Single Parent and dealing with your Ex

This is a constant struggle for me. I’m a single Parent with a young Son to raise. He lives with me. and pay for most things for him. I cover his medical/dental insurance. I get him ready for school M-F and he gets the weekends with his Mother.

She has already filed for Child Support(admittedly out of spite) she did not pursue it so it dropped off. Yet, while it was going on she lied straight to my face about it. she played dumb acting like she new nothing about it. :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

Now, I’m slapped with another Child Support case she decided to open up again. I get to appear this Friday as I got a notice in the mail.

This crap affects my daily life…it stresses me out. I get anxiety of this ■■■■.

I struggle…

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I’m pretty sure I’m not alone with this scenario. Others struggle in dealing with their Ex…

feel free to purge some stress and vent here. That is why I created this. I need to let it out!

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My dad has had major issues with child support. Lady didn’t even tell him about the kid until the kid was 13

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that is just wrong.

My suspicion is that your Dad was notified when “She” needed $. Otherwise, he may have never known which is a shame. I love being a Dad by the way. :blush:

Edit: I’d like to point out I’m not creating this thread to bash my Ex. Its more of a stress relief for me to get things off my chest, so-to-speak.

It truly is a constant struggle…

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I imagine. I don’t have any real experience, but my pm is always open

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Thanks dude. I appreciate that. That is exactly how @thebigguy79 and I became friends. He was more than supportive while I was going through the break up. dark times indeed, but he was a huge help and I owe him more than a debt of gratitude. I owe him an awesome co-op session if it ever happens. :innocent:

hint hint, wink wink :wink:

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Still no internets around my way brotha, although my hotspot on my phone is just good enough I’ve been playing Diablo3 seasons on my PS4… When I have a decent signal my friends and I can at least play together. And I’m always around for anyone that needs to talk. Seen a lot, been through a lot, and overcame a lot, and always willing to listen if need be.

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I don’t really have any of that going on, but I am helping raise my nephew. His father isn’t part of the picture and his mom is kind of a mess, so the rest of us (my wife, mother in law, my mom, and myself) do everything we can so he can be happy. It’s a tough nut to crack, and it always breaks my heart to see him treated as leverage against his mom. It is total balls that you have to deal with this, but you are doing great (I can tell because he looks so happy in all of your pics and vids :grinning:). I know I can’t do much from the east coast, but whatever I can do you are welcome to.

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How is SHE hitting YOU with child support? You’d think the court would throw that out the first time. Though it does happen…

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I’ve mentioned it in another thread or two, but my brother has been going through some similar issues. He’s not single (technically) but… the last few months have been rough.

His ex wife is… maybe the worst person I know. Without getting into too much detail she’s a garbage person that barely provides for the kids but gets them for most of the year down in Florida. She’s managed to piss off all her friends down there so now she wants to go to CA.

A few months back, she started a case to modify their original child support agreement that they hammered out when she left. The judge… originally ruled in her favor and put a fairly large hold on my brothers income to the point he was only making about 800 dollars a month. That got overturned last month, but it could be up to 2-3 months before the change gets reverted. This is on top the problems with his current wife. Her daughter (24) was in a bad accident last year and severed her spine. Her mom has been spending all of her time with her for the obvious reasons, but it’s taking a toll on… pretty much everything. The reversal is the best news he’s heard in awhile, but the ex is still raging like the demon ■■■■ she is.

It’s rough, for sure. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

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This is most of my frustration right here. You’d think they’d get a clue as the court paperwork shows he lives with me. I don’t get it. But here I am. I’ll do what I have too, he’s the most important aspect of this. And my life, for that matter. :innocent:

I appreciate the kind words and support. I went back and forth on posting something like this for a long time. My inspiration was @FlamesForAll :blush:

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Whoa! This puts things in perspective as far as where I’m at mentally. “Things could be worse” and I’m really sorry about the daughter having an accident and what seems like the Shaft your brother was dealing with. Glad that is over turned and I’m hoping for something close to that as far as my outcome with this debacle. :persevere:

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Sorry for being so late with this Kurt. I don’t frequent the Off-Topic section very often and I saw it only yesterday. It’s not the kind of thread that I feel ok about just whipping off some platitude on my phone - it requires some thought and an actual keyboard.

It’s awful to hear about this kind of petty selfish behaviour. That’s the kind of thing I dislike most in people - that they feel they are entitled to consider themselves superior to others and that it’s ok to treat other people like ■■■■.

I’d like to say I can relate - but I really can’t. My wife and I are in the beginning stages of splitting up - after 18 years, we’ve both agreed that things have been more or less indifferent. The irony is that since we had The Talk, we’ve been really happy together. Even though we’re planning on separating, we’ve been spending a lot of quality time together. I basically attribute this to the fact that we were able to have an adult conversation about our feelings , concerns , wants , etc. - and came out of that with renewed respect for each other.

How does this help? I don’t have a clue. Maybe it’s the opposite of help.

I just hope your ex realizes at some point that the kids suffer as much as anyone when one parent is trying to pit them against the other ( maybe not directly in your case, but at least indirectly ) ; but again, that’s the kind of bullsh*t behaviour that some people seem to think makes them feel better about themselves.

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I’m sorry to hear that Jefe. That is a lot of time. 18 years?! What about your kids(your dogs)? you have some gorgeous K9’s and I know your wife is a trainer. That must be rough. :cry:

PM me if you need a ear to chew on. I’ve been through a horrible break up and have a lovely lady that I fell in love with after being on my own for a bit. When door closes, a window opens - kinda thing. :wink:

So, I had my appointment with Child Support Services and they already had the paperwork drawn up and I was apparently going to be giving her $835 a month?! :anguished:

I don’t have that kinda free cash on a monthly basis, I would end up losing my home. :cold_sweat:

Lucky for me, I brought my court paperwork showing my Son lives with me Sunday through Friday. She has him Friday night till Sunday morning. Once they saw that, they said we’re going to drop this. and please call this fraud hotline and report this. :unamused: which I did. about to email my paperwork to the investigator I spoke with on Friday. Thank goodness this is being dropped. She has been collecting money from this apparently, and she’s gonna get in trouble from what is seems like. :innocent:

OK @Jefe
image
any time now. :rofl:

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Glad things are getting better for you kurt. Can’t believe they didn’t bother to find out that your son lives with you

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Damn that’s crazy news. $835?? That kind of crap happens all the time though.

There was a guy in Victoria a few years ago that dressed up like Superman and would hang out at a major intersection trying to bring awareness to the fact that the courts seem to think men are far more financially responsible in a divorce than women. And that you have to be Superman to be able to support two homes.

On my front, I’m okay with it. We are both very independent people and got married more out of convenience. Very long story short : we met here when she was visiting from Denmark. A year later we got married partly because we were in love ; partly to get her citizenship ( she always wanted to live around here ). And that’s kind of the way things went from there.

It’s been mostly good , partly bad but more than anything it’s been routine. So I’m sure we’ll both be happy for a change.

Losing the dog ( we just have the one now ) will be tough, but I’d still see them.

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Thanks Pie. you have no idea the amount of weight that left my shoulders that day. I told my lady(she’s by my side thru all of this - she’s amazing) we should go buy a lottery ticket.

that’s what everyone can’t get their minds around. myself included. Really people?! She can just walk in and say what ever she wants and they go on her word until I showed up with court documents proving otherwise. Unbelievable! :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

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yah, about that…they poor guy in the booth right beside mine. YOu can hear everything which is a shame, but he was pleading his case on how his ex has the house, the mercedes, and the kids and he is paying $750 a month. he was saying they are taking the full amount out of his account when they had agreed to 2 installments so he can still pay his bills(I can completely relate to this scenario). taking the full amount at the first of the month kills him on paying his bills that are due for that time period. that poor guy, he was almost in tears saying he’s going to loose his home. <- that would have been me if I didn’t prove my son lives with me. This crap happens all the time. a real eye opener for me. I can see where some deserve it cause they’re deadbeats and really don’t care. But then there are fathers like myself, that are fully invested and want to be there for their kids. he just wanted to see his daughter. I felt sorry for that guy.

that is good to hear. amicable is always nice when going through that.

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You are ALWAYS guilty until proven innocent. Especially if you’re a guy. I let her beat and kick and scratch the ■■■■ out of me once (not defending myself) and they still wanted to arrest me. Because it’s always the man’s fault. Somehow. My monthly chuld support would be something like 800. But we have our own way of doing it.

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Sigh. My dad just got arrested over this stuff. The worst part is It’s not even his fault, the state failed to properly update there computer records

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I am afraid of that happening to me. It is a possibility. Sorry to hear that Pie. I hope they process him out quickly. Depends on the State.