Favorite quotes in BL2?

Can’t lie, BL2 has the best quotes out of all three games.

My top two are from the douchey bar patron from the Tiny Tina DLC.

“Hey baby – I’m hung like a Vault monster.”

“Ow! Oh c’mon! Alright, I’m sorry! I’ll never say nothin’ douchey again, I promise… B*TCH!”

First time I heard the second quote I was crying of laughter.


“Eight… Inches…”


Lol where’s that from?

One of the civillians in Sanctuary is a serious creep. He’s got some other funny quotes, but I often look for that guy just to hear him grumble that line. He (like most of them) seems to have random skins assigned to him (or random voices assigned to the NPC, whatever), but he’s almost always there. Another one is the “foreign” visitor looking for the “Moxxi underboob palacio”. Her lines are gold.

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“Holy nutballs!”

“Bring me a bucket, and I’ll show you a bucket!”

“I wonder, if I plant you in the ground, if you’ll grow taller?”


“Does that mean you’re hard to find and ultimately disappointing?”

“Come to me, my pasty cake!”


“NO YOU HAVE A TIME OUT!!!” psycho bandit death quote

handsome jack spoon story when you first enter the highlands.

when handsome jack mocks bloodwings death by poorly playing a banjo.

so many more. most of them come from psycho bandits and handsome jack


Piston’s quotes !

My pecs are laughing at you!
mimics pecs laughing
You hear that?!

Banjo? No wonder it sounded so wonky - very hard to use a bow on a banjo! (It was actually a violin…)

Not sure I have one favourite line from BL2, but as noted above the Sanctuary citizens have an amazing assortment of good ones. That and Claptrap’s lines including and following the “Stairs? Noooooooooo!!!” bit.

And anything Maya says, because Maya.

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Moxxi and Jack arguing over the echo, he’s like " get what I’m talking about right???.. Dcks I’m talking about Dckssss."


Piston and Torgue!

“CATCH-A-FAMILIAL-RECONCILIATIOOOOOOON!”. It’s stupid, but it was just so unexpected. It gets me every time.

I also love the enemy that screams about almost having completed his comic collection when you kill him. Oh, and also the one that says “Tell my wife… She’s a bitch…”.

The Morningstar sniper rifle quotes are all brilliant and everything that comes out of Mr. Torgue’s mouth is pure gold (I particularly like the story about wrestling the shark wearing the bolo tie).


“Ya i know i should of got the sponsers set up ahead of time but i was too busy suplexing a shark wearing a bolo tie. Your probally wondering who was wearing the bolo tie. Answer: YES!!!”

  • Mr. Torgue


  • Mr. Torgue

“I told you to stay away Vault Hunter, but now it’s time I fought you in single combat. Gladiator versus gladiator, versus ---- GIANT GDDMNED METAL T-REX!”

  • Piston

But yeah… pretty much any commentary from Torgue is hilarious.


“Sorry about the mess. Everything Jack kills, he dumps here – bandits, Vault Hunters, Claptrap units… If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed!”

“Jack’s tearing Pandora apart to find the Vault. They say Jack’s drilling operations are causing those earthquakes. That, or your mom just got outta bed. ZING!”

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“Did you know over 97% of all creatures on Pandora aren’t exploding right now? THAT’S BLLSHT! BUY TORGUE!”
-Mr. Torgue

“Reinforcements…depleted.” - Computer guarding the door
“Don’t worry baby, happens to a lot of girls.”

  • Claptrap

“She’s got a gut full of dynamite and a booty like POW”"
This here’s Mushy Snugglebites, and this is Felicia Sexopants. These fiiiine-ass womens could stop that train for yas, but I’ma need their badonkadonks first, and they got stoled by the bandits a few days ago. Go get 'em!"
“When you are ready to begin the Tea-Party, please smack Mister Flesh Stick in his bitch face.”

Anything tiny tina says rocks,
“I’ll wear your scrotum like a face mask!” "BURN ALL THE BABIES!!! Keep away unless you want a lead milkshake! could go on and on and on every time I wade in to people I die cause I’m laughing at what they say, genius


I don’t know why but when a nomad is slagged and he says, “Slagged, really?” I just love the way it is said.

And this always makes me laugh, out loud, and sometimes spit out my drink through my nose. Again, it is just the voice acting that is so superb. And they put Roland’s echo image on the screen. Classic.
“Hey everybody, it’s me, Roland, let’s kill Handsome Jack and then all go out for milkshakes.”



All of bl2 is funny, down to what enemies say. I love the guns handsome jack gives you, and the Bane guns are hilarious. And Tiny Tina ofc is awesome. But I think my favorite is Marcus trying to mimic Scooter, “catch a guuuun! Puh, not doing that again.”

Tiny Tina’s DLC in Moxxi’s tavern. A nameless patron says something along the lines of “Moxxi, I’m surprised you’re not orange, because that…body…is…legendary!”

Theres alot of quotes i love in Borderlands,BL2,and BL:TPS that if i type it all the lists will be very long so i’ll just pick one my fav…
“Bring me a Bucket,and i’ll show you a bucket”