Mellka sits with a cup of coffee on the command deck of Nova having a calm, casual conversation with Thorn, Deande, Phoebe, Marquis, Rath, Kleese, Ghalt, Miko, and Shayne and Aurox over powdered breakfast pastries. Rath seems confused, like he’s never had a casual breakfast before, and keeps stabbing his jelly doughnut with his fork. Shayne keeps chuckling and trying to show him the proper use of utensils.
ENTER BENEDICT - Soaked… armor torn and tattered… covered in bat sh*t… cuts, bruises, and open wounds everywhere… feathers completely disheveled… smells like a dead, um, you know what, pretty much Boldur’s room… and he’s tired, hungry, and PISSED.
Oh, hey, Benedict! Back from recon huh? Looks like you had a rough time. Man, that sucks. What happened down there? I mean, we lost contact… I think… I dunno… last night’s still a bit hazy… but I know you had it handled right? I mean… you are the most badass rocket hawk in the system right? That’s why we sent you! You clearly had the operation in in your claws. So… uh… report I guess? How’d the reconnaissance mission go? Oh… oh… stay away from the brunch spread. We don’t need you getting whatever that is all over the food, plus you’re still on ration packs from that business on Ekkunar… So… uh… yeah… report!
Mellka grabs a doughnut and takes a big bite. The others watch, either amused, rolling their eyes, or not wanting to say anything. GHALT… you could have said SOMETHING…
I… was down there… for 7 hours… in the freezing cold. I… got attacked… by a SWARM… of frost bats. They wrecked my chat device AND my comms unit AND my emergency comms unit… and by the way it is standard procedure to send backup when you lose contact with one of your reconnaissance units, Mellka… and then… they decided to attack me. I was covered in the frigging leeches… they bit the hell out of me… wrecked my armor… tore up my thermal protection… I had to drop from the sky and fire off Boomsday 12 times to kill 'em all, or at least get ‘em to retreat. I struggled for the next 45 minutes to make it back to the rendezvous point. Fired up the emergency transmitter… No Nova. For 3 hours. I had to find a nearby cave, slaughter a damaroghi that nearly ATE ME… crawl in and use it’s body for warmth… those things smell Mellka… which still didn’t work so I had to break open my rockets and use the incendiaries to make a fire. Now out of ammunition. After 3 HOURS… STILL NO NOVA. Check the transmitter… working fine! Check the connection… you should be receiving me! And then the swarmers came, and I’m down there… MELLKA, unarmed… I had to rig the transmitter to blow, use my launcher to beat the remainder off like a club. STILL NO NOVA. 35 MORE MINUTES… A passing garbage scow heading for the UPR colony noticed the explosion and finally came to pick me up. They recognized me. All commented on how they heard I was a jackass, and how it was SO NICE that it was just a rumor and I was SO QUIET for their whole trip. Spent an hour and a half listening to all their stories about what a jackass I am. Finally get them to take me here once their garbage run is done. And I find you guys… with your little brunch… not even caring what happened to ol’ Benedict.
Yep. Anything else to report?
I’m hungry, I’m tired, I’m cold, I need lots of disinfectant, probably some vaccinations and additional medical attention but I’ll settle for a long shower right now. And… I’m real… real… damned angry.
Ok… cool… well… you go shower or preen yourself or whatever the hell you do when you’re not wasting time chatting online, or watching old TV shows, or pigging out on junk food… I know about your stash by the way… and yeah… nice report. Oh… and um… great job out there soldier… that’s what you say right? Ghalt? Is that what you guys say?
Benedict, trembling with rage walks towards the door. Enter Ernest, Montana, Galilea ,and Oscar Mike.
OH HERE YOU ARE!!! Look who was too good to bother showing up for my mandatory exercise regiment AGAIN recruits. Benedict… I swear to the Great Eagle if you don’t get your act…
Looks at me.
What the hell happened to you?
I shove him out of the way.
Ghalt… I’m grabbing several gallons of disinfectant and wound sealant from the med bay, and I better not hear any BULLSH*T ABOUT MY SELF MEDICATION PRIVILEGES BEING REVOKED!!!
I storm out.
What the hell happened to him?
Mellka gives him her most sarcastic, sadistic smile and grabs for another pastry. Finds the box is empty.
Oh, g*ddammit Kleese!