Mister torgue here!

MY NAME IS MISTER TORGUE HIGH-FIVE FLEXINGTON, AND I’M HERE TODAY TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS GUN I MADE LAST WEEK! IT SHOOTS BASEBALL BATS THAT EXPLODE TWO AND A HALF TIMES, AND 153 ROUNDS PER MINUTE!

“BUT WAIT”, I HEAR YOU ASKING, “HOW DOES IT EXPLODE TWO AND A HALF TIMES, THAT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE!”

I’M THE ONE WITH THE MOTHERF***ING BATTLING GUN HERE, I ASK THE QUESTIONS! ISN’T THAT CORRECT, BOARD OF DIRECTORS!

(sound of crying in the background)

I SAID, (a shot is fired, and 2 1/2 explosions are heard, screaming and more crying continues) ISN’T THAT RIGHT BOARD OF DIRECTORS!!

(a quiet yes is heard)

MY NAME IS MISTER TORGUE HIGH-FIVE FLEXINGTON, NEW MEGA-CEO OF TORGUE, AND I APROVE THIS MESSAGE!

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Mr Torgue:
IT IS NICE THAT YOU LIKE MY BRAND. I APPRECIATE AND STUFF , BUT I HAVE TO REBUTT YOU!
BECAUSE AT TORGUE HALF EXPLOSION DON’T EXIST! ONLY FULL EXPLOSION!
YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID!

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