I feel terrible because I’m guilty of both of the things you said.
What I used to do was specify in my “item find showoff” posts that the community patch was running, because I think a mod in there slightly improved the drop rates of rare gear and I didn’t want to make people think that the gear I found was accurate to the vanilla game. I regret posting the pepperbox screenshot, that gun is not vanilla at all. It’s a glorified two-shot Jakobs revolver, but still not vanilla.
Nowadays I just don’t post any finds because the increased drop rate mod made them not special anymore. Even after I disabled the offending mod in question, it just wasn’t the same afterwards.
The developer of the community patch seemed to have a clear bias towards some guns and characters (Axton), and what drove me out of their discord chatroom was a bunch of regulars discussing how they could nerf Salvador into oblivion. I don’t think the main developer was there at the time, but it left a really sour impression.
Making the Flayer and Legendary Grenadier mods optional was a great step in the right direction towards trying to stay in the vision of the original developers, but the sheer amount of custom mods that have been created since the patch “opened the floodgates” has thrown any semblance of the original vision and balance out the window. I know this from experience, I tried some of the particularly egregious ones. They just aren’t fun, in my opinion. (I sold the Punter shotgun immediately after the target dummy screenshot, for anyone who remembers me using that a long while back.)
When I played with my friends using the patch, we were all very careful about having the exact same mods enabled in order to not cause any conflicts. We always had private games to prevent random people from joining and having some of their items being overwritten, and we always made backups of our saves just in case anything went wrong. Sometimes, things did go wrong.
Public games usually don’t have the same level of courtesy, so deletions will happen if someone is rude enough to run an item-replacing mod in a public game. It’s an unfortunate reality. People should be considerate about running mods only in single player or private games, but there’s always going to be a sour apple or two to ruin the entire batch. Backing up your characters and profile files is a must, especially with all of these game-altering mods running amok nowadays.
Sorry for the long essay, I just had to throw in my two cents.
Seriousness aside, the enemy randomizer was incredibly fun and I wish it supported more than 2 players so I could’ve played it with some of you guys.