Admit it, all those Alf posts drove you insane and that made you like things indiscriminately. I can only hope that this will not happen to me.
Oh God, itās true! claws at eyes in self-perceiving horror
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It is okay, I forgive you.
It is all @Derchās fault. When the Revolution comes, he will be overthrown and Alf will not corrupt anyone on these forums ever again.
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We really need to do this intervention.
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I like that she calls him ā ā ā ā butt, I call my friends ā ā ā ā ass
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Derch, Iām speaking here for your friends. Your family.
You have a problem.
I think deep downā¦ you know you have a problem too.
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Only one? I thought I had many 
but alf aint one
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Derch.
Until you come to terms with it, weāre not going to be able to help you. And we want to help you. And we want you to help you.
Now, I want this to be a positive kind of help, not a negative. But for it to stay carrot and not stick, I need you to be on board. Can you be on board? Pleaseā¦ for your sake? Forā¦ for the love of god, for the sake of the children?
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Here is an alf carrot cake
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ā¦ He is more in denial than I realised.
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Fine. I didnāt want to have to do this.
Every alf earns you a dad joke.
Just remember - you did this.
you did this.
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I love dad jokes, alf was pretty much a pantless dad joke.
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Itās not an argument, Toke. Itās an intervention.
And in this situation Derch isnāt a moderator. Heās a man who needs our help.
Alf has given me nightmares since I was a wee lass.
Do you like exasperating those terrible feelings on someone? Itās likeā¦Some PTSD stuff.
Every time you post an Alf pic, remember what you are doing to me on the other side of the screen.
Remember.
donāt look at me when those Alf pics mysteriously turn into cat pics
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This will scare everyone then
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