Note- this is a day late, yes, but I was having technical difficulties with my AV sync for the montage at the end. -End Note
It has been one year.
One year since I first played the full retail version of Battleborn, the game I have not put down since.
But more importantly it has been one year since Deande began.
I still remember those first few games. Those games that decided the fate of who I would become for this community. Especially that one game, you were there a-train, you were there on the experiment, no less than 48 hours after launch. The game I discovered drop kick’s potential.
Back then the game was so new, and that meant drop kick was mine. Mine all mine. Whether or not others were first to realize how good it was seemed irrelevant with the lively player base. For all intensive purposes I was first, and in my own little bubble that was the spark of pride that drove me to the endless pursuit of perfecting the character I love.
Make no mistake it was just a game at first. An aggravating one at that, driving me back to the safe haven of PVE with friends. But over time it went from an interest, to a passion, to an obsession, to a love so to speak. And I don’t mean the kind of love you feel for a romantic partner, but not brotherly love either. Hell, not even like the love best friends would have for each other.
It’s some niche in-between kind of love that I can’t exactly explain or describe. But it’s no less there, and no less real.
For twelve long months I toiled at my imperfection. I hated it at times, oh so aggravating. When I forced myself into the world of PVP. I started off rough as we all do, mired in half-baked triple legendary builds, ground zero failures, and a complete lack of understanding as to how PVP worked.
But I found my way quickly. It was calculated risk that saved me. I looked at the helix for hours.
Too imperfect in my early renditions… Then I hit a burst dash, and the enemy evaporated from before my very eyes. My mouth hung open, I couldn’t get over what had just happened as I screamed it to a-train.
I never got over the beauty of that kill. The thought of erasing a single target from the field of battle without him having a chance to retaliate was exhilarating. That moment killed the passion and drove it all the way to obsession, and obsession that looked like floors and walls covering in math, the inner workings of Deande tacked anywhere I had space. If perfection was the goal I would spare no room for any modicum of incompetence. I needed to know EVERYTHING.
So I went forth.
I kept getting better and better, picking up new tidbits on my way to the top, and figuring out my own stuff. Actually, mostly figuring out my own stuff.
I worked, and wept, through the days of incompetence where I no longer wanted to play Battleborn, but Deande. Just her, the only thing that kept me coming back.
Yet forward I went and forward I still go. I met @Garrus_Sniper and @blainebrossart1 . Less misery ensued, and we had the most amazing of times together. Those two, and the rest of the Battleborn community got me back to actually playing the game and enjoying it.
Failing. But less now.
Less to the point at which I can claim competence. I can claim a little more relaxation. And I can re-claim a little bit of my life back.
But my life will not be without her until the day the servers die, I die, or the world dies. And until then, I have but one thing to say to her.
Set my heart afire.