So, what kinda talking guns you want?

I want the gun called Dreadfull Judgement and it would say thing like these

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I’d love

  1. A gun that apologizes after each kill and/or inflicted status effect.
    (e.g. *sets enemy on fire “Oh crap! Uhm, drop and roll. Drop and roll!”
    *kills badass “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to. This maniac is crazy! Oh God, I’m sorry!”)

  2. A grenade that, when thrown, makes sound effects. Stuff like cheerful rollercoaster screams and whistling then exploding. Maybe, on occasion, when it explodes it’s just a voice saying “Boom” halfheartedly.

  3. A revolver that attempts to quote famous western film lines, but always screws them up or stumbles over the words.

  4. A Sniper or shotgun that meows when fired.


In in on judge dredd or anything stallone or Arnyesque!

An insane gun that shoots waffles voiced by Rikki Simons.

I want this one so bad now that I’m gonna be disappointed it isn’t in the game. Goddamnit, Jordan… You’ve ruined the game for me!

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A gun that spews taunts and insults at enemies being voiced by Gilbert Godfrey

A gun that plays kill/kill spree clips by the female announcer in the UT series

A grenade that causes continuous explosions to this song

A shotgun that shoots energy projectiles and makes fart sounds when fired. (Blame TV for having Despicable Me on at the time I wrote this)

I would love to find a SINGING gun rather than a talking one.

An smg called The Flying Dutchman. When it shoots, you just hear it go “LEEDLE LEEDLE LEEDLE LEE” and when you reload it takes a deep breath.

So you know…like the SpongeBob scene