We all want more Battleborn in our lives. But why stop at a single MOBA/FPS fusion? It’s obvious to me that there lies great potential in Battleborn and its cast. Here’s some ideas for spin-off games that I feel could really help Battleborn branch out and conquer the pop-culture universe.
Orendi’s Tabletop Simulator
Everyone’s favourite varimorph has invited you, along with the rest of her Rogue friends, over to Casa de Orendi for a night of board games! By the time you remember that Orendi is crazy, it’s too late! She won’t let anyone leave until she has been bested in each and every board game in her collection! Defeat Orendi in Checkers, Chess, Parcheesi, and a host of other non-copyrighted and public domain games, then flee in terror as she accuses you of cheating and tries to burn you alive on your way out!
Alani and Kelvin at the Olympic Games
Move over Mario and Sonic, there’s a new set of athletes in town! Compete in both the Summer and Winter Games as your favourite Eldrid Battleborn! Hit the swimming pool with Alani or conquer the ice rinks with Kelvin! Take the gold medal in archery with Thorn! Break world records in high jump with Mellka! All while coach Boldur cheers you on and offers “helpful” advice.
But that’s not all! This game also doubles as one of those weird and/or gross surgery simulator games. Let Miko teach you about the world of sports medicine as you help them treat the torn muscles and sprained ankles sustained during the events. It’s all the fun of the Olympics without the headaches of corruption, boycotts, and doping scandals!
Peacekeeping: The Real Time Strategy Game
In this game, YOU are the commander of the UPR’s top forces. Hold back Varelsi invasions by strategically placing your forces on the ground and in space. Start your campaign on Mennek to acquire the high-flying precision of the Aviants, or on Aplia to build of a force of durable, hard hitting infantry soldiers. Then sit back and marvel at how I couldn’t think of any funny jokes or references to put in this segment of my post. Looks like someone should have played more StarCraft!
Love Letter: Last Light Consortium Edition
Seiji Kanai’s popular card game meets the Battleborn universe in the crossover that no one but me wanted! You are an average LLC employee seeking to woo the Baroness Phoebe Elizabeth Audelia Hemsworth IV. You and your opponents each wish to send her your letter of devotion, but her email is not public knowledge. Your letter must find it’s way to Nova, then make it through all of Phoebe’s associates without getting lost: her protective robot butler Marquis, her family bodyguard El Dragon, Kid Ultra, her loyal creation, the Magnus ISIC, who doesn’t believe in love, and the LLC’s leader, the cantankerous old man Kleese. Will your words find their way to the heart of the Prickly Princess?
Generic…uh…I mean Jennerit Kart Racing
Every popular franchise has a Mario Kart ripoff right? Well, here ya go. The Jennerit. Go-Karts. Special attacks. Powerups. Et cetera. For pete’s sake, what more do you people want from me?