Simple Battleborn Role Play Thread


(Touched MCHammer) #182

Attikus:
I’ve got to stay calm…

Ah f**k it,
Hedronic Charge Activates
BETTER START RUNNING KID!


(Super Badass Constructor ) #183

The kid replies by roaring back, raining spittle all over Atticus’ face…


(Touched MCHammer) #184

Attikus roars again even louder


(Super Badass Constructor ) #185

The anger in the raging kids eyes suddenly dissipates. The angry red glow fades as the kids eyes widen in fear. With his jaw still fully distended, the roar transitions into a fearful squeak, followed by a loud plop as the kids bowels empty onto the floor…


(Cast Iron Chef) #186

Several child-sized mops and buckets appear in Attikus’ hands and at his feet. He hands them out to the gaping kids. “Okay, kids. Today’s lesson is about personal hygiene and cleaning up after yourselves.” He glowers at them. “Now snap to it!”


(Super Badass Constructor ) #187

A nearby Janitor lets out a sigh of relief upon seeing that he doesn’t have to clean THAT up


(Touched MCHammer) #188

Attikus:
We have a janitor? Whatever, it’s not his turn to clean it’s yours.

Attikus leans closer to the kids
Get started.


(Not a "Li'l Assbirb!") #189

Toby shows up, dressed as Deande and reeking of kipper vodka.

TOBY (mimicking Deande):
I DO THIS FOR SOLUS!!

Toby begins to twirl like Wonder Woman.

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(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #190

Benedict holds out a foot under Toby’s talons in mid twirl.


(Not a "Li'l Assbirb!") #191

Toby trips over Benedict’s foot and falls into his arms.

TOBY (still as Deande):
WHISKEY, MY HERO!!


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #192

Benedict leans down and pecks… him? Her? Damn… friggin’… gender identity pronouns… dammit… pecks Toby on the cheek.

Guess again sweetheart. Now what did we learn?


(Super Badass Constructor ) #193

An LLC Tabloid-0-paporatz-0 bot runs in with cameras blazing

OH YES, YES, HOLD THAT POSE YOU TWO LOVE BIRDS YOU! OOOOH THE DIRT, SO MUCH DIRT! DO.NOT.STOP.


(Not a "Li'l Assbirb!") #194

Toby pecks Benedict back on the cheek.

TOBY (drunkenly):
What love is…?


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #195

Benedict enters from the lounge and stares at Benedict.

BENEDICT:
BENEDICT! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

BENEDICT:
WE’RE IN LOVE! AN’ WE’RE GONNA RUN AWAY TO THE ALPIAN MOUNTAINS TO BECOME PROFESSIONAL YODELERS!!!

BENEDICT:
BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?

Benedict enters from the bathroom.

BENEDICT:
And me?

BENEDICT:
Hell naw! What we had weren’t nothin’ special!

BENEDICT:
But ya said we’d be together forever!

BENEDICT:
I said lots of things to lots of people, but I only had eyes for one.

He embraces Toby. Benedict begins sobbing. Benedict pulls out a rocket launcher and shoots himself. Benedict enters.

BENEDICT:
?no gniog si kcuf eht tahW

Benedict begins violently shaking Toby.

BENEDICT:
TOBY! TOBY! SNAP OUT OF IT, MAN! TOBY, YER DRUNK! C’MON MAN!!NAM NOM’C !KNURD REY ,YBOT !NAM ,TI FO TUO PANS !YBOT !YBOT

A flying purple unicorn enters and tips it’s cap to Toby.


(Not a "Li'l Assbirb!") #196

Toby enters the room with a cup of coffee, which he drops when he sees “himself” making out with one of five different Benedicts.

TOBY (furious):
DAMN IT, BEATRIX!! I SAID YOU COULDN’T USE MY DNA FOR YOUR WEIRD JENNERIT LOVE ROMANCE!!

AND YOU STOLE MY VODKA TOO?!


(Super Badass Constructor ) #197

Tabloid-0-paporatz-0 bot’s processors overclock as it processes and captures ALL.THIS.PAYDIRT. on film and memory banks. This has to be the BEST sleeze about the Battleborn it has ever captured. Hell, it beats the DRAMATIC aftermath of Taco Tuesdays’ public washroom after Attikus ate two MEG-O-COMBOS by TENFOLD…


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #198

Triggered.

You’re enters flanked by Your and Yore.

YOU’RE:
It looks like you’re having difference telling the trouble between its, it’s and blueberry muffins!

Squirt enters.

SQUIRT:
Ahahahahahaha… I can show up here 'cuz this here sequence don’t have to make no goddamn sense. SOMBREROS FOR ALL!!!


(Super Badass Constructor ) #199

Oh no… this is all so getting… ILLOGICAL… Tabloid-0-paporatz-0 bot just can’t handle WTF IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW… It started out with that BEUTIFULLL SLEEZY MOMENT BETWEEN TOBY AND BENEDICT, AND THEN… WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON?

Orendi bounds into the room

WHO SAID BLUEBERRY MUFFINS?! I BROUGHT THE BLUEBEWRRIES!

she has handfulls of some slate grey goo of unknown origin…


(Not a "Li'l Assbirb!") #200

Toby takes one and puts it on.

TOBY:
I AM…

EL PENGUINO HERMOSO!!


(Super Badass Constructor ) #201

Tabloid-0-paporatz-0 bot starts to panic as it can’t remember what storage bank it left the recordings of TobyxBenedict on… OH WAIT IS THIS IS…

UGH DAMMIT, THAATS EL BUDGO AND THE … TOY FINISIC…, TOO MUCH CHAOS, CANNOT RECALL… NONONONOPNO