Simple Battleborn Role Play Thread


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #102

NOVA:
It is both stupid and weird. YES! Inb4 Benedict. Win.


(Junk Male ) #103

Ernest: Nova, quit tryna be a meme. Memes are born, not made.


(Not a "Li'l Assbirb!") #104

(teary-eyed):
N-Nova…! What the HELL!!


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #105

NOVA:
One does not simply TRY to be a meme. Be… or be not. There is no do. Hey… can someone help make a gif of me appearing as a ghost at the end of Space Wars VI: Return of the Revengebot’s Revenge? My LLC protocols prevent me from infringing upon intellectual property rights.

BENEDICT:
Hear that y’all? INTELLECTUAL property rights. I told y’all Space Wars had some complex thematic sh*t goin’ on in it.


(Junk Male ) #106

Ernest: Try harder, you must. Work sub protocol, you should.


(Cast Iron Chef) #107

Thorn storms up to Ernest in his deck chair, slaps him so hard he flies out of it, then storms out of the room without saying a word.


(Super Badass Constructor ) #108

The eccentric Blade Bot notices how distracted the little bird is, and winds itself up with more kick ass karate moves. A gameboy-beepy-warcry rings out as it leaps into the air, targeting that adorable little head poof atop the little birds head…


(Natsume Ryu) #109

A second blade bot (white color) comes running into the room at break neck speed, tripping shortly after entering. It skids across the floor faceplate-down, ending the skid with a little twirl. As it lays helplessly, it kicks its tiny pedes in fruitless effort, appearantly not realizing it had tipped over.


(Cast Iron Chef) #110

Mike wanders in and sees the bot struggling on the floor. “Bro! Is that like a new dance move? I can do that!” He flops down besides the bot and mimics its moves.


(Not a "Li'l Assbirb!") #111

Time seems to slow as Toby lowers his porno magazine and sees the earlier minion bot flying at him in the bot equivalent of a flying ninja kick. Without taking the time he doesn’t have to think of what to do, Toby’s instincts kick in, and he begins using the one defense Finisci have against their natural predators: Cuteness.

TB1_2

A moment later, the blade minion slams into him, and they both roll across the ground.


(Super Badass Constructor ) #112

The Blade Bot jumps right back onto its tiny little legs with a sick-ass ninja backflip. It looks around frantically, making little chattering noises until it relocates its previous target: THE FEATHERY FINISCI HEAD POOF

Raising up its deadly little arm blades, the crazy contraption warms up with another set of mighty sick karate moves, before locking onto that poofy floofy target and lunging at it again


(Not a "Li'l Assbirb!") #113

This time, Toby is ready, and assumes his “flipper-fist” stance. Just before he too is about to launch into the air to meet his opponent, Rath appears out of seemingly nowhere, and bats the bot away with Precept. He then turns to Toby…

RATH:
I am sustained…!

TOBY:
NO ONE CARES, RATH!! NO. ONE. CARES!!

Uh… Thanks though… Sorry…


(Super Badass Constructor ) #114

The energetic construct slams into a nearby wall. It doesn’t right itself in an impressive martial arts display this time. It seems like the impact jarred the little things electronic brain…

NO. NO. NO. NO. THE BLASPHEMOUS POOF MUST BE SEVERED FROM THE CRANIUM OF THAT FINISCI. IT TAUNTS IT. IT TAUNTS ME SO. IT MUST DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE…

And so on and so on as the little bots CPU gets stuck in an endless loop of death threats. As it sits there, its tiny little speaker also beeps in a repeated phrase that sounds like DIE.


(Not a "Li'l Assbirb!") #115

Toby runs over and drops to his knees beside the little bot, and begins tearing up. He didn’t want this… He didn’t want ANY of this! WHY MUST ARTIFICIAL LIFE BE SO CRUEL?!

Toby bows his head in solemn silence as he pays his respects, leaving his head-poof undefended…


(Super Badass Constructor ) #116

The poor little Blade Bot struggles to function as the endless loop of DIE intensifies. It’s little eye opens wide to the sight of that foul-foul-flooff-poofy that mocks it so… It struggles to send commands to its weaponized arms to sever that damned feathery mass, yet everything fades to … DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIIIIEEEEreeee333333eeeerrrERRORSTACKOVERFLOW

The tiny weapon of mass choppining starts to spark and smoke, violently twitching before falling over lifeless…


(Not a "Li'l Assbirb!") #117

Toby sobs and then raises his head and flippers to the sky.

STEEEEEELAAAAAAA!!


(Cast Iron Chef) #118

Mike drops besides Toby and mimics his actions.

“STEVE!!!”


(Not a "Li'l Assbirb!") #119

Toby scowls at Oscar Mike, then stabs a flipper at him.

DID YOU DRINK MY CHOCOLATE MILK IN THE FRIDGE AGAIN?! IT SAID “TOBY” ON IT!


(Magnus Whisperer || ISIC's s.o.) #120

Accompanied with a mic feedback screech, a pleasant voice comes out of the PA system.

Howdy fellas! This is a friendly reminder that your L.L.C. Minion Printer credits are running dangerously low so maybe stop wrecking them, or better yet, get more credits! And we don’t want you to run out, you don’t want to run out! As such, you should renew your subscriptions as soon as possible, or I will personally come collect the payment directly from your kneecaps.


(Not a "Li'l Assbirb!") #121

Toby waddles up to Reyna with a Valentine’s Day card, and holds it out to her while blushing crimson.

I-I, umm… I-I, ohh… U-Uhh…

Toby drops the card on the floor and belly-slides away in embarrassment.

H-H-Happy Valentine’s Day, b-boss…! SORRY!!