I need some motherf****** sandals

It’s that time again, when every step I take leaves a black gooey tar stain on the floor because my current sandals are deteriorating on my feet and I’ve been too lazy to get new ones.

BUT NO MORE SAY MY GROSSED OUT NEIGHBORS I SAY!

Come on peeps, help me find some cool sandals. My budget is about 20 to 30 bucks and I’m not afraid to try horrific designs, or even go over the budget if they’re so fly I’ll die if I don’t have them.

So far I like the aesthetic of hiking sandals, they may come in handy for my long treks to the mailbox.

I like checkermarks, and racing stripes, and fiery wenches if that helps.