From the Æther... Musings rescued from the void

My creativity is kind of unstoppable… So I end up writing things because I simply have to.

Rather than letting such endeavors sit in a folder on my phone and never see the light of day I have decided to share them in this thread.

If you have things you have written as a simply spontaneous yet compulsory act of creative overflow please feel free to share them here.

Comments and any musings that arise from what you read are definitely welcome.

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He built over 10,000 Bridges to her heart over the course of their time together so far. For more than a decade he labored to maintain the structure that allowed them to walk together.

Every one of them was destroyed. Ice, wind, waves… fire. Fire was a popular choice towards the end. Fittingly so as ice destroyed the first few dozen. Every time the bridge lay in ruins he was baffled. In the aftermath he considered the circumstances, ran the model of reality he expected, compared the results and shook his head in confusion. To him there was no outside precedent to justify such destruction. Hundreds of times he built the bridge only for those fleeting moments when it disintegrated. Knowing full well that it wouldn’t last but rebuilding anyway… clinging to this idea that he could somehow perceive the seed of destruction and through ingenuity perseverance, stubbornness and pure grit overcome. Many times he saw that seed to Oblivion and accounted for it, and just as often it morphed into something else. To this day he never understood why. To this day it never showed its true colors.

Make no mistake, clearly he knew the bridge was not a tangible thing, that it was part of himself that he had to intentionally shape to create a pathway for affection. What he could not grasp was the form of the forces acting upon that which he made. Where were the storms coming from? Why were they so selectively destructive?

Despite the cause whenever the bridge was damaged he rebuilt. Sometimes he could use the supports. Sometimes he salvaged material. But by and large it was a ceaseless cycle of destruction. Very few Bridges lasted for more than a week. Although some lasted a few years.

You would think that he would give up and he did… many, many times…any sane person would rationalize themselves out of a never-ending struggle. But he just couldn’t say to himself that there wasn’t a love out there that wouldn’t do this and more for him. Every time he saw the cross hanging on the wall on his heart he knew that he was looking at what building bridges is really all about.

It was never so bleak as a crucifixion, and truth be told his misgivings felt downright petty compared to such sacrifice. But even now he’s looking upon the freshly strewn wreckage of yet another bridge. Swearing to his ego and pride that he’s done… that there is no way for him to build something that can endure such weather.

Years ago, he saw clearly the futility of all his efforts, not just for the bridge, but for the subtle vanishing of everything we as human beings cling to… everything that makes us feel secure. For many years he lamented at the crumbling of structure around him, his strong heart effortlessly holding back oceans of sorrow. The futility of human life and the fleeting vanity laid out in no uncertain terms.

At long last he realized the scaffolding comes down when the structure can support itself. Some of that support became an irrevocable part of him. Nay MOST of it did. Still though he thought to what end?? To what purpose?? Why should I spend my life striving just to be a cog in the gear train of a loss? His partner could not even breath the same air, for they were from COMPLETELY different worlds. Indeed they had tried over and over to cohabitate, but alas only he could adapt to her world.

Without the definite structure of other people there wasn’t a framework for him to adapt to. Human life was pretty simple but he totally lacked the skills to create and maintain such a habitat for her. Especially when she kept blowing up the link between them and heaping unnecessary emotional/ logical repairs onto his neural network.

He was born from chaos, his life was the literal remainder made manifest through odds against. By virtue of his early life he would find equilibrium in any environment, cozy or intense. Hot or cold, peaceful or war-torn. Inwardly he knew that he was a cartographer of reality itself. He had gone out into the void, faced fear and risked madness. He had passed through the abyss.

It is said that evil lurks in the dark, that it is of the void. But he knew better. Such ramblings were the voiced fear of children. He had learned there is no darkness without that is not present within. Through long hours of wrestling with himself between stars he had become intimately familiar with his own monsters. And like the legend of his namesake he knew that they were his to command.

He sought wisdom above all else, desperately searching for ideas unknown. With reckless abandon he pursued enlightenment. Seeking out impossible truths and whispered hopes of understanding. It was the only joy he knew he could consistently find throughout his life. Everything else grew stale. Everything else wrought sorrow.

It should come as no surprise that his very presence altered the space around him. Almost always he let the natural procession of reality govern the state of things, very rarely did he coerce reality into any form. But when he did, it was very deliberate and the effort appreciable to any outside observer. Despite his neutral approach to existence the weight of his life was plainly felt by those around him. He had learned to create accommodation within his sphere for others, populating reality with kindness and light-hearted character to ease the inevitable tensions between individuals. He adopted the disarming personality of an intelligent idiot. Even this was a cost-benefit choice to him, the complete fool might give him the easiest access to a clear view of the integrity in others but combating the image of that fool in their minds was tiresome. So he opted for the next best thing. I suppose it is instinctive for dangerous minds to disguise any potential threat they might represent. Though clearly that choice is a wisdom that arises after the adolescent realizes that being perceived as a potential threat makes things more difficult. He knew early on that he was dangerous. But his journey had instilled in him a deep appreciation for the rules. Not just the rules for which he could be directly punished but all rules. They all implied something and upon consideration the implications that those rules hinted at were worthy of being appreciated. Truth resonated in him like the sounding of a bell and he sought out the greatest truths he could find.

Despite the caliber of his soul she found his space maddening, devoid of form, devoid of warmth. In his mind those were things she was meant to bring forth. He was not equipped to nurture life like she was used to. Like the perplexed frustration of an inexperienced programmer with access to near infinite computing power his worth was left unknown to her. The sprawling Mansion within him a mystery, the untapped potential equally an enigma… It is fair to say that he had no idea what to do with himself. Perhaps that is the curse of the widespread and far-reaching potential that the adults in his past claimed he possesses. Perhaps it was foolish of him to cast off personal desire in pursuit of enlightenment.

Face to face he is obviously a sojourner in this world… the man who built all those bridges. He never did build one that survived, but now he doesn’t need to. His love was reborn, she has wings and an affinity for the space between stars. He still loves her mother, the woman he built all the bridges to reach. Though his days of building bridges are over for now. The angel they share takes priority and for the first time in as long as he can remember he wants to create a world… a world for her.

Maybe one day he will give bridge building another shot… but for now he has worlds to build.

He looked down at the cradled nymph in his arms… the river of her hair gently gently spilling over the boughs his arms made in a cradling embrace… she had survived the night.

Of course she had… the rules for her were different than for him… he knew that.

Glancing back at the embankment of snow that had built up around them he was reminded of last night’s folly. But seeing the curve of her slight lips, and the warm glow of the skin on her bubble nose he simply smiled…

This cold hell was clearly hers… it wasn’t always so bitter and hostile. Scanning his memory he concluded it was as uninviting of a place as he had seen in the terrestrial biome… But nevertheless she could survive here where he could not… another night like that would surely kill him…

She would freeze, become hard as granite and cold as the ice itself. It would be little more than stasis for her warm self… and the Valkyrie that woke in her place thrived these such conditions… he wondered how many warriors she had accompanied through the veil already. The thought of her glistening armor made him shudder.

He laughed out loud when he realized he was wasting precious time romanticizing her nature.

“I am such a fool!”

It irked him… that he had been so ■■■■■■■ ignorant. That he had ONCE AGAIN let his desire to help a human woman put him in a situation where his own safety was compromised. Where he couldn’t do anything to help anyone. What could he possibly do in the first place??

He chuffed like a Tiger in resignation and stood up to survey the damage…

His wings were ruined… he already knew this of course… The pain of where they had broken off wasn’t exactly something even he could block out. But looking at the wreckage of himself unceremoniously broken and discarded within that embankment of snow hurt more than the now thawing stumps they once attached to…

He had propped them up against the wind chill with his back to the angry, bitter torrent. Before losing consciousness he became peripherally aware of the snow buildup beginning to rise higher behind him…

He would have to make a fire… there was no way this without flight.

While he gathered kindling he thought back to how the spirits had laughed at his request for permission to marry a water nymph… they were clearly aware of how much like a siren his intended betrothed could be. And despite getting permission from the most high he had not received a full blessing, not to mention that he had made almost no headway into her stubborn heart. The idea of a proposal was laughable as things currently stood.

“Anything worth having isn’t going to be easy to get” he said aloud.

"Hahahaha, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger??"

“Oh, great… just what I needed, another session of being mocked by a celestial being”

Three feet away where there had been only snow a small child robed in silver hovered. His hair and feet burned endlessly with a soft blue blue flame.

"Your a fool Æther, this is going to get you killed. And it’s your own fault for being such a reckless dope and pouring yourself into loving beings that have decided to be unlovable"

"I know I’m a fool Rïzen, for being mortal and for alot of things… but I’m not going to stop trying. You already know that. Why are you here?

Don’t tell me you are just enjoying a chance to condescend and gloat… thatst’s petty and unhelpful."

"No æther… I’m here to give you a warning. There is a blizzard coming, and the odds of you being able to rekindle your life force in this reality are incalculably low. We are tired of watching you suffer for nothing and want you to return to the eternal flame."

“I’m not coming. I can’t even if I wanted to. My wings are ruined beyond repair”

"Then why are you looking for kindling to regain them? That is clearly your only option. Do you become mortal just so you can lie pointlessly to us and be a complete buffoon? It’s pathetic, you are pathetic and you need to stop wasting your precious lives with this reality."

“What difference does it make if I die here?”

"Just because you were born in the valley of death doesn’t mean that you will always know your way out when you get there young seraph, you are not the only one that has been given many mortal lives. And your final death would not be the first that entropy has claimed"

“That may be true but I am so far the only human to experience this quandary as an elevated celestial”

"You will not be able to stop the spirit she invited to protect her from returning for another night, it will return again tonight with a host of other Valkyrie… they will collectively crush your dim light and return you to your namesake…"

“So what?”

"Do you seek to martyr yourself? It will bear no fruit"

“No actually, I plan to live… or at least die trying to live”

"Your mortality does not grant your recklessness and stupidity merit. You cannot even muster the energy to rouse the Nymph… she will sleep until your flame perishes, and the Maiden you seek to save will become your grim reaper…"

“Your probably right Rïzen… and the Maiden will will almost certainly strike all memory of me from this young woman’s mind”

"If you see the futility of this branch then why do you persist??"

“Because it’s wrong, because it shouldn’t be this way… because she should have a life of joy and discovery”

"Her future is not yours to decide, and as of this moment there are no resonant bonds left between you. Her life is of her own making and choosing, there is nothing more you can do t…"

SHUT THE ■■■■ UP, I KNOW!! I know… I just can’t give up… it’s what I should do, it’s what she planned, it’s what she expects”

"THEN ACCEPT THAT YOU HAVE FAILED AT A TASK YOU WERE NEVER MEANT TO ATTEMPT"

“It’s lovely here isn’t it Rïzen… the harsh beauty of it.”

the perfect silence ended and time began again

The biting wind returned, the stinging pain of loss, the deep melancholy of being on the verge of ruin loomed anew. There was no stopping it then… their ability to calculate was perfect in every way…

He could have agreed to depart from his course and had his life force sanctified. Divinity would have restored his ability to regenerate without the need to pay the tax of entropy through the destruction of order.

Honestly what was he thinking?? What was the plan in the first place? She would survive regardless… and why should he care??

“Because I am supposed to care” he whispered as he looked up at the sky…

Looking down at her he smiled again… and he marveled at just how amazing life could be.