Friends on PC always show up as offline no matter what I do

I’m just trying to join my friend who is on PC, I’m on Xbox series X. I have crossplay enabled, we are friends on shift, we’re both online, we can both connect to matchmaking services. But we can’t do is join each other because no matter what we do we are both offline for each other. Tried restarting, try it unfriending, what the hell do I do

I am having a very similar issue but my brother is playing on xbox one i think and he was able to see me as online and invite me to a game. i can not see him and he wont even show up in my friends list now

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