Lore: Battleplan 33 (Oscar Mike)

Found another one that is not included in the already existing megathread. :slight_smile:


[Transcription of shipwide communications aboard the UPR ship Nova]

OSCAR MIKE: Kleese! It’s Oscar Mike here. I found this AWESOME clip of a scalewolf pup walking around like a person, and I was gonna send it to everyone as a holomail attachment, but there’s a MAJOR problem. I’ve been HACKED, bro! I can’t open my holomail stuff!

KLEESE: Oscar. I’ve told you time and again, before coming to me with every little thing, first manually induce a full capacitance flux sequence via the primary power coupling.

OSCAR MIKE: Right. Uhhhh… I got everything up until “first”, then you lost me.

KLEESE: Bottom of your station, right hand side, that is, the same side where you hold your gun, there’s a large button. Push the button, wait five seconds, then push it a second time. Off, then on again. Also, PLEASE refrain from gumming up Nova’s PA system with your inane blathering, this channel is reserved for emergency address only.

OSCAR MIKE: That’s what I’m saying, there’s an emergency with my holomail address! My contacts, my newsletters, my fact-a-day messages, this is seriously HECKED UP. I’ve been hacked to heck!

KLEESE: [prolonged audible sigh] What is your holomail address?

OSCAR MIKE: “BRO-M83.1101@rdcnet.mik”

KLEESE: Let’s have a look then, shall we?

OSCAR MIKE: It’s B-R-O –

KLEESE: – YES, yes, I get it, you’re very clever. While you were busy struggling with your spelling, I figured out your issue. You weren’t “hacked”, your account has been suspended and archived. There’s a note here, it seems that the administrator finally caught wind of your persistent violations of the “official communications only” bit of the terms of service.

OSCAR MIKE: Wrong! The only dudes with admin access are the Mike High Command, and all the other Mikes have been SUPER-gone for pretty much ever.

KLEESE: Well—

OSCAR MIKE: They’re gone and never coming back, Kleese, and you’ve gotta accept that, like I have! You’ll never see or hear from them again, no matter how close you guys were before, no matter how much fun you had shooting Varelsi faces or swapping stories or playing rock-paper-airstrike. It’s in the past! There’s no use dwelling on those guys, just appreciate the bros you’ve got, instead of crying and writing poems about bros you lost.

KLEESE: Ohhhkayyy, or, HERE’S A THOUGHT, instead of opening up WAY more than I’m comfortable with, you can submit a support ticket to contact the administrator directly.

OSCAR MIKE: …You can do that?

KLEESE: No, YOU can do that, I’m done with IT for the day. Have fun reconnecting. HA!

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