcorn wasn’t butter, but something that Toby would quickly associate with a certain Hawk’s recently ruined sheets; a certain hawk who, because of a cataclysmically bad judgment call on Ernest’s part, was tasked with sending Toby the popcorn in question.

I got more likes in five minutes, guys.

EDIT: Nevermind about those likes, guys; the forum bot lied to me.

3 Likes
#277

Ernest would NEVER be so stupid. He’d send Oscar…

OSCAR MIKE: (Wearing short brown delivery pants over his armor)
HEY BRO!!!

TOBY:
Uh… hi?

OSCAR MIKE:
I’ve got a… PACKAGE… for you.

TOBY:
Uh… ok…

OSCAR MIKE:
Yep… looks like they’re… EXTRA SALTY…

TOBY:
Uh…

OSCAR MIKE:
With all that… GOOEY BUTTER coating 'em!!!

TOBY:
Uh… uh… Reyna…

OSCAR MIKE:
Don’t worry little guy… I know they’re a bit slippery… but I’m sure you’ll be able to HOLD ON…

TOBY:
You’re… you’re really freaking me out…

Toby backs towards Berg…

OSCAR MIKE:
Hey… wait… I know they dried out a little, but that’s nothing a little SALIVA won’t fix…

Toby jumps in berg, grabs his ■■■■ whistle, blows into it, and levels his railgun at Oscar.

TOBY:
BACK OFF!!! BACK OFF!!! JUST BACK THE F**K OFF OK!!! NO MEANS NO!!!

Reyna runs in…

REYNA:
Toby… how many times have I told you… the unnecessary sequel to “Guns of Fate” DOES NOT COUNT AS ■■■■!!! Oscar… WHAT… THE… F**K…

OSCAR MIKE:
Hey relax… Ernest just sent me to deliver some popcorn. Now if you’ll excuse me… Whiskey was in the middle of showing me a movie! He says it’s got a real EXPLOSIVE CLIMAX!!! I dressed up… cuz it’s about a delivery guy… and I think there’s also a romance subplot… if you wanna watch…

REYNA:
I’ll pass. Thanks.

Oscar walks out and sees Attikus coming out of his room…

OSCAR MIKE:
Hey Bro! COME here… I’ve got a SPECIAL PACKAGE for you…

Attikus immediately turns right back around and walks into his room, slamming the door shut.

7 Likes
#278

How that Mike made it through the rejects process at the RDC plant, I will never know.

(Out of character): What was censored in there?

3 Likes
#279

Hahaha-HOLY CRAP!! That was WAY better than i could ever have pictured in my feable mind. It’s nothing short of devastating to me that i can’t like it…

Funniest post of the month. Seriously.

image

4 Likes
#280

Rap with an “E” attached at the end.

2 Likes