Send Your Ridiculous Prayers to the Off Topic Section of the Gearbox Forums

Ok… so… I don’t believe in miracles… but somehow… immediately after b***hing about my login issues on http://southpark.cc.com/, my login issues immediately disappeared.

See… this…

There is ONLY one explanation.
The Off Topic section of the Gearbox Forums are actually a direct line to The Great Eagle/God/Some Other Form of Supreme Deity.
THIS IS WHERE YOU MUST GO TO HAVE YOUR PRAYERS ANSWERED… Not some church… not some holy land… RIGHT HERE.
B***H and you shall receive.
Use this section to pray to your deity of choice and let the magic and faith of the Off Topic section of the Gearbox Forums ease your frustrations.

Amen.

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We mostly worship the old gods here.

We have a thread for the somewhat old gods-


But really, mostly we mean the really old gods.

Me personally? I go for the really old gods.

Or just me.

I am the embodiment of the one true jack, you know.

They tell you that’s all based on some popular “fantasy” game but well.

Everyone in the know knows better.

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All glory to the Hypnotoad!
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Oh mighty Shai-hulud
Keeper of balance

Bless the Maker and His water
Bless the coming and going of Him
May His passage cleanse the world.

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Uh… hey there… uh… Great Eagle?
It’s me… Benedict.
Uh… listen… I know I ain’t never been much for sermons… and I don’t visit your cathedral as often as I should… and I’m kind of an a**hole… and uh… my wings… uh… ain’t what they used to be…
But… if you could find it in your heart to answer this prayer… I would sure appreciate it…

I want an XL7J6 Custom Made Glyphic Arc Annihilator with platinum wings. The platinum wings don’t just make it look cool, they let people know I mean business.

I want a Circle 7 Patented Auto-Load Hyper Launch Personal Rocket Defense System with self replicating capabilities.

I want a Mark II Omicron Inhibitor with Custom Interlaced Booty Protectors. Cuz my ass is a precious natural resource that must be preserved.

I want the endless breadsticks at the Last Star Restaurant to be TRULY endless and I want a g****mn free meal voucher that NEVER expires.

And I want a Seiki 3 Aperture XL Camera with custom Verilock 5D lenses so people can experience my glorious body like they’ve never seen it before…

I NEED this stuff… like seriously…

Naw, naw. I’m kiddin’. I don’t need any of that stuff. Just thought y’all might appreciate a good laugh. Look. I ain’t dumb. I know this thread is bulls**t. I was just tryin’ to have a little fun. I like makin’ jokes…



Ok… I decided to take a coffee break before writing this part of the post. That was stupid… I gave myself time to think about it. I hate it when I do that. I always say dumb sh*t when I do that. But… frell… now I can’t get it off my mind. So here we go… Benedict’s gonna say somethin’ stupid because he thought about his stupid joke a little too much stupidly… ugh…

Here goes…
So… it’d be the ultimate irony, right… if The Great Eagle was really payin’ attention to my stupid comments and all I did was make jokes? Yeah. Yeah that’d look real good. I’m makin’ jokes about the Great Eagle and then it turns out he’s real and all I did was joke about it…

Ugh… I can’t believe I’m gonna do this… this… this is so dumb…
Don’t laugh at this part a**holes…

Uh…

Great Eagle… if you’re there…

Actually… f*** I’m gonna blur this out. Don’t read this. This is just me bein’ dumb…

[spoiler]Hey… Great Eagle… listen… I know this is an off chance… but if you’re really up there… It’s probably against the rules to bring back the dead. Or to… you know… let me talk to 'em. But… uh… if you could just… just tell 'em I said “hi” and I miss 'em. That’d be awesome.

You know who I mean.[/spoiler]

Ugh… I can’t believe I wrote that. This is just a silly thread. Ain’t no Great Eagle, ain’t none of that real. Lemme get back to my wish list…

I want a Pi Tech Selemethium C Rocket Cascade Platform… MODEL 54J… not that 54H crap…

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ALL HAIL ALL MIGHTY KALROS. HAIL HER!

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No god can compete with Cthulhu.

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.

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Old news. Us off-topicers already knew this.

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I pray to the Void before creation that my nephew has a good soccer game :imp:

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Edited for truth.
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Off topic is powered by cat pics and lightsabers.

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Oh hey dad.

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One moment please…

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Pray to the off topic section? Naaaaaah. I’ve got a direct line to any gods I need:

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Whatcha bu- drinking?

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Stranger, Stranger… Now THAT’S a wea- Drink.

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Also, you should all be worshipping:

Or do you not want to go to Valhalla, shiny and chrome?

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Remember me.

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I’ll remember YOU, if you’ll witness ME:
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Also, Immortun Joe was a PROPHET, and last time i checked, they can die, haha.
-reads Christian Bible-
Yep.
-gives thumbs up-

EDIT: -reads Norse mythology-
Gods too, apparently… ALL HAIL THE IMMORTUN JOE!!

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