I’m 50 also and spent a lot of time with my 9yr old son playing BL2. Years of memories there that I’m grateful for.
I too ordered the super deluxe versions for us to play BL3 but I’m not having any of the same issues you mentioned. I do agree BL3 is different (better) though needs some UI tweaking, and the only issue I have is the small text when we play split screen co-op. I have to stand up whenever I want to read something on the screen. We play on Xbox One X on an 86" 4k tv.
Good luck to you and your son, I hope you find some way to improve the situation while playing BL3.