Simple Battleborn Role Play Thread


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #202

ISIC’s head pops into frame.

ISIC:
I just broke reality, bitches! Gosh golly, I’m just getting into all kinds of mischief.


(Super Badass Constructor ) #203

Orendi smears the slate grey goo of unknown origin all over ISIC’s grinning skull face and screams

DING DONG MUFFINS ARE READY!


(Not a "Li'l Assbirb!") #204

TACO TOBY:
DOMO ARIGATO, SENOR ROBOTO!!

Toby starts throwing exploding tacos at ISIC.


(Super Badass Constructor ) #205

Orendi screams upon seeing the Tacos exploding majestically over ISIC’s soiled skullface

YES, YES, THAT’S WHY I LOVE TOBY, HE KNOW HOW TO BAKE THE CAKE!

She then runs at Toby with all 4 of her arms extended, wanting love and affection with teeth bared in a manic smile


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #206

Cut to Shayne in Whiskey Foxtrot cosplay with a large group of other cosplayers glaring at ISIC in Ernest cosplay and Orendi in Benedict cosplay.

SHAYNE:
Guys, if you’re not gonna follow the rules, we’re not gonna let you play anymore.

ISIC:
Ahahaha! Ahahahahahahahaha! ■■■■ your rules! I’m having fun!

ORENDI:
GIMME SMOOCHES LOVER!!!

SHAYNE:
TOBY, STOP ENCOURAGING HER!!!

Shayne is met with a chalupa to the face.

ISIC:
Oh dear… it looks like some unfortunate role player didn’t put up her level 48 culinary defensive shield! Oh well! I roll a 47 and now the mission is a DISCO PARTY!!!


(Super Badass Constructor ) #207

Disco… party… DISCO… PARTY. The randomness is TOO MUCH. Tabloid-0-paporatz-0 bot finds a file that seems to be an aviant disco party mating ritual…

NO THATS NOT THE TOBYXBENEDICT FILE STILL ARGHH


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #208

BENEDICT:
Aw s**t y’all!!! I just managed to infuse the delightful taste of pineapple with the heavenly taste of bacon!

PHOEBE:
BENEDICT, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY LAB???


(Super Badass Constructor ) #209

Orendi suddenly backflips into the room, grabs the abominable bacon/pineapple fusion, then nullifies out of the room screaming

ORENDI HAS KEY TO DESTROY ALL PIZZAS!


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #210

Benedict’s eyes go wide.

You can put pineapple on pizza?


(Cast Iron Chef) #211

Chef Mike pops in. “Oh yeah, bro! You can put anything on pizza, even those little fish that are crammed into those small tins! Oh, and sardines too, bro!”


(Not a "Li'l Assbirb!") #212

Toby waddle-runs into the room.

WHO SAID “ANCHOVIES”?!


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #213

NO ONE SAID ANCHOVIES, TOBY! THE MAN SAID SARDINES!!! AN’ I AIN’T LOOKIN’ TO EAT NO DAMN SEAFOOD PIZZA!!! I JUST WANT A PINEAPPLE BACON PIZZA WITH… man what compliments that? I like pistachios, but I don’t know if I want 'em on a…

Snaps talons.

WALNUTS!!! Pineapple bacon walnut pizza. Boom. Breakfast of champions.


(Not a "Li'l Assbirb!") #214

Toby pulls out Reyna’s plasma pistol and aims it at Benedict, his eye twitching and his flippers shaking.

(Hysterical):
WHERE ARE THE ANCHOVIES, BENEDICT…?!


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #215

Benedict levels his rocket launcher at Toby.

THERE ARE NO ANCHOVIES ■■■■■■■!!! NO ONE SAID “ANCHOVIES!” IT WAS
“SARDINES!”


(Not a "Li'l Assbirb!") #216

Toby hyperventilates angrily, then drops Reyna’s gun and falls on his tail-feathers, sobbing hysterically.


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #217

Benedict shoots Toby anyway. He respawns.

We’re not even. That’s for what ya did two weeks ago at 3:24 AM.
YES, I KNOW TOBY!!!


(Not a "Li'l Assbirb!") #218

Uh… Yeah… You told me you liked how i looked in it… Why are we bringing this up in public?


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #219

What? Wait, is today Saturday or Sunday? ■■■■!!! Naw, naw, we ain’t gonna talk about what happened last Saturday mornin’! I meant Sunday. Ain’t nobody needs to know what you, me, an’ Ernest do on Saturdays! I got a reputation to maintain dammit!


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #220

Oh goodness gracious everyone!
How are you all doing today?
My, it certainly is a lovely morning isn’t it? Just a perfect time for picnics! And dancing! And—


BENEDICT:
G----MMIT ALANI!!! MAKE YER OWN ACCOUNT IF YA WANNA POST THIS CRAP!!!


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #221

Uh… ignore that last post everybody. Sorry about that. That was just Benedict. He’s a big jerk! Anyway, I’d like to talk to everyone about rainbows! Aren’t they amazing? When I first saw one on dry land, I was all like… WOW! I mean… when I came up to dry land… from the void sap pits. They’re super wet all the time… and…


Aw no! A cute ass squirrel is runnin’ by! Looks like I need to rip its face off with my gigantic teeth!


NOOOOOOO!!! That is NOT what I’m going to do because I’m a vegetarian!


A baaaaaaaddddd vegetarian, y’all. A vegetarian who hungers for the taste of fresh… warm… BLOOD!!!


OH MY GOD, SHUT-UP!!!


SQUIRRELS!!! THE WALKIN’ VEGETABLES OF THE FOREST!!!


I AM NOT GOING TO GO AND EAT SQUIRRELS!!! I AM A CALM AND PEACEFUL SOUL WHO LIKES LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH, AND DOGGIE PADDLING IN THE OCEAN WITH MY GOOD FRIEND, ALANI!!!


Until midnight comes… an’ the demonic changes begin…


Oh, can’t you just leave me alone?