Simple Battleborn Role Play Thread


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #142

While Kid Ultra has been reminiscing, he has completely failed to notice that both Miko and Shayne have run off back to the shuttle and are now leaving the planetoid without him.

MIKO:
It is in a flashback loop… now may be our only chance!

SHAYNE:
Approaching thermosphere.

AUROX: (Over the comm)
HEY ■■■■■■■■!!! YOU LEFT ME BEHIND!!!

Miko grabs the controls.

MIKO:
Leave him. He is gone.


(Touched MCHammer) #143

Kid Ultra snaps out of it

HEY WAIT FOR ME AND THE ROCK MONSTER!

He transforms into a happy missile and rams the ship at full speed

HERE’S KID ULTRA!


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #144

MIKO:
Evasive maneuvers!

Miko jerks the controls to the right and crashes the shuttle right into some space debris. A fiery explosion ensues. Miko and Shayne respawn back on the planet’s surface in front of an aggravated looking Aurox.

SHAYNE:
Hey, fungus, maybe next time let the trained pilot pilot the ship, huh?

MIKO:
We thought we were performing an Immelman.

AUROX:
PERMISSION TO KILL THE HEALER?

SHAYNE:
No, no…

She sees Kid Ultra approaching.

SHAYNE:
Oh, THAT healer… FIRE AT WILL!!!


(Touched MCHammer) #145

Kid Ultra:

SOMEONE IS GETTING NURTURED WETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT!


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #146

Miko runs to the local produce stand, wraps a large, round, heavy blue fruit in a blanket and throws it into the air.

MIKO:
OH DEAR! LOOK! THAT SMALL INFANT IS IN DANGER! WHO COULD POSSIBLY RESCUE IT?


(Touched MCHammer) #147

Kid Ultra

THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FO-

Kid Ultra is suddenly cut off by Marquis shooting the fruit

Marquis:
TAKE THAT FILTHY HOBO BABY!

Kid Ultra changes course to instead ram Marquis at full speed

Kid Ultra:

I’M SORRY FOR WHAT IS ABOUT TO COME MY OLD FRIEND!


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #148

Benedict, who is now on the planetoid with absolutely no explanation given as to how he got there, grabs the camera and shouts into it.

BENEDICT:
THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID Y’ALL!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…

He releases the camera and just as quickly disappears, allowing the spectacle to continue.


(Touched MCHammer) #149

Kid Ultra:
HOW COULD YOU!

FURIOUS SCREAMING!


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #150

MIKO:
Did the robot child just shout “furious screaming?”

SHAYNE:
Yeah. It’s what he says instead of swear words.

MIKO:
Thank the darkness we do not suffer from the same affliction. ■■■■, red, red red, ■■■■ ■■■■ red, ■■■■, ■■■■, red red red, ■■■■, brown, ■■■■ ■■■■ ■■■■.


(Touched MCHammer) #151

Attikus: You all do realize that we’re here to sign autographs for orphans right?

Watch your profanity.


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #152

MIKO:
We thought we were here to kill a thrall beast commander and detonate a dangerous weapons manufacturing plant.

A large explosion in the distance as the orphanage detonates.


(Touched MCHammer) #153

That was the headmistress.

What the hell!

Alright all of you get back on the ship!


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #154

MIKO:
Attikus. We are sorry. We were led astray… by HER!

SHAYNE:
What?

MIKO:
We said something did not feel right… but SHE told us all thrall are smelly monsters that NEED to be eliminated!

SHAYNE:
I DID NOT!!! WHAT THE…

MIKO:
She requires a lecture on interspecies sensitivity!


(Touched MCHammer) #155

Attikus:
I’m giving you both a lesson in interspecies sensitivity!

Hedronic Charge Activates

Stay still it’s only going to hurt alot!


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #156

A large group of thrall children suddenly come running up the street shouting Miko’s name. They surround the healer and Shayne.

THRALL CHILDREN:
THANK YOU MIKO! SHE WAS AN EVIL RENDAIN LOYALIST WHO WAS GOING TO USE MIND CONTROL ON US TO GET US TO GO TO WAR!

MIKO:
Er… uh… YES! Listen to the small ones! They are correct! We liberated them from an evil headmistress…

THRALL CHILD:
And you killed that a**hole Stevie! He NEVER shared his chocolate milk at lunch!

MIKO:
Yes… er… uh… truly a crime worthy of death…


(Touched MCHammer) #157

Attikus puts down his fist
What? Really!

You’ve never had chocolate milk made on tempest before Miko, trust me it is a punishment worthy of death.


(Super Badass Constructor ) #158

Meanwhile, the V-Day Boom Bots all sulk in random corners of Nova, for no one is around for their boundless explosive love…


(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #159

Oscar Mike decloaks.

OSCAR MIKE:
FINALLY! I CAN WRITE IN MY DIARY IN PEACE NOW THAT NO ONE’S AROUND!


(Super Badass Constructor ) #160

Oscar Mikes excited voice echos down the sleepy hallways of Nova, rousing the Boom Bot’s out of their deep depression. It only took a few milliseconds for them to change their moods to pure excitement. Their tiny little legs kick into overdrive as they excitedly beep and boop towards their newfound love-target…


(Augustus Benedict) #161

Incidentally. One time I was playing Alani with @RAMBO-MED as kid ultra on monuments, I used riptide while he was in ult. Legit yelling “quick kid ultra let’s get out of here!” And flung him across the map.