THE ALL NEW FORUM SANITY THREAD (May contain old things)

Rage. It occurs on every forum in one form or another. Whether some-one called someone a ‘noob’, acted like they knew everything, caught someone out in a bit of a fib, mocked or ridiculed some-one’s playstyle, name-called, had a sense of humour failure, people insisting that they ‘got it from crawmerax, how dare you suggest my shredder anarchy is a modded?’ or just couldn’t wait another second for a patch, or some old game remake seems a bit meh, a spinoff looks like being slightly different, The Extra Special Limited Edition turns out to be actually ‘limited’ not ‘unlimited’, Some film prequel destroys your childhood, someone whinily whines about trolls trolling flaming flamers, RAGE HAPPENS.

This thread tries to offer alternatives. When life on the internet gets you down, just try any combination of the suggestions, written by the Borderlands Community, presented here to enhance your calmness. Or, if you suspect that a thread you are reading is about to tip over into just a verbal fist-fight, send them here, and our trained advisers will try and help*.

Remember to think positive thoughts about your fellow forum-users whilst you relax. But please- no more ragethreads, rage posts, rage-replies, ragebickering, or ragetantrums, We are all keen for borderlands to be the best it can be, so let’s be excellent to ourselves and each other.

Please feel free to add to the growing number of suggestions for how to pass this difficult time with your sanity and dignity intact.

The Big Pink List Of Extreme Joy
(Now with numbers for easy random combination selection! Enormous Gratitudes to the contributors, seriously, they gave their sanity so you could have yours. ADDED DOUBLEPLUS BONUS!!1!!!111!1!!1one!!!11!! All contributors receive a VIRTUAL SHINY GOLD MEDAL OF LOVELINESS. Ooooh! and possibly squeee!

1: play some other games.
2: Farm.
3: Roll a new toon.
4: Have a nice hot bath.
5: Go for a run or a bike ride.
6: Light candles, and incense if that’s your thing.
7: Seek the company of loved ones, or phone your relatives.
8: Watch old comedies.
9: Get to know your neighbours.
10: Masturbate furiously.
11: Take up needlepoint.
12: Make a great salad.
13: Visit the library.
14: Take heavy sedation.
15: Experiment with sodomy.
16: Try some ‘Herbal’ home remedies.
17: Get to work on time.
18: Take salsa lessons.
19: Do cartwheels in the nude.
20: Measure the friction caused from “furious masterbation”.
21: Sew.
22: Make funny faces in the mirror.
23: Refer to an Occult In-marshmallow.
24: Walk backwards.
25: Pay someone to kick you in the balls.
26: Have someone cryogenically freeze you, then thaw you out once the patch hits. Well, maybe not the 2nd part.
27: Spend quality time with your pet(s).
28: Go fishing.
29: Ask for a pay raise / promotion at work and send it via your “fax machine” at work which looks a lot like a paper shredder.
30: Find a crappy game you know you won’t like, then play that until you want to chop off your nuts, douse them in hotsauce, and feed them to a monkey. When the patch comes out, you’ll not only be happy you aren’t playing that game anymore, but Borderlands will seem an infinite number of times better in comparison. (If your game of choice is MW2, then Borderlands already is an infinite number of times better and it’s not an illusion.)
31: Take over a third world nation, make it into a mock up Pandora, and act out borderlands in real life.
32: Attempt to insult the OP in the most creative, original, and intelligent ways you can think of.
33: Cure cancer.
34: Develop zombie like virus.
35: Take on Craw using a Rider.
36: Troll a forum about trolling forums.
37: Make replicas of BL guns using chicken bones and Play-Doh.
38: Race down the street in a Gremlin shouting “Heyyyooo”.
39: Play BL while only in Cyclops zoom mode.
40: Strong arm lemonade stands and declare yourself Lemon King.
42: Find the answer to life the universe and everything.
43: Grill up some bacon without a shirt on.
44: Find Atlantis.
45: Learn to play the bassoon.
46: Start a band, get famous, make many platinum albums, get into fights over who is the leader of the band, start using LSD, and become a vegetable.
47: Punch yourself repeatedly in the face.
48: Go to an AA meeting, sit down, and crack open a beer.
49: Buy a monkey, name it Bubbles.
50: Paint your face in the vain of Mel Gibson in Braveheart. Go to a public place. Stand in the middle of said public place, and scream “FREEDOM”! Follow it up by taking your clothes off and running in circles.
51: Take a nap.
52: Pour Tabasco sauce in your eyes.
53: Go scuba diving.
54: Watch Horror movies.
55: Play Basketball.
56: Strap yourself to the front of Ken Block’s WRX STI.
57: Play the bagpipes, or the pink oboe.
58: Listen to the BeeGees.
59: Watch Gothalion on Onlive.
60: Stare at and become mesmerised by Lilith’s pixelated breasts.
61: Melt plastic soldiers with a magnifying glass and use the melted plastic to relax furiously. …
62: Watch and make new friends
63: listen to Cage The Elephant sing “Aint No Rest For The Wicked” while lighting candles and saying a little prayer.
64: Hide in the clothing racks at Walmart and randomly say to people “Buy me!”.
65: Drink lots of Maker’s Mark while farming PT2 sdu’s.
66: Go out and order yourself a bacon quadruple cheese whopper with extra extra bacon and extra extra cheese. Works even better if you’re not at Burger King.
67: When at dealing with a cashier, ask for change in pennies. Or pay in pennies.
68: Pretend to be a health inspector at a dining establishment, or osha at any workplace
69: Share an intimate meal for two.
70: Start a dodgeball game using cantaloupes.
71: Go to an empty register at a store and try to ring up customer’s purchases (make sure to swear and pick your nose frequently).
72:Try to see which of your friends can swallow sugar packets whole, the fastest.
73: Ask every large woman you see when she’s due.
74: Try to sit through an entire Bollywood movie.
75: Weave a hammock from drinking straws at local restaurants.
76: Mine rare gems in your neighbors backyard.
77: Master the art of blindfolded backwards driving.
78: Play Ninja Gaiden for NES till you can beat it w/ no lost lives.
79: Tip a cow. Milk said cow. Pour milk over cows head.
80: Impregnate every female in Fable III.
81: Learn Kung Fu: develop patience and restraint, beat up Ninjas.
82: Implode.
83: Get together with a couple friends, buy illegal weapons (rpg are customary) and a small boat, then go out and take a Carnival Cruise ship hostage.
84: Dig a fallout shelter for you, a select few chosen to repopulate the earth, and stock it full of velveta and spam.
85: Ask if the pharmacy offers free samples.
86: Meditate in the Astral Plane
87: Read ‘The Lusty Argonian Maid’, ‘Game Informers’ (esp. when on the toilet), or ‘The Blackest Arrow’. rly.
88: Get HiGH and Enjoy life. Remember dont drink and drive through T-Bone Get HIGH and Fly. (see also #16)
89: walk in to an NA meeting with a lit joint. (see also #48)
90: Create a new thread on some other forum expressing your desire for the new patch. Make sure you type it in all caps.
91: Play Sid Meier’s Alpha Centuri (see also #1)
92: Harry Potter marathon while putting up with a cockatoo
93: Send chain e-mails to ten people and have fortune smile on you. No send backs!
94: play X3 : Terran Conflict.(see also #1)
95: Evolve, godammit!
96: Play Robolution with a really low level char (~10 - 20). Its actually hard! (see also #10)
98: Playing both Serious Sam HD games (First Encounter and Second Encounter) on Mental Difficulty (see also #1)
99: read this life-affirming and inspiring thread to see what happens when people relax too hard. (see also #10)
100: Try to make a replica of Wallys monocle (Monkey Island 2). That bloke is just so gosh darn hugable!
101: Deliver justice back to a world sorely lacking it in DeathSpank. (is this refering to #10 or #1? not sure. maybe both.)
102: Go to a Botanical Garden and start yanking out flowers. When someone asks what you’re doing, tell them you’re playing real life Farmville.
103: Become naked prey for some armed-to-the-teeth hunters. Nothing like fleeing for your life for the entertainment of others in the great outdoors to calm ones mind. I advise against combining this with #10. Unless you like that sort of thing. I mean, really, really, like a lot. In a very special kind of way.
104: Explain how you feel to a melon with a hole cut in it named Randy. Works really well with #10. In another, but similar, very special kind of way.
105: Contemplate the amoral purity of the blade as it slides against your unworthy skin. Oh yes. Now. Please.
106: Play MW2 for 1 day -> go on their forums to piss n moan about patches or lack there of -> then return to Gearbox and apologize for being an impatient douche. insufficiently relaxed person.
107: Go to a convenience store and steal a candy bar, when the cops come you pull out a water gun disguised as a pistol and shout “Get 'em blood!” whilst trying to run away.This, as has been pointed out, would get you shot/arrested faster than the patch will come out. Some people might find incarceration full of opportunities to relax.
108: Get your teeth replaced with diamonds. Especially if your name is Cohen.
109: Genetically engineer a scag and play fetch with it. See also #27. wow. 27. I remember when round here were all single figures.
110: Sit the **** down and read a book or something. see also #87 for some somethings.
111: Grow a beard. Stroke pensively. If you are epic and made of win, and possibly related to Gimli, tuck it into your belt.
112: Play a browser RTS. You can hit refresh every 5 minutes and conquer people you’ve never met. Without severe dedication you’ll lose in a week, so by then the patch will be out. Oh such cruel Irony, given the update about the updated update updating.
113: Look like an Amish ginger.
114: Learn to fly. The trick is to throw yourself at the ground, and miss.
115: Make up new words and pass them off as ones that have been around forever.
116: Buy a burrito at Taco Bell, go to McDonald’s and buy a cheeseburger, wrap the burrito with the McDonald’s wrapper, put a hair in the burrito, throw a fit at the register about there being a hair in your burrito, ask for a manager and demand a refund.
117: Trying chin-waging face to face with a bearded women and see where you are looking.
118: Invent a conspiracy theory to explain the timing of the patch. Make sure you keep it a closely guarded secret. Do NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES BRING IT ANYWHERE THIS INTERNET.
119: You can’t imagine how much I mean this.
120: No, really. Just don’t. Anyway. more techniques…
121: Get to work on the Bat-Cave. Make epic crime-fighting gear out of cardboard and duct tape. Practice onomatopoeia when you hit things.
122: Neg has a lot of nice games you can try to pass time!
123: Cleanse your manly face sweater with both shampoo and conditioner.
124: Trim thoroughly(this will help it grow faster).
125: Stroke it like you have no tomorrow.
126: Pet your manly face sweater.
127: Drinking Guinness may help.
128: Row. . . Row. . . Row a boat. Gently down a stream (or any body of water most convenient)
129: Suggest a method for remaining sane before the patch comes out.
130: Wear your manly ‘mature hair’ with manly pride and enjoy the aura of wisdom and druidiness that it brings.
131: Watch any of the following geniuses and try not to laugh: Bill Hicks, George Carlin, Arj Barker, Eddie Izzard, Bill Bailey, Tim Minchin.
132: Shave your head, then get the “Konami code” tattooed there. ^ ^ v v < > < > B A
133: When at restaurant with girlfriend periodically check mirror in mens room for food particles in beard…chicks don’t dig this and you will find yourself doing #10 with nudie mag by 10:30 pm.
134: grow a beard by listening to Black Metal on repeat until you start to feel the evil brewing and then BAM a beard happens.
Or Endwell.
135: Dance the macarena until people gouge their eyes out.
136: Look for chests on top of buildings in some town near you.
137: Take swimming lessons and show up dressed like Moxxi.
138: Rollerskate in your birthday suit. see also #19.
139: Take a slingshot and shoot dimes into the air. They fly funny! Then go “Find” these dimes. Now that’s an evening of something to do.
140: go to this thread and add rules!
141: Subsection 964a: Don’t go insane, make friend with sheep in back of barn.
142: Permit long greasy beard strands to enter mouth for substitute dental floss. Chicks don’t dig this either…especially at restaurant with parents watching and spagetti on your shirt collar.
143: Wear your girlfriends panties when you visit her mum. It’s vital that you don’t do this the wrong way round and wear her mum’s panties when visiting your girlfriend. It just takes too much explaining.
144: Read anything by Robert Anton Wilson. See also #23.
145: Eat things that you are allergic to, just to see the reaction.
146: Run around in the neighborhood with a psycho mask on and yell what the psycho usually says
147: Make celery calls to your local grocery store.
148: By a bunch of clocks and throw them out the window. Then time will fly. /Bad marshmallow. gosh darn my self-imposed non-editing rules.
149: Rob a gas station for a pack of gum.
150: A penny from the take a penny thing would be cool too.
151: Join a stamp collector’s guild and use the stamps to send mail gasp
152: Walk through a toll booth on a highway.
153: Go to a mall and run in circles until you vomit or someone calls security, then run.
154: Put fake blood on yourself and crawl across the road.
155: Try to master the double jump. IRL.
156: Try to eat 100 pixi stix.
157: Chug 2 liters of soda after eating said pixi stix.
158: Market some sort of product where you work/go to school and beatdown people who don’t pay.
159: Make some new friends.
160: Take cooking lessons from Emeril Lagasse.
161: Spread rumors about your co-workers (true or made up).
162: Steal candy from a baby.
163: Start a black market for rice.
164: Do something productive. . . . . . or not.
165: Dress in a pickle costume and ruin a birthday party
166: Dress up as a gorilla and have a friend dress up as a banana, then chase your friend around the mall.
167: Rob a gun store with a pocket knife.
168: Start calling people “stinking flesh bags”
169: Hit on a nun: Be lewd, yet quote Bible verses
170: Join the Ministry of Silly Walks: Practice in public
171: Listen to some fun music.
172: Rick Roll others for the lol’z
173: Go to the mall and point your finger like a gun, “shooting” passerbys.-If for that matter, you have the gun app on the IPhone, use that.
174: Invent the Reverse Rick Roll–start that vid, then switch to something kickass in the middle.
175: Have a fling with same sex partner, or, if you’re gayness, have a fling with opposite sex partner.
176: Divorce your wife…don’t you dare cut that beard!!
177: Or don’t even bother marrying one who doesn’t like beards.
178: Shave your ass. (previously #23, but got de-bumped into the more beardy section.)
179: Go to a fat camp, stand outside eating KFC.
180: Make home made guns to practice your RL BL skills.
181: chin-wag like Scooter for a day.
182: Start a dance dance revolution to overthrow the corrupt governments of the world.
183: Run around with a BB gun shouting “The Raak Hive is coming! The Raak Hive is coming!”
184: Eat.
185: Buy a pig, name it something cool like Rupert or Hodgins (those names are already taken so be creative)
186: Watch the pig fail to swim and fly.
187: Watch the pig see the wind go by.
188: Make the pig a good household friend.
189: Don’t eat the pig.
190: Walk your cat.
191: Make money so you can fund your game addiction.
192: Skinny Dipping.
193: Do voluntary work in local hospices.
194: Teach yourself to hallucinate.
195: Watch all 348 seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, in one sitting.
196: If you must worship a deity of some kind, at least invent your own and make sure he/she/it is fun to worship, and doesn’t insist on telling you or anyone else what to do.
197: Taste your poop!!
198: Got to the store to pick up candy. . . and eggs. Enjoy your candy while you dye easter eggs. Hand out easter eggs to trick-or-treaters.
199: Watch this video.
200: Dress up as Count Chocula and crash a vamp party.
201: After dark, run down the street with a burlap sack on your head waving a chainsaw around.
202: Take the TP off houses (hey, it’s free!).
203: Paint a lovely watercolour, or sketch, of yourself (or other people) relaxing. Try to really capture the mood of the event. Post them here.
204: create an army of robotic puppies (they never suspect the cute ones)
205: Go into an elevator with a box and a ticking alarm clock in the box. Now wait. If someone asks you which floor say “I’m good”.
206: Dress like an old man and see how many places give you a senior discount.
207: Berate an inanimate object in front of random people.
208: Walk into a crowded elevator and go straight to the back. Do not turn around and stare at the wall.
209: Drive around yelling “Hey Phil!” to every guy you see. Wait for Phil to wave back.
210: Do things that you would never do and when people ask you what are you doing insist that “Variety is the spice of life”
211: Buy some ham-burgers and feed them to cows
212: Make some Bacon sammichs and feed them to pigs
213: Try to get a Dog and a Cat to make sex time to create the perfect household pet… or an abomination of god
214: re-discover AIDs
215: Go into a furniture store and flip all the tables with sudden movements while screaming in a Japanese accent “Table flipper!”
216: Rant/vent while watching the Movie Predators with people about how big the main dudes nose is, and how **** the movie is too!
217: Get all sugared up and go into comas and stuff tonight.
218: If you disagree with someone, discuss things politely, calmly, and intelligently. Don’t compare them to people with learning difficulties or Nazis, thanks.
219: Go to your local hospital psych ward and grab a small empty trash can. Get down on the floor in the main hallway with the trash can on your head. Proceed to bellycrawl down the hallway. No one will say anything to you up to this point. Now, when you know your approaching some one, clasp your hands together out in front of you with one index finger extended. Start barrel rolling across the floor while saying the words “Pew pew pew”.
220: Drive by kids or old people waiting at a bus stop: Smile and wave really big. When they start to wave back, keep the huge grin, and shift the wave to the finger. Take a picture, make a collection of “dawning horror” shots.
221: Buy a bunch of games to play while waiting for the patch to come. Discover how spoiled B-Lands has made you by realising that these new games just don’t do it for you. Thanks alot Gearbox. Now we can’t find a good game anymore!
222: Paint your face yellow and run around opening and closing your mouth and say, “waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka”. Make sure to eat all sorts of goodies, especially fruit and pills. If someone trys to stop you, turn and run but do not stop wakaing. If someone stops you say, “do do do do do” in decreasing pitch. Don’t forget to stock up on lives.
223: Build your favorite architechural marvel out of fem-care products (leaning tampon of pisa, great pad of china, space douche, Jay Leno’s chin, etc.)
224: Moon walk everywhere for an entire day (allow extra time to get where you are going)
225: Find the cure for stupidity.
226: Watch a movie and poke holes in the plot.
227: Go to the B-Lands wiki forum and proclaim to have a Sniper that shoots 1.000 rockets that each split into a dozen more rockets. Become their God. Man those guys hate GBX forums legitness don’t they? I think we have a few spies here judging from some of the posts i’ve read. Now go to wiki and bring the thunder!
228: Kick Jack Thompson in the balls. Point and laugh.
229: Destroy the current universe. Build your own from rubbish.
230: Attempt to eat your foot.
231: Call your dog over and spit at it
232: Take a moment to see whether you have the ability to turn anything into gold by looking at it menacingly
234: Eat a whole block of cheese and contemplate what you’ve just done.
235: Find a way into Mordor
236: Replace all the labels for milk at your local supermarket with the word ‘moon-juice’
237: Learn to tap-dance
238: Smash a computer then laugh as you realise you’ve broken it
239: Type google into google so many times it breaks the internet
240: Eat some glass
241: Strike up a conversation with someone in a public restroom (opposite sex restroom for greater reaction)
242: Go swimming in a public fountain.
243: Hand out diced tomatos.
244: Set traps for the mail men/women.
245: Prove that successful suicide can be done TWICE.
247: Make your own psycho mask
248: Call your dog over, but do not spit on your Dog.
249: **** in your friends’ teeth.
250: Draw a penis on every whiteboard you see.
251: Self Actualize
252: See how many times you can come.
253: See how many times you can make some-one else come.
254: Start a rumor about so & so ( some GBX dude ) said another patch is coming in the future which will “Un-scale” the game. Also there is a recall on all the DLC’s. Seems an oversight in the programming allows little men in your gaming machine to escape into our world.
255: Learn to poop standing up, then learn to poop while running.
256: grow your hair and your beard so long that you can tie them together.
257: Walk along the side of the road near where Gnawiron lives carrying a sword and freak him out when he drive home and sees you on the side of the road after thinking you might be a jogger but sees that you have a sword instead.
258: Post a photo of your back side here and ask " Does this post make my butt look big?"
259: Learn 500 ways to prepare squirrel. Ah, happy times.
260: Skydive out of a helicopter at 50 feet into pajama pants being worn by a supermodel standing in a kiddie pool with no water while blindfolded with your hands tied behind your back. (note from psychichazard: this might take a bit of practice first.)
261: Make Bladeflower Stew.
262:Make Skag Stew, Skag Sandwiches, Skag Curry, Fried Skag, Skag Benedict, Skag on a Stick, Skag Hot Dogs (Down Skag Den), Skag Burgers, Skag steak, Skag Fajitas…
263: Change your avatar a gajillion times.
264: Never change your avatar for a year.
265: Teach hampsters to sniff out explosives then patent the process and sell it to the government.
266: Grow a chia pet and give it a beard.
267: Hunt mythical creatures to sell on the black market.
268: Walk up the down escalator.
269: Write a book on common sense.
270: Follow someone around without them knowing and see how long it takes them to notice you.
271: Spin around in circles until you fall down and throw up, then get up and spin the other way.
272: Diagnose yourself with one hundred and three psychological disorders.
273: Scream to the world “Thank you world that I have a place where I can go to learn ways to calm and relax myself and be a better person on the internet, I shall have no more rage!!!”.
274: Post pictures of yourself in strange places on the internet. (NOT HERE. THNX)
275: Wear adult diapers on the outside of your trousers and go to your nearest Mcdonalds.
276: Watch your slinky go down the stairs all elegant-like … then trip it and laugh. Just hope it doesn’t break its tiny springlike legs.
277: Practice circumcisions. Fork optional. (make sure you get good at it really, really, quickly, k?) This one only just made it in; I’m against any sharp objects below the waist, esp regarding babies or kids of either gender. They can’t consent. It’s abuse. Stoppit you cranky religious types.
278: Rant about circumcision at any opportunity presented to you.
279: Cross the Line
280: During winter, go on the street, collecting snow. Then dump it all in a pile, get cups, and then start handing out free snowcones.
281: Get a job, and a life for matter.
282: Contribute to Ice Car’s excellent farming guide.
283: Get Achievements or Trophies.
284: Go on Modern Warfare 2, and start quick scoping in a public match. The worse you are at it, the better. Start gloating about how good you are at quick scoping over the mic, using bad grammar. Enjoy the results of your trolling.
285: Learn to fly.
286: Teach a cat to wall hop.
287: Find the hanging garden (note from PsychicHazard: in or near Babylon, I assume?)
288: Try this wonderful resource. marvel at things like: “Instead of giving up, give yourself a target date to assess your beard growth and decide whether you want to keep growing facial hair. It helps you stay committed to your goal.” That’s one organised beard going on right there.
289: Or here. I LITERALLY shat myself laughing at those photos. It was the deadpan titles, I think.
290: O. M. G. (You have to click that link. I promise.)
291: Become a Ghostbuster
292: Make a home made Hadron Collider in three easy steps!
293: Make soup out of wet newspaper.
294: Spam make health potions and ruin the market for them by selling them for low prices.
295: Genetically engineer a cow to give chocolate milk.
296: Manufacture “Designer” water.
297: Don’t, under any circumstances, get a corneal ulcer.
298: Visit Dacheat’s electrifyingly good guide to Shock Trooperyness
299: Shamelessly pimp your thread all over the forum. I do.
299: Wonder what the hell is going on in that .gif in Ice Car’s sig.
300: Learn to teleport.
301: Get a 6 pack.
302: Grow a tree in your bathroom.
303: Make a railgun.
304: Put a pig on an airplane and then brag to people that you got a pig to fly.
305: Grab an assault rifle and terrorize the neighborhood.
306: Make a Ghillie suit, grab a sniper rifle, and point it at random passersby while lying down in the grass.
307: Hide in your neighbor’s trash can, and then pop out when he opens it.
309: Wait for Ice Car to explain his sig, then still wonder wtf is going on in it.
310: Reminisce about Thrasher’s epic .gif that was his sig for a long time.
311: Read webpage explaining meme, fully understand, then still not understand what the black lasso/halo thing is in IceCar’s version of it.
312: Climb ladders, avoid falling barrels.
313: Go to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
314: Find out what a waltzing matilda is.
315: Teach a monkey to clean your windows.
316: Use the ~ key to give yourself 1000 acrobatics and stamina (have fun lagging).
317: Make a pot out of C4, glaze and fire.
318: Ride an Alpha Skag to the store to pick up some milk and eggs.
319: Give a mouse a cookie, buy a cat when he asks for milk.
320: Learn to control your chi and/or ki, and be able to manifest it in a visible
form, and then blow something up.
321: Ask for Chuck Norris’ signature, and have your friend roundhouse kick him
from the side, while he’s distracted.
322: Have a hand party while jogging/swimming/parachuting/performing an
exorcism/etc.(see also #10)
323: Walk upto a complete stranger and punch him 64 times times, this will net
you 520 XP.
324: Make a swing, swing back and forth, back and forth, all day until you travel back in time.
325: Stick your head in a fish bowl.
326: Write a book about procrastination, put it off for a couple days (weeks). Combine this with #10, and it’s procrastibation.
327: Ponder the mysteries of life.
328: Have a bake sale to raise funds for world domination.
329: Read Threads like this for fun.
330: Discover something that doesn’t exist.
331: Prove that proving things does nothing but prove something like proving something about proving something.
332: Hope that PsychicHazard will get his ass in hyah and update the thread. Finally. One I can legally do!!!
333: Go and the street and make a stand. Say to passerbys that you have fire an melly and you want 5 dollars if you give it to them.
334: Build a computer in minecraft!
335: Watch Phineas and Ferb.
336: Nuke a random site from orbit.
337: Do something that is definitely illegal even though there is no law specifically prohibiting it.
338: Go to a PETA meeting with a “packed lunch”. While thay preach about not eating animals, pull out some KFC, burgers, steak, and eat away. note from PH… I’m a veggie. you bastard.
339: Play hide-and-seek with a blind kid.
340: Prove that Keebler elves really exist.
341: Sing Beethoven’s Moonlight sonata.
342: Create an airship.
343: Speak in metaphors.
344: Destroy matter.
345: Run stealthily around in a forested area without a shirt, wearing a bandanna, holding a knife between your teeth.
346: Eat lots of meat. (note from PH: ****.)
347: /thread
348: Grow a beard like Gordito
349: Be Groovy.
350: Glue M&Ms to a wall.
351: Try to build a card tower in the middle of an intersection.
352: Rage…but IRONICALLY.
353: Go to a resaurant where water is free, order a glass and drink-and-dash.
354: Tell a random person they don’t exist and watch their reaction.
355: Make a pun about creative juices.
356: Ask someone if your ego makes your head look big.
357: Build a car from scratch using nothing but a toothbrush.
358: Make a giant explosion and blame it on some shady but unfortunate individuals.
359: Produce an amazing song that wins you a lot of awards, makes you rich and famous, and don’t forget who suggested the idea in the first place.
360: take a tea-bag (you know, the thing tea comes from), put it in your mouth, suck on it. nomnom.
361: Play a goth-style moxxi match with dacheat!
362: When giving directions point with four fingers.
363: Go on an Indiana Jones style adventure, with zombies. Make it half way to the hidden city, find out you forgot your zombie repellent, the girl gets eaten, the nazis get their hands on the treasure, the incoming asteroid impacts, Skynet just became self-aware, and you dropped the One Ring just outside Minas Morgul!!! and no one is filming you.
364: Remember that you only get one life, it’s short, insignificant, and means whatever the hell you


(cont) want it to. I suggest spending what time you have excellently, and leave this place brighter than it was before. Love to everyone.
365: Act as if every act is your last. One day it will be. Try to make it something you would want to be remembered for. If you combine this with #10: it’s not a bad way to go…
366: Crack open glowsticks and pour it in homestar’s Mountain Dew.
367: Walk around in a public area wearing nothing but a towel, and ask everyone you see if they know where your shampoo is.
368: Holding a picture of yourself, go from house to house asking if they have seen the cat in your picture anywhere recently.
369: At a traffic light, hop in a stopped car and ask for directions.
370: Go to a shrink and describe how you want to find your brain and just keep rambling on about unicorns and pyramids
371: Eat Fritoes whilst wondering if they are made out of actual toes.
372: Start a rave in the middle of a shopping center.
373: Play Risk with a real army.
374: have sex whit a deaf/blind girl and call her your mom while your having an orgasm.
375: go out side and pee on you naiburs naiburs dawg was barking at 6 am and i peed on it!
376: try to understand vallqr’s spelling. Then discover that he’s from the awesome place that is ICELAND!!!.
377: Climb a tree and start screaming at people walking by to get help.
378: Take long walks on the beach.
379: Frolic in all 4 inches of the Texas snow
380: Frolic in all 14(+) inches of Maryland snow…
381: Frolic in the only snow I’ve seen stick to the ground in all 18 years of me living in Texas.
382: Quit bitching about various amounts of snow in whichever godforsaken hell-hole you inhabit, okay?. Jeez, it’s just snow.
383: Back on topic: Have a bunch of people (including yourself) dress up like Grey Wardens (from Dragon Age) and have a bunch of other people dress up like the Darkspawn. Start running through the mall screaming the Blight is coming. Stop at a predesignated entrance and wait. Signal the Darkspawn to rush through said entrance and start an epic battle. When the battle is over, sit down in the food court and have tea.
384: Play far too much dragon age.
385: Continue bitching about snow, making sexual innuendos about snow measurements, and miraculously guess someone’s location by how much snow they are bitching about. Force another thread re-name.
386: Clean your beard once every other day for maximum beard growthage.
387: Show said beard off to beard-growth-challenged friends/neighbors.
388: Make a tent out of shoes.
389:Make a sculpture out of broken glass.
390: Walk on water.
391: Shovel your 4+ inches of snow wherever you live as long as you have snow.
392: Learn Icelandic. Japanese is for wimps.
393: Hijack a thread while the OP is out…
394: Dance around a bonfire chanting to pagan gods of nature and the spirits of your ancestors. (i actually do this quite a lot. seems to make much more sense than any montheistic nonsense)
395: Type when drunk/stoned, using only your nose, ***, whatever, with your eyes shut.
396: Request setting up a safety word with your line manager, to use when receiving verbal remonstrations from said idiot. I actually did this today.
397: When asked what refreshments you want at a formal meeting, ask for ‘something with a little rohypnol’. Again, guilty.
398: one word. LEEKSPIN Possibly the most effective cure for rage ever. ah, go on, combine it with #10. you know you want to.
399: while driving whit your friend drive over some buddy and then go out of your car and say that its was a dare!
400: Claim forum sanity tip number 400.
401: Wonder how long Icecar was lurking, just to get that dubious honour.
402: try to troll ice car
403: If you succeed trolling ice car you are master off all trolls (don’t try this at home folks)
404: not found.
405: Invent a perpetual motion generator.
406: watch lord of the rings trilogy with extended scenes and with commentary with actor,writers and graphic designers and then watch all making of the lord of the rings and do it in less than 24 hours. Hallucinate hobbits for days afterwards.
407: Blend Stuff
408: watch the movie ‘notebook’ without puking.
409: Go to a bank and scream “give me your money” to the bank teller then run away
410: make a signature with hidden codes like in chuck and check if some one becomes an insect (???. okay. did I get this right?)
411: jump up and down on your bed yelling there aint no rest for the wicked!
412: go dig a snow house for you sister or brother and destroy it while they are in it
413: fart in a can and give it to your mom on her birthday
414: Polish your medals.
415: ‘Polish your medals’. Amazing how some punctuation can make a simple sentence into one dripping with innuendo.
416: Balance on an egg
417: Devise a method of refining oil from old shoes.
418: Bake a newspaper.
419: Tell PH he is awesome. (I certainly won’t …)
420: Wonder how a windbreaker got its name…
421: Contemplate an apple.
422: Put saran-wrap in a doorway.
423: Tie a mouse to a cat’s tail.
424: Take an interest in politics.
425: ^Get a life.
426: Force yourself into a state of bliss, then get checked for a tumour.
427: Add a random forum member to your friends list and play games with them online.
428: Go crazy over technology that should only be used to call someone.
429: Put moar chlorine in the gene pool.
430: Plant some pretty flowers and train them to pop out of pipes and eat people.
431: Make a flashlight out of a popsicle stick and chewing gum.
432: Break the Da Vinci code…
433: Listen to some Dream Theater.
434: Eat some salt.
435: Help Ice car fill out this thread.
436: Watch random animes.
437: Make cryptic metaphors.
438: Realise that life is good.
439: play Duty Calls
440: Search “Anime Girl” on google images and count how many anime porn images come up. gosh darn you internet! shakes fist
441: Watch English dubbed hentai.
442: Try to find NSFW images in Google Image Search with SafeSearch turned up to full.
443: Mistake forum names for something you wish to discuss.
444: Bugger up this list a bit by putting something on it twice, realise you need to replace it with something, and just come up with what you are actually doing, right now. Realise that a tiny segment of your life is now part of this list, and freak out slightly. Try and work out if this will cause some fatal time paradox at some point in the future, but remember that you actually need to sleep now, which is why it went a bit weird just then.
445: Make up your own “Verbal Tic” that you say after you say every sentence… Uguu.
446: Grow a pair of wings.
447: Teach yourself to breathe water.
448: Grow pistachios.
449: Make jars.
450: Walk on lava.
451: Break your face.
452: Do something that has never been done before
453: Have an argument with a wall.
454: Convince the wall that it does not exist.
455: Learn the Unreal Engine and make user created content for borderlands.
456: Divide by Zero. Explode.
457: Alternativley, implode. We’re not sure of the physics on this one.
458: Repeatedly get into Firefight matches with people ranked Noble and Mythic who do nothing but idle at the spawn. Preemptively negative feed-back every Noble you see
459: Read the original and best Demotivators
460: go on the official forum of a game and ask for help with your pirated copy. srsly.
461: have a partner who won’t let you do bad things to ignorant people.
462: Develop a phobia of frosted treats.
463: Make a statue of a famous figure out of toenail clippings and keep it in a secret room in your home.
464: Trip the forum post flood detection.
465: Go to, and on each window, open until the universe explodes.
466: Throw a flare and then proceed to obliterate an entire crowd with a minigun as they come rushing through the burning doorway…(okay, U1, this is in a game, right? Bulletstorm, perchance?)
467: Answer your own question whilst asking the question.
468: Relax and Do Nohthing for Two Minutes. Not even move your mouse. I can’t make it. I don’t have ADD but two minutes seems to be a REALLY long time. (from PH- ahhhhh. lovely. managed it 1st time. but then I’m generally known IRL to be so relaxed that I could slip into a coma if i chilled out more. apparantly.)
469: Walk on the sun.
470: Break a shoe.
471: Eat pine shavings.
472: Drink loads of alcohol, get wasted, go outside, imagine an invisible boat on the street, start rowing… It’ll be your best experience ever!
473: Watch Bones on TV or te intarnetz.
475: Watch a bird crawl across the floor.
476: Break something and try to mend it.
477: Break a window of a door because you can not reach the only computer behind it… Afterwards take the pieces of glass out of your wrists, especially the one close to your artery…(true story from Apple-Guy again…dude, why did you need a computer that urgently?)
478: start a windows VS MacOs WAAAAAR (really regretting the no-edit policy here. Fine. They’re pretty and expensive, and break less. okay? now leave it.)
479: Master the skill of lock picking.
480: Create the next big internet meme.
481: Count ceiling tiles.
482: Go to preferences, display and check the resolution in pixels of your display, now start counting the pixels on your screen to make sure you haven’t been scammed!
483: Break into a bathroom…through the window.
484: Create a shadowy ‘spy network’ to observe the doings of other forum members.
485: treat your computer as if it’s your baby.
486: Make babies.
487: Eat your foot.
488: Invent invisible flooring.
489: Join a mariachi band.
490: Learn the art of napkin folding.
491: Develop a theory that cannot be proven or disproven. (from PH: yeah, we all know how well that turned out)
492: Win at something by losing.
493: Punch a beehive, naked.
494: Slurp a Slurpee, slurpily.
495: Poach the last egg you have.
496: Realize you’ve contributed to the extinction of your eggs, by poaching the last one you had.
497: Ride a Clydesdale down to your local Dairy Queen and make fun of everyone wearing zippers.
498: Get Drunk. Sober up. Realize everything’s real.
499: Churn butter without using cream.
500: Milk a chicken.
501: wear jeans with no zips, for that old-fangled look.
502: Dance with a polar bear riding a unicycle.
503: Grow your own continent.
504: Cross-breed a turtle and a pidgeon.
505: Invent a new letter of the alphabet.
506: Put dry ice down your pants.
507: Convince every female that the fountain of youth is in your pants.
508: Torture someone by forcing them to listen to Marlin Manson.
509: Lick an electrical outlet, twice.
510: Eat a candle. (This is from personal experience; I was 3; it’s a long story.)
511: Break a land speed record in a golf cart.
512: Train birds to carry you eliminating the need for a car.
513: Take up Sword Swallowing.
514: Drink a whole bottle of Soy Sauce.
515: Change your avatar over 9000 times.
516: Eat a lightbuld.
517: Tame the wind.
518: Walk on a cloud.
519: Probe someone’s mind with a piece of paper.
520: Slowly lose your hype about an upcoming game the more you hear about it.
521: Suddenly remember that there’s a crazy XP event you’re missing, and then remember your connection sucks too bad to be useful to the team while playing it.
522: Realize you need to go get breakfast.
523: Do your best to avoid a pointless argument.
524: Use at least 5 different weapons in a single Echo round and get at least 3 unique skillshots with each.
525: Open a can of Whoop-Ass, in your room, alone. Proceed to drink it calmly while listening to classical music.
526: Begin construction on a Halloween costume that will cost at lest $200 to complete.
527: Coin the phrase "C
nt Punt."
528: Revere the upcoming iPad 2, as it’s going to have “more operating system”! gasp (that was sarcasm, btw)
529: Discover the link between fish people and Bailey’s.
530: Eat a turdgeon. (it’s not as bad as it sounds, see 504)
531: Tell people to be hypocritical, and then don’t be hypocritical.
532: Eat some month-old yogurt without realizing it.
533: Go a full day smiling as wide as you can.
534: Make fun of a can of black beans.
535: Waltz on the moon with a celebrity you often dream about.
536: Make a submarine float in the air.
537: Make sure you do all your house jobs before the lovely lady gets home so she doesn’t mind you spending this long updating this thread.
538: Become a Play-Doh connoisseur by being able to tell the difference of flavor and texture of the various colors.
539: foolishly promise to have a turgeon in your sig.
540: Track down action figures you’ve been waiting for.
541: Try to discover a way to make your replica video game weapons real.
542: Bludgeon a troll to death with the latest Borderlands strategy guide.
543: Find a figure of Tiger Stripe Fei Yen.
544: Have a funny picture response to any post.
545: Start a gang of badass pterodactyl riders.
546: Start your own ren-fair, but use video game characters and settings as the basis.
547: Hold a full scale funeral for your dead cell phone.
548: Wear shorts for an entire snow season. (Rellik66 actually does this)
549: Discover a new kind of bread to make a pizza out of.
550: Glue broken figures back together with industrial-grade Epoxy.
551: Buy a new sketchbook dedicated to redesigning the monsters from a classic game.
552: Spend 10 minutes debating what depth of tooth you want on the paper.
553: Contemplate how awesome track lighting is.
554: Buy another sketchbook dedicated to designing the Turdgeon. (I recommend a good sturdy 2-ply. PH.)
555: realise how little you actually know about borderlands.
556: realise that you love this forum and everyone who sails in her.
557: Drop 2 cats, tied together back-to-back, from a tree and see which one lands on its feet. I predict an anti-gravity device will be formed.
558: Go to http://gosh and laugh your ass off.
559: Make a ceiling out of glass.
560: Spill cereal on your keyboard.
561: Browse this site for laughs:
562: Be glad if your phone does not have autocorrect.
563: Run a mile while swinging each arm in sync with with the corresponding leg. i.e. Swing right arm forward while right leg is forward, and same for the left side. It’s harder than it sounds.
564: Adopt and raise a cat.
565: Come-up with at least 15 terms of endearment for said cat.
566: Randomly select a text from and send it to a random number.
567: Eight Nine.
568: Construct a bunk bed out of industrial shelving.
569: Overcook your lunch because you can’t hear the timer beep from your room.
570: Waste time watching classic Doom speedruns.
571: Plant a flag and watch it grow.
572: Eat a 100 dollar bill. Do realize beforehand that this is a terrible idea.
573: Buy Pokemon White/Black Version. Subsequently get harassed for being a child for playing Pokemon, at the hands of idiot Call of Duty fanboys.
574: Make a taco milkshake.
575: Dance on top of a lamp post while wearing a bikini, top hat, and cowboy boots.
576: Create a psychotic, chainsaw bearing, blood thirsty, rabid, stuffed armadillo with bird flu in a Build-A-Bear workshop.
577: Call him Elroy.
578; Play jump-rope with a zombie.
579: Go to a masquerade without wearing a mask.
580: Go from house to house telling people you are a tax collector.
581: Mount a cannon to the roof of your car.
582: Play backgammon with a chimpanzee named Gary.
583: Join an extremist revolutionary group and take them down from the inside.
584: Remember the Turdgeon hype with fond memories.
585: watch the CAPS WIN THE DIVISION!!!(note from PH: you’re so lucky I have the ‘no edit’ policy on this one. I cannot bear sports. especially when played by millionaire semi-literate borderline rapists.)
586: Eat some pretzels. (ah, llinking to the food thread now…
587: Successfully mate a giraffe and and elephant.
588: Go kung fu fighting.
589: Breed cats that are as fast as lightning.
590: Play Dragon Age 2. (hang on… isn’t this the same as #384? ah well.)
591: Eat a biscuit.
592: Find a 6-shot, 1200 damage Mat 1, scope 1 Volcano…
593: Fly a zebra to Walmart to pick up some chopsticks for your taco soup.
594: Invent a cookie that doesn’t break when it get dipped in milk.
595: Grow paper cups.
596: Have a seat in a box.
597: Make a keyboard out of ceder.
598: Make a super awesome picture of a turdgeon.
599: Craft some exquisite piece of art and out it in a museum for all to see.
600: Champion a cause you don’t like and want nothing to do with.
601: Make something better than the internet.
602: Wonder when the rain will stop.
603: try to find Vallqur. He dares us all to find him.
604: make someone believe their house is yours xD
605: Complete everything on this list.
606: Order a pizza delivery on the phone. Repeatedly make it clear that you want pepperonis on your pizza. At the end of your order, say “Remember, no pepperonis!” and hang up.
607: Calculate pi to the last digit.
608: Order a pizza with no cheese and sauce. Now you have a box full of crazy bread.
609: Be disappointed by the new version of a browser (e.g. Firefox 4).
610: Make sticky note art.
611: Grow a cactus in your toilet.
612: March on a McDonalds and demand they lower the price of their dollar menu items to ¢98.
613: Scrub your chairs.
614: Terrorize a terrorist.
615: Grow a pinapple tree in your car.
616: Do the mexican hat dance around a shoe.
617: Party at a daycare center.
618: Make a “hit song” thanks to Ark Music Factory.
619: Take widescreen gaming to a whole new level.
620: Buy a snuggie and become a shut in.
621: Make some fresh squeezed orange juice.
622: Make some fresh squeezed orange juice.
623: Browse various troll attempts.
624: Go on a plane trip to a place you’ve never been and order a pizza, then compare it to what you are used to.
625: Post in this thread and get trolled for no reason whatsoever!
626: What about randomly break in to singing a duet with your friend? (If you must known, it was Still Alive.)
627: Try ‘I will survive’ in a mummerset pirate accent. And a dead relative has left me in charge of their fortune.
627: Craft hand-spun milkshake goodness.
628: Buy a 6 pound pizza and enjoy it until the day after you eat it.
629: Make a chair out of a giant mushroom.
630: Change your name seven times in one month.
631: Squish grapes to make wine.
632: Grow people out of dirt.
633: Try to understand the weather.
634: Swim across the Atlantic.
635: Learn to grow.
636: Eat bread with some cheese.
637: Don’t be surprised if you get a spam infraction soon.
638: Wonder why all governments fail.
639: Discover a way to create a utopia, live out your days in extreme bliss.
640: chin-wag about how GnawIron spends too much time posting new things to add to this list.
641: Check out Gnaw’s User Notes for a list of helpful threads and some laughs.
642: Browse various troll attempts.
643: Punch a punching bag.
644: Make some homemade spaghetti sauce and swear someone put crack in it when you turned your back.
645: Go for a leisurely drive through the countryside.
646: Laugh at a newly born sheep trying to stand, with it’s spindly legs, floppy ears, and funny little face.
647: Get charged $5.50 for a double-cheeseburger that was listed on the menu at the work caf for $3.36.
648: Have car trouble your first day of work.
649: Be an American with a new job.
650: Impale a zombie with something that’s not quite a sword.
651: Make a salad with grass and turnips.
652: Watch a movie on mute and create your own dialog.
653: chin-wag about delicious food.
654: Eat a Fudge Round
655: Drive to work in reverse.
656: Suggest that someone make a suggestion in this thread.
657: Suggest that someone suggest to someone to make a suggestion in this thread.
658: Learn how to correctly spell Arnold Schwarzenegger.
659: Narrate every moment of your life, or hire a professional narrator to do it for you.
660: Look at this guys sig and admire (and laugh at) his “rare finds”.
661: Fillet a potato.
662: Make some delectable Chex Mix.
663: Wish upon a star.
664: Make a broom out of porcupine quills.
665: Jerk cantaloupe.
667: Wash your windows.
669: Paint cheap imitation Raphael paintings, not for retail.
670: Buy a top-of-the-line computer.
671: Make Angry Birds real.
672: Ride a wrecking ball.
673: Watch a hockey game.
674: Punch a wall.
675: Take all of the change out of a mall fountain.
676: Relieve yourself in said mall fountain.
677: Rescue a species from endangerment.
678: Nine Ten.
679: Do something morally wrong or just plain stupid simply because you CAN, not because you should (e.g. robbing a bank).
680: Schin-wag another user from these forums.
681: Construct a borderlands weapon in real life.
682: Elevate your status by buying popular material goods and flaunting them to those you wish were your friends.
683: Bowl a 300.
684: Go for a bike ride on a freeway.
685: Bird watch in the desert with a camel and some nomadic tribesmen.
686: Google turdgeon
687: Snort pixie sticks until you pass out.
688: Ninja Gnawiron in this thread.
689: Watch Quantum Leap.
690: Eat healthy food stuff.
691: Create a whirlpool in your stomach.
692: Poach wild rhubarb.
693: Draw all over a road with chalk.
694: Fantasize about something.
695: Watch some old movies and laugh at the acting.
696: Greet everyone you meet with “Good bye”.
697: Send a letter to yourself, don’t put a stamp on it.
698: Make a chair out of old cardboard boxes.
699: wonder if Gnaw is going to get 700?
700: Chew on a root.
701: well, there you go.
702: Make a cup of tea.
703: Capitalize the last letter of every word you type.
704: Learn to forge weapons.
705: Eat local honey to help with allergies.
706: Make some cool sculptures.

1 Like

707: Bowl RPing as a character from 300.
708: “Eat” a local honey who has allergies.
709: Watch an entertaining Q4 LP.
710: Eat a pancake covered in raspberries and raspberry syrup.
711: Ponder the spelling of the words “Raspberry” and “Wednesday.”
712: Fill a ballon with water, draw the face of someone you don’t like on it, and practice Vampirism. Note: Cheap plastic teeth may help.
713: Shoot water balloons with a gun. Faces optional.
714: Learn HTML coding.
715: try dark brown sugar with lemon juice => UBER WIN (note from PH, I’m right there with ya, AG. mmmmmm. Incidentally drank a pancake flavoured shot the other week- cannot remember how it was made, though. I may have had more than one.)
716: forget that I’m updating the list, and such incidental verbiage belongs in the thread, really.
717: but don’t bother moving it out.
718: hey, It’s my thread okay?
719: I can put whatever where-ever. look! ahahahahaaaaa!
843: See, I even messed up the tips numbers! wooohoooo! Crazy times!!!
721: okay, cut that out right now.
3567: You ain’t the boss of me!!
723: Actually, I am. Step away from the keyboard, you idiot.
724: Fine. be like that. You’re no fun anymore, anyway.
725: Play cheesy flash games online.
726: Then get yelled at for being a wannebe gamer
727: Read strategy Guides for a video game you have already beaten. Think about how you did it better
728: Eat some delectable Thai food from a place where you eat so often the owners know what you want.
729: Learn to play the violin with the best.
730: Walk east until you are back where you started.
731: Layer a cake.
732: Drink a cool refreshing beverage.
733: Discover all of the April Fool’s Day word changes.(yeah, sorry, late.)
734: Figure out how you can be “Bi-winning”
735: Replace your blood with tiger blood
736: Handle having Charlie Sheen’s brain.
737: bake bananas, then put them in your pancake paste and then bake your pancake gaaaaarrrrhhhhhhhh drool drool
738: google ‘extreme advertising’ images. oh yeah, you like that.
739: beat Apple-Guy in a pancake-making contest.
740: Combine regular pancake mix with buttermilk and full blueberries.
741: Find Psychichazard some help.
742: Add vanilla, honey, a dash of cinnamon to your pancake mix.
743: Mix orange pulp into your pancake mix.
744: Add a dash of Bailey’s to your pancake mix. And while I’m on Bailey’s,
745: Add Bailey’s to your coffee after a long day of work, coffee is optional. And while I’m on work,
745: Work for a world power until political extremists overthrow it.
746: Count the alphabet backwards
747: Strangers in the night
748: use hex editor to make a BL gun that is the team colors of your favorite sports team
749: Add some gassed water to your pancake mix
750: Look through your collection of action figures and decide which ones to bring to work.
751: Ask yourself why the heck you’re still awake and don’t let yourself fall asleep until you can give a reasonable, satisfactory answer.
752: Repay a debt.
753: Wonder what exactly INAC has against you when you spent so much time on Pandora rescuing and looking-after Clap Traps.
754: Dream about your replica video-game weapons becoming real, preferably during a zombie apocalypse.
755: Start the zombie apocalypse.
756: Realize borderlands is a legal drug
757: Do a borderlands marathon and break my 42 hour record
758: end U1’s zombie apocalypse.
759: alternatively, wimp out, bang it out with some chick then blow your brains out. zombie’s is heavy.
760: Read the next sentence.
761: Read the previous sentence.
762: But DO NOT read this.
763: Watch a 24 hour marathon of Women’s Professional Basketball without falling asleep or committing suicide/homicide.
764: Secretly repeat a previous suggestion in this thread without telling anyone to see if anyone catches it.
765: Go through your normal day in slow motion.
766: Go through your normal day at twice the speed.
767: Secretly repeat a previous suggestion in this thread without telling anyone to see if anyone catches it.
768: Open up a gourmet pancake restaurant.
769: Write a complete novel that is also a palindrome.
770: Buy an aerodynamic sports car and attempt to drive it on the ceiling of a tunnel at high speed using the downforce placed on the vehicle.
771: Break the record for most suggestions in a single post in this thread (no idea what it is lol).
772: Terrorize those troublesome telemarketers.
773: Cunningly compose a clever and awesome alliteration about authoring alliterations.
774: Count higher than anyone’s ever counted (by 1’s).
775: Go 24 hours without opening your eyes (or you could blindfold yourself).
776: Tie the world record for least amount of world records broken.
777: Break the world record for least amount of world records broken.
778: Fart loudly in the company of only one other person, then accuse that person for the action.
779: Memorize the X section of the dictionary.
780: Learn how to write different sentences with both hands at the same time. Bonus points if they are in different languages as well.
781: Wear sunglasses, get a guide dog, and buy a cane. Pretend you are blind for a day, and purposefully walk directly at people on the sidewalk.
782: Read a book from finish to start.
783: Become an Italian hitman that only drinks milk and never kills women or kids.
784: Refine your bow hunting, computer hacking, and nunchuck skills.
785: Blow your own mind.
786: Dig a hole into prison.
787: Drink something that is solid.
788: Make the very last suggestion in this thread.
789: Ten.
790: Lick a touch screen cell phone.
791: Count to 593 by 5’s starting at 0. (8th grade social studies teacher SERIOUSLY told me to do this.)
792: Develop a new sleeping pattern.
793: Slide down hills not covered in snow on a snowboard.
794: Construct a rube goldberg machine.
795: Hack Kinect to do things it quite clearly shouldn’t.
796: Hassle a news station for the innacurracy of it’s weather predictions.
797: Make bacon scented cologne.
798: Speed run your favorite video game.
799: Speed run multiple games at once with a single controller input.
800: Start a pony brigade. C02Elite wins the 800thrd Tip!!! IN YOUR FACE GNAW!!!
801: Get the mail.
802: Find what is actually at the bottom of a ball pit.
803: Train your pets for modern warfare.
804: Train a polar bear to be a mode of transportation.
805: Ironically misuse the word irony.
806: Get lost in Ikea.
807: Pull off a hadouken.
808: State.
809: Post an epic wall of suggestions.
810: Start another zombie apocalypse, using the new corpses from the previous one to bolster the ranks.
811: Read the phrase, “Good news, everyone!” in a voice other than Hubert Farnsworth’s.
812: Replay a game you haven’t played in ages.
813: Mourn the departure of the keycard system.
814: Release a zombie game in China.
815: LARP Stalker: ShoC with live ammunition.(from PH: a bunch of my friends just did a Fallout Lrp. oh yessssss)
816: Watch Army of Darkness at work and get paid for it.
817: Clone Dinosaurs, miniaturize them and sell them as adorable pets in upscale neighborhoods.
818: Construct a replica BFG 9,000 so it will become real when the zombie apocalypse arrives.
819: Institute “zombie Thursday” where zombies invade every Thursday, and on Friday everything’s okay again, even if you died.
820: Drive a different car to work every day for a month (may require hot-wiring.)
821: Alternate between a horrible French accent and a real French accent with every other word.
822: Max-out every single weapon in Dead Space II.
823: Find a maxed (or nearly so) Crimson Reaper with scope 5.
824: Farm Slither for 48 hours straight.
825: Do something nice for a loved one.
826: Do something nice for someone who hates you. See if it pisses him off.
827: Test on a min-spec machine.
828: Fix a problem in your life.
829: Paint all the cars on your block the same shade of Hyperion Crimson.
830: Build a replica Crimson Reaper with a real blade.
831: Congratulate someone on suggesting the 800th suggestion.( aww, i feel bad about the ‘in your face’ stuff now. oh well.)
832: Create an eclipse.
833: March to the zoo and demand the lemurs get a pay raise.
834: Discover a single-celled organism thet dwarfs an elephant.
835: Become cheerfully active in your community while remaining reclusive.
836: Distract a film crew during a news report.
837: Brace yourself for a major impact of some sort.
838: Wear a crash suit to work.
839: Find a position or site occupied or available for occupancy or marked by some distinguishing feature.
840: Play through the Jakobs Cove story progression 100% pure Jakobs (all Jakobs weapons, Jakobs-brand class mod and no shield or grenade mod.)
841: Kill Crawmerax with Ransack active.
842: Clear Skag Gully as a Hunter using only Jakobs shotguns.
843: Incorporate the Boomstick into a build.
844: Blow sht up.
845: Find a weapon that everyone hates and learn to use it well.
846: Build the Jakobs Birdhunter Class Mod and actually use it to see if it works as a build.
847: Get a full mag of Ransack kills with the Bessie.
848: Effectively and beneficially incorporate Berserk into combat, on a build with 0 points in Brawler.
849: Farm “By the Seeds of your Pants” until you get a perfect level 8 Crimson Lance.
850: Get a cute girlfriend, bar-hop until someone hits on her, and then kick his a**.
851: Play the Final Doom level Go 2 It on Nightmare with a relaxation tape playing in the background.
852: Develop a crush on a cute girl.
(wishful thinking, tragically… )
853: Finish Baron Flynt with a Lethal Strike.
854: Kill Nine-Toes with Lethal Stike, Skar with the Clipper, Bone-Head with TK’s Wave, Sledge with the Bone Shredder, Skagzilla with Sledge’s Shotgun, King Wee Wee with Whitting’s Elephant Gun, Rakkinishu with the Spy, One-Eyed Jack with the Sentinel, Slither with MadJack, Taylor Kobb with a Dove Hornet, The Rakk Hive with a Roaster, Bleeder with a Leviathan, Queen Tarantella with a Nailer, Baron Flynt with the Patton, Master McCloud with a Boomstick, and The Destroyer with an Eridian Cannon, all in one play session. (may require WS–the weapons do not need to drop in that session; they can be brought in from previous farming.)
855: Kill a level 70 AssKicking Skag in 2 shots.
856: Play Dead Space II outside a Scientology center.


857: Become a Unitologist. Great everyone with the Unitologist sacred greeting, tell them about the Marker and Convergence, light candles outside your door and write Unitologist script in concentric circles around doorways and important areas in your home.
858: Kill a Super Bad Corrosive Alpha Skag, as Mordecai with a Jakobs shotgun, without taking health damage.
859: Finish General Knoxx by stomping on his head.
860: Distribute level 72 guns to hackerz online.
861: Kill a level 70 Super Bad Shock Skag as Mordecai, with a Jakobs Shotgun, without taking health damage.
862: Pick a Spiderant Overlord out of the air.
863: Record a speedrun of a game you’ve never played before.
864: Institute and foster the idea of blind speedruns.
865: As a Gunfighter, run a circuit around PT 2.5 Skag Gully so fast you beat your starting set of Skags to their respawn timer.
866: Kill Skagzilla with a kill-buff active.
867: Run the Hunter Class Mod with only Jakobs weapons.
868: Break 900 and 1,000 suggestions in the same post.
869: Make a zombie movie for the express purpose of coining the phrase, “Tool-up, Buttercup.”
870: Try and find time to color the Turdgeon.
871: Talk about how much hockey sucks in the Random Talk Thread.
872: find where nola is irl thru his IP and beat him over the head with said HOCKEY! stick.
873: start a stanley cup playoffs thread (i will be doing this after regular season ends) (note from PH@HL: oh joy. my cup runneth over.) (just kidding)
874: Post in Hellz upcoming Stanley Cup playoffs thread.
875: Underestimate your estimation of estimates.
876: Five Four Three.
877: Poke yourself in the eye.
878: Find Ben & Jerry and thank the for Chocolate Fudge Chunk ice cream.
879: Stick your tongue in a mouse trap.
880: Increase your potential.
881: Wear a Styrofoam suit of armor while riding a tricycle.(Note from PH: my brother did this on a unicycle at a larp fest. I was running behind with coconut shells, making horse noises. good times)
882: Engage in a fierce battle of wits.
883: Win the lottery and spend all of the money on peanuts and ham.
884: Master the art of mastery.
885: Write a book about monkeys and how they’re slowly taking over the world.
886: Pick some pickled peppers.
887: Milk a lizard.
888: Fund your own expedition to New Jersey.
889: Release a CD containing tips to “win without being Charlie Sheen”.
890: Scratch an itch you can’t reach.
891: Destroy the world and rebuild it to your liking.
892: Strive for greatness and achieve mediocrity.
893: Cross your fingers, hope to die, and stick a needle in your eye. Twice.
894: Find a word that rhymes with “month”.
895: Eat an entire bottle of Elmer’s Wood Glue.
896: Set up a tiki bar in the Arctic.
897: Predict the future.
898: Conform to the non-conformists essentially making you a conformist.
899: Get an A on your philosophy mid-term. (Note from PH: hey, good work, dude!)
900: Feed some poor critter.(NFPH: well **** me sideways. He’s done it again!)
901: Stop posting obscenely large walls of suggestions.(NFPH: hmm. A bit late, I think.)
902: Practice archery.(NFPH: yup, need to do this. made me a 60lb longbow a while back, gotta shoot that sucker some more. oh yeah)
903: Turn into a bird and fly away.
904: Grow a mustache in one day.
905: Buy a TV for your bathroom.
906: Swing on chandeliers.
907: Become a highwayman, robbing unsuspecting motorists on back roads.
908: Avoid being arrested as a highwayman if you manage to actually rob someone.
909: Write a book about littering.
910: Make an accurate sketch of someone you have never seen before.
911: Don’t fly a plane into a building in the hope of going to paradise at getting a ten foot **** and a hundred or so virgins. Stupid.
912: Contemplate the life of a troll.
913: Ride in a hot-air balloon.
914: Recycle old vending machines.
915: Become a film and art critic.
916: Eat some cabinetry.
917: Start an apiary.
918: Make a 5uggestion w1th 5ome number5 1n 1t.
919: Follow someone on twitter.
920: Put real wood panels on your car.
921: Grow an extra digit on each hand and foot.
913: Wonder how green is a color.
914: Marvel at the miracle that is trash pick-up.
915: Play a classic arcade game and beat all the high scores.
916: Ask someone where this thread is going.(NFPH; as long as that person isn’t me, fine. I have no idea.)
917: Advise small children not to run with chainsaws.
918: Create a new emoticon. :^|
919: Turn this thread up to 11. (NFPH: tick.)
920: Drive a scooter to work.
921: Embarrass someone without knowing who they are.
922: Learn anonymity.
923: Break the taste barrier with a new type of food.
924: Break the taste barrier with a bad choice of riddle on the guessing game thread.
925: Grow rare gemstones.
926: Harvest the gemstones and cube them to make them better.
927: Once you get the gems you want, put them into the sockets in your clothes.
928: Practice sharpshooting.
929: Teach someone english.
930: Joke about something serious with someone serious.
931: Find a vineyard and make some wine.
932: Prepare for an important event.
933: Appease your inner pyro and make some fireworks with some friends.
934: Participate in a super custom DLC collaboration effort.
935: Eat some ethnic cuisine.
936: Party like its 2086.
937: Work on your fast twitch muscles.
938: Go to a tea party with a yeti, don’t forget the biscuits.
939: wish PH good luck with the OP. (thanks)
940: When life gives you lemons, make orange juice.
941: Overload the OP with a gajillion suggestions.
942: Realize you probably now have suggested over 300 suggestions in this thread.
943: go and have a lie down after updating this thread, with your fingers dipped in ice water.
944: Wonder how the Japanese can keep going after all the crap that just happened.
945: Go treasure hunting in the arctic.
946: Create a device that allows you to transform into a piano.
947: Keep count of every time someone used the letter R.
948: Profess your love for a person, place, or thing.
949: Become a ghost.
950: Wonder how universal a degree in psychology really is.
951: Do some fun stuff.
952: Be as vague as you can while being precise.
953: Go for a jog to work on cardio.
954: Identify twenty three numbers before twenty four.
955: Splice some DNA.
956: Create a new type of math.
957: become a famous psychologist.
958: Make a chair.
959: Make better sculptures than me.
960: Wonder at religion.
961: Contemplate the theories of Kant and other philosophers.
962: Find an arrogant sob and punch him.
963: Buy a car.
964: Take your new car for a drive.
965: Avoid crashing your new car.
966: Mow your lawn.
967: Enjoy the temporarily nice weather.
968: Set up a home entertainment system.
969: Thank PH for his flangeal sacrifice.
969: Wonder how much work goes into keeping this thread running.
970: Give everyone shiny gold medals for their service to this thread.
971: collaborate a custom DLC with the other custom dlc developpers
972: Walk up and down a set of stairs.
973: Keep reminding me to buy a computer so I can play BL custom maps and criticize AG’s work when it is done
974: Read a magazine.
975: Play the clarinet.
976: Start an awesome wave of cool and watch others get swept up by it.
977: Fall up the steps and break your arm.
978: Repaint your house.
979: Watch little baby goats and sheep bounce around.
980: Feed your pets and or play with them.
981: Protect your computer with anti-virus software that doesn’t suck.
982: Browse the interwebs for funny topics.
983: Ask PH to take a day off from updating the OP while you continue to suggest suggestions because you want to keep it up but feel bad for making him keep it up. (HAH. NOT FUNNY) (well, it is actually, but like to act surly and disgruntled for comedic effect.)
984: Continue to update this thing even though i have got to go and do stuff, soon.
985: Bump the Guessing Game thread, it needs it.
986: Work on Turdgeon designs an astound everyone with their awesomeness.
987: Convince me to stop posting suggestions.
988: Make a good luck charm.
989: Complete a pagan ritual.
990: Give someone’s life meaning.
991: Wonder how politicians keep their jobs.
992: Play make-believe with a child.(NFPH: DO NOT COMBINE THIS ONE WITH MOST OF THE OTHER TIPS, OKAY?)
993: Build a house for a wombat.
994: Grow tangerines.
995: Eat some gum.
996: Go crazy and wonder aimlessly around the wilderness until you are picked up by police and taken home.
997: Throw a wild party.
998: wonder if you have time for just one more tip.
999: realise you don’t and leave the thread hanging…
1000: Make a puppet and make it a real person.
1001: Ride dolphins to war.
1002: Start a nice warm fire and build it up.
1003: Dropkick a shovel.
1004: Feel victorious in knowing you snatched a milestone suggestion away from GnawIron.
1005: Plan a party for the FS thread’s big 1000th suggestion.
1006: Enjoy trying number 10 of the suggestions.
1007: Buy some new pants.
1008: Take up pottery.
1009: Formulate a formula for formulating formulas.
1010: Conquer Rhode Island.
1011: Get into a fight with a midget.
1012: Lose the fight with the midget.
1013: Make the next big thing.
1014: Have someone Google “blue waffle” (I highly recommend against doing this yourself)
1015: Become a fortune teller.
1016: Discover your purpose in life.
1017: Enlist the help of a mime and express your self through them.
1018: Write your memoirs.
1019: Enter a state of bliss.
1020: Break a leg.
1021: Confirm that fire is hot (and burns) by lighting your hand on fire.(nfPH: avoid a combo w/#10 on this, prolly.)
1022: Ponder how dry ice works.
1023: Reconsider your ideals and make changes where needed.
1024: Talk to Morgan Freeman using telepathy.
1025: Harness kinetic energy and use it to do…stuff.
1027: Deny the laws of physics and set out to prove that they are a sham.
1028: Fail in your endeavor to disprove the laws of physics.
1029: Fall up and get down.
1030: Smack someone in the face while playing Kinect.
1031: Point and laugh at someone to make them briefly insecure.
1032: Watch the clouds in a public place and shout whenever you see one that resembles a “naughty part”.
1033: Get drunk.
1034: Drink some more.
1035: Cry yourself to sleep.
1036: Devour an entire cake using only a toothpick.
1037: Stand in front of pitches at the batting cages.
1038: Do self commentary while mini golfing.
1039: Write an entire sentence that has a line going through it.
1040: Go around telling everyone how your hamster is the embodiment of evil.
1041: Post a multitude of suggestions in the forum sanity thread.
1042: Strive to get suggestion number 1000.
1043: Fail in your attempt at the above.
1044: Do every single suggestion in three days or less.(nfPH: might want to get paramedics/police/fire brigade/astrophysicists/deity of your choice on standby for this. But good luck!)
1045: Play the game Torchlight.
1046: Accomplish the impossible.
1047: Wear a beanie in the summer.
1048: Push your way through a crowd.
1049: Make your own energy drink.
1050: Take a .
1051: Pay for a video game using only pennies.
1052: Count the stars.
1053: Lose an argument with yourself.(nfPH: yep, I do that every time I think about doing this thread)
1054: Invest a large sum of money in something that makes no sense.
1055: Accuse a rabbit of being the Cadbury bunny and demand that it give you candy.
1056: Live in a cage for an entire year.
1057: Fear the Turdgeon.
1058: Develop perfect calligraphy.
1059: Kick a rock.
1060: Prevent a catastrophe from happening.
1061: Convince someone they do not exist.
1062: Stick your tongue in an electrical outlet.
1063: Get struck by lightning.
1064: Memorize the alphabet.
1065: Live underwater.
1066: Invade Britain.
1067: Travel to Rome by only walking.
1068: When someone asks to see your I.D. scream that they’re one of the ones out to get you and run away.
1069: Go a whole day without using the word “the”.
1070: Go a whole day without using any form of the word ‘is’. WARNING: This may alter your perception of reality. In a good way.
1071: File bankruptcy.
1072: Preach peace and punch anyone who disagrees.
1074: Restrain yourself from posting so many suggestions at once.
1075: Accept the “OMG Wall of Text You Deserve This Award” award.
1076: Do some landscaping.
1078: Fortify your house using plastic trays.
1079: Crunch some numbers.
1080: Determine said numbers taste like Captain Crunch.
1081: Develop a new color.
1082: Jump over the moon.
1083: Love to hate and hate to love.
1084: Become a walking oxymoron.
1085: Punch a cactus.
1086: Pet a porcupine with your face.
1087: High five random people.
1088: Keep on keepin’ on.
1089: Trust that 2 + 2 = 22 because I (MiSeRy) said so.
1090: Go bungee jumping.
1091: Secretly develop a love for loving.
1092: Free Willy.
1093: Walk to the beat of a different drum.
1094: Eat some nachos.
1095: Prove the value of Mecrob.
1096: Swim with jellyfish.
1097: Buy a plant.
1098: Start a corporation thats sole purpose is to watch the other corporations.
1099: Get monopoly money as accepted legal tender.
1100: Come up with a plan to come up with a plan.
1101: Be redundant.
1102: Safely determine the force at which bone breaks when hitting cement.
1103: Encounter bigfoot.
1104: Video tape your encounter with bigfoot, but make sure it’s consistently out of focus and shaky.
1105: Discover the location of "Bum
1106: Eat an entire bag of Jelly Belly jelly beans.
1107: Invent a new fruit.
1108: Break your face.
1109: Determine the value of “x”.
1110: Make 100 suggestions in one post (with or without editing).(nfPH: Man, Misery, that was a sterling effort, SOLO 100 !!!111!!! consider yourself lovely. There should be some kind of special prize for that.)
1111: wonder where all the zeroes went.
1112: Award Misery with the “OMG Wall of Text You Deserve This Award” award.
1113: award Gnaw with the “making up insanely awesome sounding awards” award
1114: Make a turntable.
1115: Play in a marching band.
1116: Wonder what it means for the rest of the world that the US is the only nation to successfully fight a two-front war.
1117: Tame a lion.
1118: Grow a pair.
1119: Create the world’s first kaleidoscopic engine.
1120: Wonder how PH feels about people posting a zillion suggestions at once.
1121: Be Amazed, frightened, amused, awe-struck, confused, and entertained all at the same time. see #1121.
1122: Collect mold and fungi.
1123: Explain how something can be new and refurbished.
1124: Learn the ways of the force.
1125: Go for a chariot ride.
1126: Join a circus.
1127: Bake some potatoes for eating.
1128: Set fire to a building then call 911.
1129: Plan a robbery and sell the plans to the place you were planning on robbing.
1130: Create a new way to confuse people.
1131: Eat a helicopter.
1132: Get your pilot’s license and rule the sky.
1133: Bend the will of others.
1134: Plant some pretty flowers in a garden because you have been bugged about it enough.
1135: go for a *** half-way through this massive update, and save your work. I learned that one the hard way, what with my ever-so lovely kids. brb.
1136: note the naughtiness filter for the english word for a cigarette, less anyone wonder what I was doing just then.
1137: also notice how hot your partners keyboard gets when typing for what seems like several hours. note no naughtiness filter for that euphemistically loaded sentence.
1138: Dig the foundation for a house.
1139: Build a house.
1140: Make a car out of matches.
1141: Make up a number.
1142: Fund an expedition to jupiter.
1143: Contemplate the position of keys on a keyboard.
1144: Marvel at the craftsmanship of a good cannoli and even more so at the taste.
1145: Go back in time and become a famous renaissance artist.
1146: Turn people into fuel for cars.
1147: Make some macaroni and cheese from scratch so you don’t get that weird powder stuff.
1148: Develop a rare form of cancer that manifests itself as a benign tumor in your head who calls himself Bill.
1149: Wear a mask wherever you go.
1150: Go whale watching.
1151: Go outside while the weather is nice and do all the yard work you have been putting off.
1152: Stuff a mattress.
1153: Become a comedian with a dry sense of humor.
1154: Grill some shrimp.
1155: Make a diagram of the phases of cell division.
1156: Pronounce words funny because you can.
1157: Hope nothing you are suggesting is already suggested.
1158: Create a monster internet database for something.


1159: Fillet a mango.
1160: Park your car in the town hall.
1161: Buy a gallant steed and joust windmills.
1162: Attempt to save someone’s life with a submarine while landlocked in Australia.
1163: Wake the ents and have them go to war.
1164: Arm wrestle a cat.
1165: Build a city in a swamp.
1166: Build around that city.
1167: Live in the area around the city in the swamp.
1168: After several years of living in the area around the city in the swamp, comment n the weather patterns.
1169: Add more cowbell.
1170: Read the Romance of the Three Kingdoms in one day.
1171: Wonder how people get milk from almonds.
1172: Wonder why Voortman’s strawberry wafer cookies aren’t illegal.
1173: Make something so sinfully addictive it should be illegal.
1174; Pet a Vietnamese potbellied pig.
1175: Plant an apple.
1176: cut your partners hair halfway through this update, but don’t save your work. It’ll be fine.
1177: Organize your CDs and DVDs.
1178: Hand out business cards to random people.
1179: Become an imperial storm trooper.
1180: Play a super awesome RPG.
1181: Wonder what you are doing with your life.
1182: Help people overcome addiction.
1183: Write all of the suggestions on pieces of paper and throw them in a hat, pick one out each day and make sure to do it.
1184: Make a lamp out of a bar of soap a stopwatch and a lighter.
1185: Break into your house because you left your keys in the car you locked your keys in.
1186: Pave a driveway.
1187: Open a landscaping business in downtown DC.
1188: March with an army of ants.
1189: Join the navy.
1190: Measure your manly chinwarmer.
1191: Turn an umbrella into a bird bath.
1192: Pick a color.
1193: Wish you had mental soap after you learn what a prolapse is.(nfPH: I prefer mind bleach. stronger.)
1196: Cut cheese with a chainsaw.
1197: Become an expert at throwing things.
1198: Become a world-renown saboteur.
1199: Listen to the sounds of the world sleeping.
1200: Learn what nothing sounds like.(SECOND SOLO 100 OF THE NIGHT!!!11!!!1!!11111 award yourself your own award!)
1201: Speak braille.
1202: Wash your pets because they stink.
1203: Roll in toxic waste to gain super powers.
1204: Memorize the entire periodic table.
1205: Practice something.
1206: Sit unmoving for eight days. (nfPH: that’ll be yoga, then, in #1205)
1207: Find out what that annoying spot on your glasses it.
1208: Wipe that annoying spot off.
1209: See clearly for the first time in four minutes.
1210: Wonder through life with a blindfold on.
1211: Eat like you have never eaten before.
1212: Read Kama Sutra.
1213: Lock your mind in a box until it behaves itself.
1214: Cure allergies.
1215: Clean all the junk out of your house.
1216: Stick a screwdriver in a microwave.
1217: Cut crystal.
1218: Believe in PH, if he can’t update the OP no one can.
1219: Grow seeds.
1220: Write a book on all things manly.
1221: Shoot a laser into a black hole to tear a rift in time-space to send the light from the laser back forty two years in the past more than a hundred miles away from your current location.
1222: Build an underwater city, fill it with crackheads, and live the real bioshock experience.
1223: Learn a new language just to tell yo-momma jokes to foreigners.
1224: Go to a high school dance and play crazy music. When the people stand shocked at your music, tell them that they aren’t ready for this music, but their children are going to love it.
1225: Hide your kids, hide your wife, and marry a man also, so that you can hide your husband as well.
1226: Ponder on how the internet works. If you do know, get a concussion, and then start your pondering.
1227: Become Catwoman.
1228: Realize that tomorrow is FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY!!
1229: Farm zombies until you get a dark orange with barrel 5.
1230: Farm Craw until you get a drop with no Equalizers in it.
1231: Fight Craw once, every two hours, until you get a Pearl.
1232: Write a gameplay review of a game you’ve never played.
1233: Add 3 new items to the Create an Item thread.
1234: Five Six.
1235: Write a fan-fic where Batman is a Yautja.
1236: Nominate Craw Maggots for the world’s most annoying videogame enemy.
1237: Om nom nom.
1238: Miss Koorii Shiiemu.
1239: Create a convincing cosplay costume of an Elite Ultra.
1240: Raise Nali Rabbits in your back yard.
1241: Go on You Tube to publicly denounce internet memes and in doing so, become one.
1242: In your shame, invent a new form of ritual suicide that combines seppuku and self-immolation.
1243: Step through a portal to another dimension.
1244: Decide you like it better there.
1245: Make a 900 word post and have someone quote it to say, “This.”
1246: Do the hokey pokey.
1247: In the UK, do the Hokey-cokey.
1248: Post so many suggestions in a single post that you reach the character limit.
1249: Start a relationship with someone that acts like the exact thing you hate, but underneath they’re everything you love.
1250: Watch Troll 2.
1251: Enjoy one of the most intense chase scenes of all time.
1252:Make Gnaw cry by posting a wall. (nfPH: how do you think I feel???)
1253: Park your car at a 4-way stop.
1254: Learn every fictional language ever invented.
1255: Meet me at the ice cream truck.
1256: Randomly walk up to someone and scare the **** out of them by screaming as loud as you can. Walk away.
1257: Do something that’s never been done before. (nfPH: I think this has been done before)
1258: Combine two extreme stunts: the Human Cannonball and bungee jumping.
1259: Pretend to be a foreign person for a day.
1260: Say something that doesn’t sense.
1261: Write an autobiography, but skip the interesting events in your life.
1262: Learn how to count cards.
1263: Eat a jar of peanut butter.
1264: Check to see if you are immune to AIDS.
1265: Run in a 100 meter race while your feet are asleep.
1266: Compliment everyone you see.
1267: Criticize everyone you see.
1268: Become a contortionist despite the fact that you are neither flexible nor double-jointed.
1269: Make balloons out of animals.
1270: Do a double backflip.
1271: Do a frontflip and backlip in one jump, without twisting your body.
1272: Live on nothing but Cheez-its for a week.
1273: Speak only in cheesy quotes and puns for a day.
1274: Sneeze, fart, hiccup, snap, clap, burp, and vomit simultaneously in mid-conversation without pausing or changing your tone.
1275: Bowl a strike with a golf ball.
1276: Get a hole-in-one with a bowling ball.
1277: Perfectly match the stereotype of a different race or gender.
1278: Laugh maniacally as you run around with your fists raised, punching everyone and their dog and screaming “MOOOOORE!!!1!”
1279: Breed llamas.
1280: Find another 1001 uses for peanut butter.
1281: Decide once and for all whether or not you really do “want a Fanta.”
1282: Check your balls.
1283: Try to come to terms with the way Epic seems to have shafted their Co-op and Horde following by providing a ton of exclusive unlocks that only their competitive crowd will have the skill and devotion to obtain.
1284: Eat a coffee cup.
1285: Get a dog.
1286: Make cockatoos go extinct.
1287: Swim in a lake.
1288: Discover a lake monster.
1289: Sell a lake monster on the black market.
1290: Turn into a tree.
1291: Eat a delicious and nutritious meal.
1292: Breed a porcupine and a camel.
1293: Cure rabies.
1294: Open and close a car door until the hinges give out.
1295: Live in a box for a week.
1296: Set your TV on fire.
1297: Implant a second brain in your head.
1298: Chew cud.
1299: Lick the bottom of a shoe.
1300: Watch as rain washes away your driveway.
1302: Discover a way to successfully transfer your consciousness from one body to another and transfer it from one clone to another and over the course of a thousand years slowly take over governments and industries until you rule the world.
1303: Live forever or die trying. [Psychichazard] (nfPH: well, I’m paraphrasing Mr Robert Anton Wilson there, tbh)
1304: Successfully run a Utopia.
1305: Learn how to speak every language in the world.
1306: Own a lion.
1307: Every time someone films you, slide down a pillar while singing a depressing song.
1308: Watch every animated Disney movie.
1309: Watch every Pixar movie.
1310: Watch every Clint Eastwood movie.
1311: Manage to meet someone on the internet and then a week later, find out their house is right next to your new house by chance.
1312: Find out your neighbor is a government spy.
1313: Become a government spy.
1314: Save the world from the evil bad guy with a mustache.
1315: Destroy the world as the evil bad guy with a mustache.
1316: Get a well paying job, buy a nice house and car, find the perfect woman, marry her and have three blond children of alternating genders.
1317: Create some awesome paradoxes
1318: Remember to use those paradoxes in the event of a rogue A.I.
1319: Remember to use those paradoxes wisely so the AI doesn’t self destruct
1320: Pwn a lion.
1321: Blow sht up with a sniper rifle.
1322: Beat your own high score at something.
1323: Create a real, working Flail Gun.
1324: Root for the CAPS! (nfPH: jeeeeeeeeeez. damn hockey gets everywhere, random chat, here, blaaargh)
1325: Do something they don’t teach in boot camp… Woohoo!
1326: Break your high score on your favorite map.
1327: Kick exploding cannonballs into monsters.
1328: Break your new high score on your favorite map.
1329: Break you high score a third time! Hoo-yeah!
1330: Root against the Caps.
1331: Cure Diabetes!
1332: Don’t watch Hockey.
1333: Get the Mercy skillshot while drunk and firing a minigun.
1334: Beat a high score by around 3,000 points.
1335: Beat that high score.
1336: Enjoy the views and breathe-in the scented, narcotic air.
1337: Have Toxic Love be your most used skillshot.
1338: Enhance your aperture science experience.
1339: buy a pink suit.
1340: Paint your nails pink.
1341: Watch the Pink Panther (cartoon).
1342: Indulge in some pink colored taffy.
1343: Eat all of the pink Starbursts in a bag.
1344: Adopt a flamingo (they’re pink).
1345: Develop an obsession with anything and everything that is pink.
1346: Write a suggestion in pink.
1347: Realize that the actual color of the suggestions in the OP is magenta.
1348: Make a one letter post?
1349: Write a paper in leet-speak.
1350: Become an audiophile.
1351: Watch your free time fly out the window.
1352: watch this video
1353: turn your name into a face!
1354: Invent energyless power.
1355: Write papers for me so I don’t have to.
1356: <<<xXx M4k3Th3M05T Ann0y1nGAnDC0l0rful5ugg35t10N*3v3R xXx>>>
1357: Post thirteen posts back to back.
1358: Install wood flooring.
1359: Walk uphill somewhere and walk uphill back.
1360: Find out who killed who in which room with what.
1361: Get sick then get better.
1362: Climb a tree and swing from the branches.
1363: Get turned into a newt and get better.
1364: Play Stalker: Call of Pripyat with the SMRTER mod active, along with Atmosfear and Absolute Nature 2 boosting the already amazing ambiance.
1365: T.
1366: Show up to school/work/play rehearsals/etc. with something different about your hair and count how many times you’re told “Nice haircut.”
1367: Collect every McDonalds toy ever.
1368: Save 15% or more on car insurance with out Geico.
1369: Try to complete a game with out earning a single achievement.
1370: Drink a bottle of Orphan’s Tears.
1371: Purchase an FPS from XBLA and enjoy it, then question why others don’t enjoy it.
1372: Q
1373: Create a personal temperature control device.
1374: Erase permanent marker.
1375: Be blatantly subtle.
1376: Make a pre-emptive counter attack.
1377: Create more cool oxymorons.
1378: Melee a Rakk Hive’s legs.
1379: Finish Lokomotiv’s post.
1380: Make an FPS montage while using a song that has less than 100,000 views on it’s official youtube video.
1381: Yell at Cipher about why you won’t buy a mac.
1382: Use up arrows (^^^) to reference a post on a different page.
1383: Click a button.
1384: Walk upside-down, backwards, and left at the same time.
1385: Talk about super awesome epic coolness weather.
1386: Grow a cool.
1387: Make suggestions from your phone.
1388: Sdrawkcab noitseggus a etirw.
1389: Take a philosophy class.
1390: Study for finals.
1391: Stop the stinkbug problem.
1392: Enjoy probably the best weather you will have for a long time.
1393: Watch a stinkbug walk across the floor.
1394: Buy an Apple Mac
1395: learn the whole Apple Mac OS X Developer Library
1396: Try to hack an Apple Mac with your recently learned Mac OS knowledge
1397: Get depressed after failing to hack Mac OS X eventhough you know everything about it
1398: See the light that you need to buy a Mac for this sole purpose
1399: Then realize you can install windows on your Mac and that you can still play your games
1400: Then realize that Mac OS X really is better than windows
1401: Apply for a job as combat- or leveldesigner @ Santa Monica Studios for their “new project” for God Of War.
1403: Run hackintosh on your windows PC.
1404: Then get yelled upon by Cipher!
1405: Believe everything an internet gaming studio and comic series says.
1406: Reach a milestone number of posts.
1407: Congratulate someone on reaching their 1,000th post after they exceeded it by one.
1408: Puke Rainbows
1409: Kill a Potato, or Fail.
1410: Once again try to start a platform war…
1411: Mumble and say more things that doesn’t sense.
1412: Become Napoleon Dynamite.
1413: Take up blindfolded boxing.
1414: pee so much in the toilet that 1 flush isn’t enough to get rid of the yello *ACHIEVED *
1415: pee brown/reddish like achieved and i was like WTF?!
1416: pee crystal clear water color achieved xD
1417: when someone’s peeing along the road USE THE HORN!!! (lmao moment xD)
1418: if you have a truck and are driving on the road and you see someone peeing USE THE FREAGGIN HORN!!! wait a bit ALL OTHER TRUCKS WILL HORN ALONG xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
1419: Listen to the still alive song from portal 1.
1420: Have a name that no-one gets for 2 years.
1421: Celebrate that we finally got Osama. Hmm. reluctant to put this in, for some reason. I don’t think anything will change while the circumstances of his existence remain the same.
1422: Laugh
1423: also… fail at convincing U1849KA to buy a mac
1424: Successfully run the Master McCloud build:
Leader COM
Main: Eridian Cannon
Eridian weapons
Focus on turret skills.
1425: Do the claptrap then ninja kick some zombies for the thrill.
1426: Count the number of borderlands issues for PC then commpare with the number of issues with borderlands on the mac
1427: After several days of counting the PC issues, come to find only 1 mac error on the forums
1428: realize that once again you need to buy a mac xD
1429: So the other guy with a Mac, who has posted his issue on the forum, doesn’t feel lonely.
1430: Wonder.
1431: Make a super secret stealth suggestion. (oooh! only saw that when I cut and pasted it! niiiiice.)
1432: Play mind games with yourself.
1433: Drink water and breath air.
1434: Look at the world in a whole new way.
1435: Measure the growth of your hair.
1436: Scuttle like a crab.
1437: Fix your plumbing.
1438: Become a psychologist.
1439: Take a break from making suggestions.

1 Like

1440: Replace the headlights in a '96 Honda Civic. (Unless you have hands the size of a five year old girl, good luck!)
1441: Get a new phone.
1442: Edit a post immediately for spelling and clarity. (Basically all of my, Co2’s, edits)
1443: Invent a teleportation device for static objects including my macbook pro fan that’s still on the route from hong kong…
1444: Live without your beloved computer for 2hours… Become sick
1445: Live without for another day… And die… Must… GET… Replace… Part… Fan… dies
1446: Open up you laptop and check it out
1447: Start cleaning it since it’s your beloved computer after all
1448: Go gentle on the screws when doing so
1449: Clean connectors with rubbing alcohol
1450: Get laughed at when ur beloved and oh so wonderfull compy you claim it to be, his fan dies…
1451: Cry at the moment your fan died
1452: cry even more when you realize your compy is in pain because of overheating
1453: Stare at some braded apple strudel.
1454: Realize you just ate and the strudel cannot join the food in your stomach or it would meet the sewer crocodiles.
1455: Realize you couldn’t last a day in a pre-computer era after you said someone else couldn’t.
1456: Drink too much tea.
1457: Eat some food even though your lunch was so big you might explode if you do so.
1458: Don’t eat anything else after dinner, even if the waiter is very persuasive.
1459: eat a hoagie
1460: Beat Round 3 of Circle of Slaughter! (On your 5th try…)
1461: Kill Spiderants with a Rhino.
1462: Plan a potential co-op excursion to CoD with your new rocket-medic Roland that involves moving to another location in your home where you can hook-up a direct line, pending the availability of said location.
1463: Have a rematch with MINAC.
1464: Pick a Spiderant out of the air with a Rhino.
1465: Kill Rakkinishu with rockets.
1466: Kill Rakkinishu with punches.
1467: Kill Rakkinishu with a Lethal Strike.
1468: Enjoy the wonderful Stanley Cup playoffs.
1469: Tie kids to a radiator and grape them for DECADES AND DECADES AND DECADEs! (Hmmm. Not sure about this one. I suspect there is a silly joke going on somewhere.)
1470: play portal one on the ps3 and press (up)(triangle)(triangle)(square)(square)(X)(X)(cir cle)(circle)(up) (and if on xbox press the corresponding buttons)
1471: call someone back.
1472: Get to the Horde Wave, Round 5, in Moxxie, on the last arena you need to complete, and have the game freeze… (hang on, this was meant to be a thread of things to prevent rage, wasn’t it?)
1473: Pick a SuperBad Spiderant out of the air, killing it in a single shot.
1474: Don’t put your cat through the TV, if you have a cat and a TV.
1475: Get really tired of inserting stupid smileys of some blonde moron in your thread.
1476: argue with OP over whether the blonde dude is a moron or the ****
(seriously psych, I thinkhe can hear you)
1477: miss out on writing a new build thread before the wave of forum newbies flood this place with repetitive bitching threads
1478: metaphorically pierce your tongue to avoid infraction points for above stated reason
1479: literally pierce your nose cuz it makes you sexy, and tupac did it.
1480: write more build threads than anybody else on these boards (nf HellzLips: Im not puffing my chest, I actually think I have the most now)
1481: do what it takes to be first page on GOOGLE
1482: Nuke yourself in Duke Nukem
1483: Be like Hellz
1484: Get the 666th post in this thread. Quick, next post!
^Nice one, Gnaw.
1485: Cross breed a turkey, chicken, and eagle. (Tickle?)
1486: make a thread so all the new members can hate your guts.
1487: Develop a giant smoking hole with a tumor beside where your penis used to be. Possibly by doing all of the above.
1488: Buy a game that has nothing but GFWL logos on it and have it actually try to install Steam, instead, when you get it home.
1489: Water your house plants.
1490: Realize you don’t own any house plants.
1491: Buy a house plant so you can water it.
1492: Pour gasoline in a styrofoam cup.
1493: Silently exclaim.
1494: Become a bouncer at a club.
1495: watch the plant grow
1496: talk to the plant and watch it grow
1497: note the difference in growing speed and make a case study out of it
1498: Hire a babysitter, despite the fact that you don’t have any kids.Tell the babysitter that your child is asleep in the bedroom, and likely won’t wake ‘til morning. Come home and freak out when your “child” turns out to be “missing.”
1499: Play NHL 11’s Be A GM Mode and draft a guy literally named “Guy Turgen”, and laugh for 20 minutes.
1500: Be the only one in the room who knows why you are laughing. /Thread.
1501: Record a playthrough of Borderlands and put it on youtube.
1502: MW2 MW2 MW2 MW2 MW2 MW2 MW2 MW2 MW2 MW2 (Haha suck it. Twisted barrels for everyone.)
1503: See how fast you can spin in a swivel chair without blacking out. (It’s basically like being an astronaut in training.)
1504: Devastate things…
1505: Make a mini race track, get some pet mice, teach them to drive RC cars, and have them race for fun (and profit!).
1506: Listen to classical music. I recommend Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.
1507: Post an ambiguous status on Facebook about your rage. I’ll even give you a template to start. “Why do I even bother?” That’s it. Just copy and paste what’s in between the
quotes. Easy as 1, 2, Vaguebook!
1508: To follow up the above tip, you can also reply “I don’t wanna talk about it right now.”
when people ask you what’s wrong.
1509: Get banhammered.
1510: Read a book. (been done, but hey, welcome back, it can go in)
1511: Listen to death metal music and bang your head until you need aspirin.
1512: Attempt to communicate with the creature known as woman.
1513: When you fail at the above, see tip #10.
1514: Reminisce about the old days. Like way back. Like B.T. (Before Twitter)
1515: Eat a bagel like a boss.
1516: Play moar Boarderlands!!
1517: Punt a kitten.
1518: Throw a dog.
1519: Spin your cat on a swivel chair and observe the results. Conclusion: Cat claws > The centrifugal force of a swivel chair.
1520: Do the same with yourself speak from experience
1521: Have a nice friendly chat with all the mods in the ban bin.
1522: Laugh at Ice Car because he’s still banned.
1523: Browse the BL section of the Borderlands forums until you realize that they’re dead dead dead.
1524: Dunk a basketball all over somebody like LeBron or KD or anybody else you feel like imitating.
1525: Pretend that you can farm as well as Linda and Panic.
1526: Nope.
1527: Remember when Dacheat and Venomous tried to start a trade thread, but then decided they didn’t care and left it to die like a red headed stepchild.
1528: Cheat > Venom
1529: Play MvC3. Mash buttons. Have no idea what they hell you’re doing. Win.
1530: Listen to hipster music.
1531: Come up with ideas for “The Forum Sanity Thread Special Duke Nukem Demo Rage Edition!!!”
1532: Go take a pee.
1533: If you’re black, stand outside of a tanning salon touching your face and looking at the back of your hands while screaming.
1534: Fishing pole + dollar bill (or other paper currency equivalent)
1535: Pick up girls while in a wheelchair.
1536: Listen to your favorite music. Sing along but instead of using the original lyrics, replace them with the posts you are reading while on the forums. Kinda like a mini Mystery Science Theater 3,000. Or, think of an old song you like that’s not metal. Then go Youtube it and type “Metal version” after the song title. Or just listen to different covers of songs you like. I think this was a dream i had once
1537: watch minecraft adventures of Coe, Seananners, X and more (that’s gonna take you a while)
1538: Have an error.
1539: Elect an emperor.
1540: Go to a party with people you don’t like with the only intention of preventing your friend’s house from being trashed while their parents are away…oh, and to prevent people from drowning in a pool.
1541: Discover where a fourth monocle could possibly be placed.
1542: Discover where a fifth monocle could be placed.
1543: Stop thinking about where any additional monocles could be placed to protect yourself from thinking about things you would rather not think about.
1544: Take a re-recount of the number of suggestions GnawIron has suggested.
1545: Lose count after some number you counted but you can’t remember because you lost count.
1546: Tame a lion tamer.
1547: Hunt for the perfect peanut.
1548: Groom yourself.
1549: Speculate about project monocle.
1550: O.K. this is situational, but here goes. Go to McDondalds and order a burger with no ketchup (Catsup). When it comes with ketchup, (In your best Samuel Jackson voice) say, "I’m tired of this Mothafuin ketchup on this Mothafuin burger.
1551: Get a steering wheel from a junkyard. Go shuffling down your street in your favorite office chair holding the wheel saying VROOOOOM. When people look at you, dive on the ground beside the chair and point your finger pistol at them. Use the chair for cover. Let them know that you have the place surrounded.
1552: Have your team lose the Stanley Cup Final and proceed to trash your city in protest of the loss.
1553: Stand on a hill in Belgium during a thunderstorm wearing plate armour yelling “all gods are bastards”.
1554: saying you’re going to sleep but hang around anyway. BTW… hills in belgium aint high.
1555: Discuss minecraft, and decide that it is either lego on crack, or not.
1556: Post the first suggestion on a page directly after a page that had no suggestions posted on it.
1557: tell PH smoking is bad for him
1558:convince PH that smoking is really bad for him
1559: try to stop PH from smoking
1560: oblige PH to stop smoking…
1561: make PH stop smoking…
1562: force PH to stop smoking
1563: get rage upon you for trying to stop PH from smoking
1564: do not buy ciggies in Norway.
1565: Pull the pin from a live lemmon, practice your LemoNADE jumping.
When life gives you lemons, throw those puckers at everyone to spread the love.
1566: Endanger a species.
1567: Successfully fold a single piece of paper 8 times.
1568: Formulate a formula that forms a formulation of a formula.
1570: Bump this thread constantly.
1571: Find out what color a smurf would turn if you choked it.
1572: Amaze PsychicHazard.
1573: Play BL with the volume so loud your shotgun vibrates your teeth.
1574: Amaze a Psychic Charizard.
1575: Ponder what B-Test might bring.
1576: Google search for Borderlands graphical improvement mods.
1577: Select a famous chase-scene and re-create it with your friends in real-life.
1578: Pet an extremely soft cat.
1579: Anticipate Rage.
1580: Fall asleep at your desk.
1581: Mess around with Borderlands Advanced Settings
1582: hope you have wi-fi in the hotel you’re staying…they do! then scan for networks and find a free one.(AG)
1583: Throw pebbles at people. Get proficient enough and you can knock people out with them.
1584: Headbang while making fire.
1585: show people what you do at the weekends, now and again.
1586: Find a portrait of Psychichazard in a video game.
1587: Whenever you see Comic Sans in real life, throw your fists in the air and yell COMIC SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS at the top of your lungs.
1588: Discover exactly where all the cowboys have gone.
1589: Play a cute, adorable, hippy-tree-hugger Night Elf Druid.
1590: Have her transform into a bloodthirsty panther to rip out the throats of her enemies, skin them, and craft epic armor from their flesh via the Feral Combat tree and the Leatherworking and Skinning crafts.
1591: Realize that you’ve probably already lost your soul to WoW, but that it’s okay because the knowledge is important to your work.
1592: Be lucky enough to have that knowledge be important to your work.
1593: Create a 100% accurate Doom 3 Hellknight cos-play outfit.
1594: Raise Nali bunnies.
1595: riple snap
1596: snap at a tripe
1597: google eskimo brother
1598: reflect on past lovers
1599: kill your old buddy for being an eskimo brother
1600: youtube jon lajoie
1601: quit your job on a whim
1602: put your faith in god
1603: or not.
1604: cut your hair
1605: Realize that, yes, this just happened. denied!
1606: Mention that you have undeniable proof that +FRI works, then refuse to show it to Scottes.
1607: Point out the 3 sets of duplicate suggestions in the list without giving their respective numbers.
1608: Realize you just read the entire list and cry yourself to sleep.
1609: Read the entire suggestion list in one sitting.
1610: create borderlands guns using the editor and be praised by everyone who goes like "whut… i don’t even…
1611: Check out this gun referencing this thread and its creator.
1612: grow out your hair for 6 years and donate it to locks of love
1613: get a sunburned scalp the true reason for the season
1615: piss in your neighbors flower pot… when you know she’s watching
1616: play tf2
1617: break your mic in a rage induced frenzy cuz some 10 yr. old owned you in tf2 and wont quit cussing cuz thats what the cool kids on mtv do
1618: watch mtv
1619: dont do drugs, watch jersey shore and get your hair done
1620: never forget billy
1621: never go to law school
1622: (the following 38 are the story of billy. never forget. never.)Talk to corporate
1623: Approve memos
1624: Lead a workshop
1625: Remember birthdays
1626: Direct workflow
1627: My own bathroom
1628: Micromanage
1629: Promote synergy
1630: Hit on Deborah
1631: Get rejected
1632: Swallow sadness
1633: Send some faxes
1634: Call a sex line
1635: Cry deeply
1636: Demand a refund
1637: Eat a bagel
1638: Harassment lawsuit
1639: No promotion
1640: Sip on Vodka
1641: **** on Deborah’s desk
1642: Buy a gun
1643: In my mouth
1644: Aw, **** man I can’t ******* do it shiiiiit
1645: ***** out
1646: Puke on Deborah’s desk
1647: Jump out the window
1648: Suck a dude’s dick
1649: Score some coke
1650: Crash my car
1651: Suck my own dick
1652: Eat some chicken strips
1653: Chop my balls off
1654: Black out in the sewer
1655: Meet a giant fish
1656: **** his brains out
1657: Turn into a jet
1658: Bomb the Russians
1659: Crash into the sun
1660: Now I’m dead
1661: say your the boss when you ain’t the boss
1662: be unaware of certain videos that may or may not be referred to above.
1663: Spend hours reading Articles on Cracked. (IC: Fuuuuu, it’s been an hour and I still must read 3 more articles.)
1664: Kronenbourg.
1665: Get your 5,000th post in this thread.(M)
1666: sign all your posts with a catchphrase that you have to type in each time, its not connected to your sig.
1667: teach your dog to shake with the command “fist bump”
1668: convince your dog she is actually a black bear
1669: melee the rakk hive to death, as Mordecai
1671: Throw a Hot Dog down Rakk Hive’s mouth. Hot Dog down Rakk Hive you know what I’m sayin’?
1672: finish reading a 810 post thread…**
1673: Almost die by choking on inhaled Mountain Dew because you took a swig while someone was telling jokes, and get saved by a co-worker via the Heimlich.
1674: Try to think of a proper thank-you gift.
1675: Wonder what was so funny that it nearly saw the end of U1849KA
1676: read all this upside down with bubbles the monkey
1678: Masturbate Jovially.
1679: eave people shrouded in mystery
1680: Ride the fanny monster [(I tried, it’s hollow)<= is wrong in so many ways xD]
1681: Have awesomeness awaiting pc players
1682: Do a trio-commentary with ph
1683: Do a dual with ph
1684: Imitate ph
1685: stalk ph…
1686: Ask for ph to say things (<= u’ll get this one sooner or later )
1687: Watch dacheat’s borderlands playthrough
1688: Watch cat’s borderlands playthrough
1689: Watch vicious’s borderlands playthrough
1690: Get pumped up for borderlands 2
1691: actually read the sanity thread when you’re about to go rage-mode because of some stupid ■■■■■■■■ youtube encoding off sync messed up ****!
1692: waste 16 hours uploading vids that turn out to be off sync after upload…
1693: pray that those will now work…
1694: play a game with ph and livechat
1695: bring in yeticavern
1696: and squirrels!
1697: or squirreals.
1698: 1679: make graphic art that mocks yourself with gimp…
1699: #1680: fail at #1679, and continue forum rage but in the process laugh at yourself, and learn to let go anyway.
1700: #1681: create an “I Fail” thread dedicated to using the Images created in #1679 & #1680. and laugh at yourself even harder… let go of self and achieve nirvana.
1701: #1682: Crash every thread with a massive sig.
1702: #1683: Read the 17 simple rules on How to behave on a Forum to ensure a pleasurable forum experience.
1703: 1883; only just now, realize we’re posting suggestions with numbaz in front
1704: #1884; Wait for ph to fulfill the mysterious request…
1706: #1885; indirectly pressurize ph…
1707: ignore the alternate numbering system that someone seems to have introduced…
1708 Spend way to much time trying to record any kind of quality video.
1709-1720: Screw the rules.
Summon a dragon.
Invent a duel disk.
Jump out the window. (After blocking a bullet with your briefcase)
Rescue my brother.
Hang up the phone.
Impressed the rocks.
Collect the God Cards.
Fly a jet.
Write a check.
Land in a jetpack.
Be an ■■■■■■■.

1721: Make waffles for dessert.
1722: Break a mirror while walking under a ladder as a black cat crosses your path.
1723: Buy a match factory.
1724: Light a match in the match factory.
1725: Try to collect insurance money from match factory.
1726: Realize you never insured the match factory.
1727: Moonwalk on mars.
1728: Watch TV until you start to hallucinate.
1729: Get a late night snack in the afternoon.
1730: Have a conversation about philosophy and Odysseus with a pig.
1731: Change color.
1732: Metamorphosize into a bear-panther-shark-falcon-tiger-gorilla.
1733: Get Your Guns On!
1734: Become A Jedi. bad link, sorry. couldn’t wait forever.
1735: get more gifs for your sig.
1736: Find a sideways hat.
1737: Make a new thread in the BLT forums suggesting your improvements to the melee system.
1738: Try to remain sane after 2 months of studying
1739: Realize we’re all god… (If u want I’ll explaing, but I’m warning you, all that studying made me1740: think / insane)
1740: Remain sane when learning udk while studying for your exams
1741: Wonder if you typed remain correctly…
1742: Yeah, you did.
1743: **** on a coke brick, and build a brick house, lock your ex up inside, make her sniff her way out
1744: light a stick of dynamite inside of your mind tonight, let it excite the right side of your mind and do math right
1745: drink beer
1746: make things rhyme
1747: destroy “ninja’d”, replace with INAC’d
1748: Learn wonderful things in udk
1749: Make a youtube intro with udk
1750: Be baffled by udk
1751: Be baffled behind all the math calculations in a game
1752: Be confused trying to actually understand all of it…
1753: Love gearbox for changing your life
1754: Kill Mad Mel with a Melee Attack without being overleveled.
1755: Win an inanetz from Ice Car.
1756: Have an entertaining evening (civilly) with a woman who has treated you like **** in the past, who you have treated equally in recompense.
1757: Discover that your gaming rig is afflicted with large amounts of FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU and rage-quit trying to fix it before you rage-throw-the-f***ing-thing-against-the-wall.
1758: Go out afterwards and be fed a gigantic meal of leftovers from a variety of restaurants.
1759: email homemade pie to your friends. warn them that it will taste of dust and fingerprints.
1760: watch leaked BL2 videos.
1761: masturbate grudgingly.
1762: don’t be a cheap bastard.
1763: Look up the recipe for Irish Coffee and drool wanting some while knowing you’ll never make it properly. Thanks Reeepr.
1764: seek a way out of all the studying
1765: choke under the mountain of studyness anyway…
1766: have the urge to make cheese croquettes, clean the fryer wait hours till it’s dry, be saddened because there isn’t enough cooking oil.
1767: Disturb the peace.
1768: If you ever encounter awkward silence… … … …um…yeah.
1769: Be the first person to create a fully functional turdgeon saddle.
1770: Be the first turdgeon rider.
1771: Start a turdgeon gang and become infamous.
1772: Repent for your sins by making a pilgrimage to the wayshrines of the nine.
1773: Clap with one hand with both hands.
1774: Watch shows on hulu from dawn to dusk then from dusk to dawn.
1775: Walk half a mile in the rain just to eat some food you are only half hungry for.
1776iscover a divine cross between a peanut butter fudge-like rice crispy bar topped with chocolate.
17777777777: overdo the sevens.
1778: Realize the divine cross between a peanut butter fudge-like rice crispy bar topped with chocolate completely made up for the half a mile walk in the rain to food you are only half hungry for.
1779: End every sentence with a sarcastic term or phrase. Yeah, that just happened. See what i did there?
1780: Fail to see what he did there
1781: Be the last poster in a thread
1782: Play Stalker: Call of Pripyat with the SMRTER mod active, along with Atmosfear and Absolute Nature 2 boosting the already amazing ambiance.
1783; Play MW3 early
1784: Craft weapons to survive a island paradise hell like a baws.
1785: Fail escort missions over and over like a baws.
1786: Rage about escort missions like a baws.
1787: Get a car like a boss.
1788: total it running over the undead like a baws.
1789: Ditch it for an armored bank truck like a baws.
1790: Crash a helicopter like a baws.
1791: Get some guns like a baws.
1792: No ammo like a baws.
1793: Get ammo and mod your stuff like a baws.
1794: Run from rams like a baws.
1795: Search old war bunkers like a baws.
1796: Find fat vomiting zombies like a baws.
1797: Get pukeanatored like a baws.
1798: wash it off like a baws.
1799: Investigate weird noises like a baws.
1800: Find a suicider zombie like a baws.
1801: Run away from it like a boss.
1802: Fail at escaping like a baws.
1803: Get blown up like a baws.
1804: Respawn like a baws.
1805: Buy medkits like a baws.
1806: Go back for revenge like a baws.
1807: Laugh manically like a baws.
1808: Get more weapons like a baws.
1809: Level up like a baws.
1810: Spend skill points like a baws.
1811: Earn money like a baws.
1812: Overture.
1813: Shoot some looters like a baws
1814: Continue making a wall of dead island related tips like a baws.
1815: Then loot what the looters were looting like a baws.
1816: Should you be uploading more videos instead of playing like a baws.
1817: Kick more zombies in the face like a baws.
1818: Make some deo-bombs like a baws
1819: Realize that had two returns instead of one like a baws.
1820: Spam those deo-bombs like a baws.
1821: Kill yourself with unitentional deo-bomb fail like a baws.
1821: Holy crud it’s a butcher like a baws.
1822: Get stabbed like a baws.
1823: Bleed out like a baws.
1824: be a baws?
1825: Learn the art of patience from the master.
1826: Do like Apple-Guy does, Apple-Guy types in every post with Greetz Apple-Guy. Greetz Apple-Guy
1827: REEEPR doesn’t spin, he get’s down with James Brown.
1828: yeti gets jiggy with it
1829: Watch this video.
1830: Go back, turn on CC, then Transcribe Audio.
1831: Watch it again.
1832: Have Steam eat your BL DLC
1833: Remove BL from your computer
1834: Re-download and install BL
1835: Have a party because you have your DLC back
1836: Cry and rage because you can’t successfully get in an online game or stay in an online game
1837: Realize you spent nearly two hours trying to play online
1838: Go to bed
1839: Wake up, miss breakfast, do homework, refuse to read 1984 and come here instead
1840: advise gnawiron to open a technical support thread so Apple-Guy can help him.
1841: Skin someone’s face.
1842: Put it on.
1843: Say hi to their mama.
1844: Solve the world’s energy crisis with a box of toothpicks, 3 rubber bands & a watermellon.
1845: Keep the watermellon device hidden, there are corporate spies everywhere.
1846: rewind 89 posts to post your 5000th post in here. i told you i’d forget (AG)
1847: Well, I didn’t forget mine. 8,000th post get. (IC)
1848: pork a pig
1849: Pig on pork.
1850: Create an island out of marshmallow fluff.
1851: inform gnaw his stelt suggestion doesn’t work on me
1852: Make your 3000th post in this thread (GI)
1853: Congratulate Gnaw on 3000 posts.
1854: Congratz on 3000 Gnaw.
1852: say gnight in this thread
1853: Snake post number 500 from everyone else to hopefully piss them off, or at least deny them the glory.
1854: Fail to sleep
1855: Share the love
1856: **** bitches
1857: break ****
1858: cuss a lot to feel cool
1859: freestyle for your boss, about your boss, and she just dont get it
1860: Spam this thread tomorrow it PH forgets to update the OP.
1861: DENIED!!!.
1862: Take a Brick to the Underdome and get pwned by a Mord.
1863: Be forced to read a few suggestions because everytime you play a shooter that isn’t BL because you press ‘F’ and nothing nearly as cool happens.
1864: Become frustrated that BL has ruined other shooters for you.
1865: Play more BL to relieve the frustration. (With a #10 for good measure).
1866: Have your battery die and bum a ride to work off your room-mate.
1867: Walk home from work because you forgot your phone so you can’t reach anyone to get you home the normal way.
1868: Run out of jam so you can’t make samiches.
1869: Torch some Locust from the inside with the Scorcher execution.
1870: decide what to do… what to do…
1871: Turn PH into a glitched ghost.
1872: watch this without GOUGING OUT YOUR EARS WITH A RUSTY FORK.
1873: support the hard working American Troops
1874: bug the piss out of Yeti to update more/faster.
1875: replace the Underdome with Forum Fighters.
1876: have way too much fun and question your own morals once you realize you’re farming forum members.
1878: read up on some paradoxes
1879: Watch this video to the end. Get reward.
1880: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…
1881: Police the forum Sanity Thread to ensure every post is 100% on-topic.
1882: get ice car banned because of your shenanigans
1883: Get Ice Car’s ban reverted because of your persistence and the willingness of others involved to take responsibility for their actions.
1884: Stare at water willing it to solidify in submission.
1885: Conjure meteorites to obliterate your enemies. <-- great for schoolyards.
1886: Realize that walking consists of a series of controlled falls
1887: Chuckle because the notion of walking as falling sounds ridiculous but makes sense
1888: start a new sig, realize that it sucks, give up and play audiosurf.
1889: read who posted in this thread and feel better/worse depending on how many post you have. (i have 8 )
1890: eat some cheesecake
1891: listen to this song and think of PH because of the picture
1892: eat chalupas
1893: destroy anyone use axe deoderant (i feel your pain right now Co2)
1894; decide what you are going to have for lunch
1895: create/fix your counter strike: source spray
1896; play darwinia
1897: stare into the red eye of my sig (YC) and feel me taking over your soul.
1898: rename friends on skype to various people from animes
1899: spam this thread while waiting for your next class to start
1900: edit your posts just for the sake of making them longer.
1901: Balance hookers, blow, and wine on yourself. just because.
1902: do a rail off the chest of cheap hooker, then take a shot via titty **** (broad holds the shot glass between breasts, place mouth appropriately, lift broad till liquid pours down throat)
1903: suggest ph to update pink to yellow or yellow to pink, either one (see title just above the suggestions ^^)
1904: Soma for everyone!
1905: Play centrifugal bumblepuppy. Whatever the hell that is.
1906: post in this thread on its 1 year anniversary.
1907: Get your 5,686th post in this thread, on its one year anniversary. (M)
1908: Get boo-booed.
1909: Insult People.
1910: correct tha numbaz incorrectly.
1911: watch this
1912: Understand that no matter what you do, how special or talented you are, that you are not Sancho.
1913: Have a CRAB BATTLE!!!
1914: It’s PSYCHICHAZARD, okay? jeez.

1 Like

1915: watch some lp’s because they’re more entertaining than some tv.
1916: create some box art for BLT for this thread.
1917: Find a penny, pick it up, all day long you’ll have a penny.
1918: Change your avatar that you’ve had for over a year with no one noticing.
1919: Eat some fudge.
1920: Climb a tree to save a kitten.
1921: Drop a deuce.
1922: Post in the best thread in the universe.
1923: Ingest some punch.
1924: Go around giving everyone you see a handshake.
1925: Don’t wear socks with dress shoes.
1926: Poke someone with a fork.
1927: Tell a joke that is in poor taste.
1928:Underestimate the power of flowing water.
1929: Have someone bury you up to your neck in sand.
1930: Come to an agreement that an agreement is a mutual understanding.
1931: Shoot a chicken out of a cannon at a plane (a grounded plane with no passengers).
1932: Zelda > Okami. (from PH: not sure how to perform this one, but whatever.)
1933: Legally change your name to Frickenstan McFricken.
1935: Ignore the repeat suggestion alert siren.
1936: Watch a Barney marathon without going insane.
1938: Destroy all humans.
1939: Invade Poland.
1940: Inquire about an inquiry.
1941: Floss.
1942: Start a riot over someone using the acronym BLT to refer to BL2.
1943: See a random person with Misery’s sig, only to realize the person is Misery with a new avatar.
1944: Drink some fudge.
1945: Climb a kitten to save a tree.
1946: Pick up a duece.
1947: Post in the worst thread in the universe.
1948: Vomit some punch, or punch some vomit.
1949: Go around giving everyone you see the finger.
1950: Don’t wear shoes with dress socks.
1951: Poke someone with a spoon.
1952: Listen to a joke that is in poor taste.
1953: Underestimate the power of flowing lava.
1954: Have someone bury you up to your neck in ants.
1955: Don’t come to an agreement that an agreement is a mutual understanding.
1956: Shoot a plane out of a cannon at a chicken (a grounded chicken with no passengers).
1957: Use the mathematical symbol for “greater than” to make a comparison between two things, video games, or people.
1958: Legally change your name to Frickenstein McFricken. ARROOOGA -never mind. Spelling difference.
1959: Go to Burger King and order a Baconator.
1960: Watch a Jersey Shore marathon without going insane.
1961: Don’t listen to the new Evanescence CD.
1962: Destroy all humans that destroy humans.
1963: Answer an answered inquiry, with an inquiry about the answer of the inquiry.
1964: Floss your dog.
1965: Start a riot over BLTs.
1966: Say hi in every language in 1 millisecond.
1967: Do a muscle-up on your first attempt.
1968: Get Born
1969: Okay? Got a war across the USA.
1970: Burning Inside.
1971: Kill a peanut with a glance.
1972: Listen to The Black Mages and wish you had some Final Fantasy with you
1973: stare a person to death! (Make sure he doesn’t death-stare you first though!)
1974: Entertain an entertainer with entertainment.
1975: Make money and open up a thrift store.
1976: Make a living off a magazine.
1977: Design an engine sixty-four miles to a gallon of gasoline.
1978: Make new antibiotics.
1979: Make computers survive aquatic conditions.
1980: Create a new stable element
1981: Shape space
1982: Reach the uncreachable (uncreachable? typo? but i like the word, so…it’s in.)
1983: Travel through dimensions
1984: Looks like it came true.
1985: Bend light
1986: Say goodnight to Apple-Guy, even though it’s probably 3 AM where he lives.
1987: songify anything
1989: drink life (life = beer)
1990: work in the rain
1991: make it rain at work
1992: rant about how a guy cant go to the local blockbuster to pick up a skin flick and break into his neighbors house to watch it cuz i dont own a dvd player.
1993: fire off a few knuckle children AARROOGAHHH!!! ARRROOOGAHHH!!! REPEAT SUGGESTION ALERT!!!
1994: impregnate the toilet
1995: pick up the iPhone 4S and tell Siri you’re horny. She’ll find you local hookers.
1996: Become a man.
1997: See a doctor about that itch.
1998: Keep it Hellz
1999: Party.
2000: Buy Hellz Lips Caps season tickets on the glass. 1 for me, 1 for Mis, and 2 more for our fine ass bitches.
2001: Piss.
2002: make and post DLC on a whim.
2003:L augh at a hobo, feel bad, go home and donate your entire lifesavings to a charity.
2004: Fly into the sun
2005: Tell people you flew into the sun
2006: Escape an asylum
2007: Do some acid
2008: Escape jail
2009: Pull off a $1000000 heist
2010: And repeat all the above
2011: Notice all the new avatars and sigs people have but don’t mention them. Wait for them to.
2012: Buy a goat.
2013: Dress your goat in latex.
2014: Tell the goat to dance.
2015: Flick the bedroom light on & off while going unce unce unce.
2016: go to the Booby Trap
2017: spend every dollar you have on strippers
2018: love every goddamned second of it
2019: regret that you spent ‘all’ of it and don’t have enough to stop for food on the way home
2020: hate your drunken munchies.
2021: never learn.
2022: Buy a sheep
2023: Dress the sheep in wool
2024: Shave it off
2025: Watch as insanity unfolds
2026: Kill the sheep
2027: Eat a pumpkin
2028: Die from sheep/pumpkin cross breed genes eating u inside out
2029: Thank Psychic Hazard for making & updating his awsome thread.
2030: Ponder why a game with a 15 hour campaign is panned as being too short, when a game with a 4 hour campaign is praised across the board.
2031: kill your sister (PH says: don’t. really.)
2032: Resurrect AG’s sister as the Skeleton Queen.
2033: Send adventurers to their deaths in an attempt to slay her for m4d l007s
2034: Justify something through justification.
2035: Learn how to stop time.
2036: Sell this knowledge on the black market to the highest bidder.
2037: Stop time so no-one who bought it gets to use it.
2038: Profit.


1 Like

2039: Farm Craw until you get a drop that’s all whites.
2040: Clear Knoxx with a Gasher.
2041: Defeat Ultimate Circle of Duty as a Skirmisher or Truxican.
2042: Watch an LP of Dark Souls and take a shot every time the guy dies.
2043: Watch an LP of Bf 3 and take a shot every time he swaps an assault rifle for an assault rifle.
2044: Make a D&D warrior based around dual-wielding massive shields.
2045: Contact weapon manufacturers and see if they can engineer a real Anarchy for you.
2046: Teach a fish how to eat pizza.
2047: Slay the demon hordes at the foot of Mt. Arreat.
2048: Enjoy the laziest Sunday ever, after an epic night of awesome.
2049: Get pissed during said lazy Sunday cause you can’t decide what user created DLC of amazingness you want to play.
2050: Abolish the turret as a video game enemy.
2051: Fry cheese
2052: Fry Bacon
2053: Eat fried Baconchesse or as I call it Beese
2054: Die of a heart attack.
2055: take the heart attack like a man and keep eating beese.
2056: Take the heart attack like a man keep eating beese then have an ephany and make mini beese and put the mini beese in a card board box and call them breakfast beese and sell them for £500000
2057: Make candy dispenser for trick or treaters. Fill said dispenser with bees. Press button = dispense bees
2058: Ride a hog into a hedge thus creating…a hedgehog!
2059: Wish everyone on the boards a Happy Halloween!
(even those heathen foreigners who don’t celebrate it. d: )
2060: Learn how to make tiny bottle rockets out of matches & foil.
2061: Upload vid of said rocket shooting your eye out onto Youtube.
2062: Invent the double smiley. d
2063: Go listen to Lilith’s Hat Trick and laugh your arse off.
2064: Have a turtle race.
2065: Forget to update the damn thread, as usual.
2066: succeed in making people stop smoking.
2067: ^be a grammar nazi on a non native english speaker
2068: go all hostile-style
2069: give in to misery’s suggestion
2070: convince people to stop smoking…
2071: Don’t flatter yourself.
2072: unintentionally flatter yourself, for when you fail to not flatter yourself
2073: Try to get to 4444 posts by 11:11 am, even though you wont be here at that time.
2074: Do a history research project while playing video games.
2075: lay aside the history research saying you’ll do it after you’re done playing
2076: Get 6,666 posts at 66:66 66666666 six six six 6 six
2077: Get so scared you **** yourself playing SOUL on the xbox360
2078: correct textspeak while updating the list.
2079: Play some Skyrim.
2080: Have your gaming rig **** all over itself and die.
2081: Drink a bottle of Jack Daniel’s Old No. 7
2082: On the morning after your gaming rig shat all over itself and died, get invited to the beta test weekend of the game you’ve looked forward to for over a year.
2083: Rage.
2084: Rage more.
2085: Cry.
2086: Throw things. Through walls.
2087: Have the urge to get stupid, stupid ******* drunk.
2088: Look in cabinet, realize your drank the bottle last night.
2089: Break more things. (PH says: the last few might not quite fit this thread, really. but so what.)
2090: Discuss how to repair a pc in this thread.
2091: Get confused about wot Apple-Guy and Magical are talking about
2092: Eat fish to think harder
2093: Slip on a banana
2094: Get angry at how stupid you am
2095: Throw the fish out the window
2096: Ponder whether u just made a fly fishing joke
2097: Cry yourself to sleep
2098: take electronics and IT classes and understand
2099: point out grammer mistakes “get angry at how stupid you am”
2100: Fail when identifying intentional mistakes as unintentional…
2101: Fail at noticing the joke u made by saying “you am”
2102: Feel stupider
2103: feel good when that wasn’t on purpose
2104: take a shower (how’s this not in the OP? o_O)
2105: Try to understand BOOM HEADSHOT’s posts.
2106: Derail the Sanity thread with technical jargon (for the second time I believe)AARROOOGGAHHHH ARROOOGAHHH REPEAT SUGG-
2107: Rip the repeat suggestion alarm off the wall.
2108: Brag about the amazing sack of sexiness that is Magical’s Magnificent Bass.
2109: troubleshoot like a bawz!
2110: Drink some Chai. or tea, especially Darjeeling with cardamom. see also #702
2111: Assist troubleshooting via forum post like a baws!
2112: World does not end. How surprising.
2113: Get post number 9001 in the Sanity Thread.
2114: Invoke #702 because of this.
2115: Download Guile’s Theme as an MP3.
2116: Put on your Ipod.
2117: Play nothing but that theme the entire day.
2118: Profit. (again. this whole thread is profit.)
2119: Look at that tom guys sexy elbow. (PH says: DON’T.)
2120: Rip your eyes out so you don’t have to see Tom’s signature. If all else fails, use the ignore list or disable signatures in the option tab of the User CP.
2121: Bow down before the power of ZUL… er, ELI!!! (magical’s new boxer pup)
2122: Temporarily run out of suggestions to stem the tide of rage.
2123: Raise monster dogs of doom. Rotties, Boxers, Dobies, Pits, Shepherds, etc.
2124: Find ways to have fun when there is only work to do.
2125: Be tired at 5PM but stay awake because you need to eat.
2126: go watch walking dead
2127: buy Hellz a house so he can play his drums, or, buy Hellz an electric drumset. not the cheap kind, the really sweet realistic feeling ones, or buy Hellz 2. its still cheaper than a house.
2128: Watch the walking dead season 2
2129: Go insane on it’s awesomeness
2130: Tell all your friends to watch it
2131: Feel sad when they say no
2132: Eat your sadness away
2133: watch a random series you never watched before
2134: fanboy it
2135: tell your other friends to watch it
2136: get told you’re too much of a fanboy so they aren’t going to watch it
2137: drown in your own self-pity
2138: be productive
2139: be counterproductive.
2140: Be counterclockwise.
2141: bash one other’s statement by suggesting the opposite…
2142: be clockwise
2143: bash the sesquipedalianism of the term counterclockwise and use “widdershins” instead.
2144: make things complicated when they ca be easy
2145: give ph work (PH says…thanks!)
2146: Spend three hours looking up sesquipedalianism
2147: Give up
2148: Use it in a sentence to sound cleaver
2149: Become a Sesquipedalian
2150: Revel in how cute your cats are.
2151: Resist the urge to make a cute pu**y joke.
2152: Eagerly await the release of a game that does not yet have a release date.
2153: Read up on Prometheus.
2154: Bake and consume pizza.
2155: Obtain waffles, and tell evil to beware this fact.
2156: buy Hellz the NHL toaster, it toasts the logo onto the bread (HOW COOL IS THAT!?!?!?)
2157: fix up your guitar that you havent touched in years, and jam out til your fingers are numb
2158: go go gadget dick
2159: spend an entire day leveling up your smithing in skyrim (its still not 100)
2160: Watch the launch trailer for the best game ever made
2161: Eat sum nachooooooooooz
2162: do coding for fun (if you dare)
2163: don’t dare
2164: but dare to not dare
2165: get yourself a simple but effective paradox
2166: chit chat with dw
2167: tease people wiht food pictures when you know theya re hungry but can’t get to any food
2168: Make chocolate chip flapjack
2169: Realise something went wrong when the chocolate melted
2170: Eat it anyway
2171: Remind yourself it’s 27 days til Christmas.
2172: Please, don’t use textspeak. It’s rubbish.
2173: miss ph.
2174: Go to the dentists halfway through updating the bloody thread.
2175: Finally get back to updating. I have not been at the dentist all this time, btw.
2176: realise that Magical offered some suggestions, and that you didn’t update since his passing. Feel sad.
2177: sneeze-burp…snerp
2178: Alliterate like a Baws!
2179: drink through your nose
2180: when your head is under water, let little air bells come out through your eyeballs
2181: Eat a baby
2182:Feel bad about eating a baby
2183: Lose baby weight from the baby you ate
2184: Laugh for hours after reading Looking for Group along with Richards crazy shenanigans
2185: Eat Ass Burgers.
2186: Eat beef burgers
2187: Admit to a cow you have no beef with it.
2188: Realize your username comes up 15 times in the OP (gnawiron. that makes 16. or more.)
2189: Toss bread crumbs at guinea pigs
2190: Pick a peck of pickled peppers while selling seashells by the seashore to woodchucks that may or may not chuck wood
2191: Play with your desk lamp that looks like Luxo
2192: Pick up a package you forgot about for three weeks after you receive an email saying you have another package.
2193: Lick a battery
2194: Own a Bipolar Bear.
2195: Work at fast food restaurant, inhale helium and talk to customers.
2196: Eat Flam’N hawt cheetos with a hamster
2197: Go through a metamorphic change and become black. (no racism intended) (nfph: and none inferred, i’m sure)
2198: Forget that you have a test tomorrow
2199: Walk among the decapitated
2200: Float above the ground
2201: Eat your phone
2202: Call your phone to know what it feels like, having swallowed a phone
2203: Get a mac or two
2204: Ask people to record voiceovers
2205: Go to the store
2206: Buy food
2207: Watch that 1 object you’ve always wanted through the store’s windows
2208: Keep watching till the store closes and the lights go out
2209: Watch the object sitting there, all alone
2210: Go and sit next to it to give it company
2211: When the store reopens go home
2212: Come back the next day
2213: Have weird ideas and suggestions
2214: Dominate
2215: Make a bomb in chemistry class
2216: make a mini nuke to watch that awesome shroom grow
2217: Grow shrooms
2218: Eat shrooms
2219: Don’t do drugs
2220: keep on going
2221: think about the following: Time outlives everything, only when there’s nothing left, time will cease to exist since there’s no point to it.
Conclusion 1; god is time
Conclusion 2; create time and you create an alternate reality/dimension.
2222: use alllllllllllllllllll the 2s.
2223: worry about AG sometimes.
2224: selfishly plug your own name into your updates
2225: shamelessly plug Hellz name into Hellz posts
2226: stupify bitches with your freestyling
2227: secretly cry cuz your ego is a mess and you hate yourself but cant assert any portion of your ******* existence
2228: get drunk, hire a hooker, suffer whiskey dick, play video games… you payed up front (you got pictures!!!)

---------- Post added at 11:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:43 PM ----------

hahahahahaha… i just saw party

i get it you funny brit you. color me red white and blue with respect… but in englands version… tonight only, im american after all

---------- Post added at 11:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:46 PM ----------

and triple post cuz i realized ive asked for dudes to buy me **** (and sometimes Mis) multiple times in this thread.

2229: don’t get drunk like that green goblin up there
2230: declare hobgoblin > green goblin
2231: Measure a hobgoblin and a green goblin to certify the mathematical equation
Hobgoblin>green goblin
2232: Prove Einstein wrong.
2233: Carry the 2
2234: Say sorry to dead Einstein and say he’s right (cus u forgot to carry the 2)
2235: Build a car out of ice, preferably with ac, and try to ride it before it melts.
2236: Try to ride inside a car with Mark Levinson.
2237: Jump out of car headfirst into pavement.
2238: remember to hit the save button.
2239: Become a griefer in “open world” games like Fallout 3/NV ,GTA, Saint’s Row or TES/Skyrim. Nothing satisfies more than beating the **** out of or setting fire to random virtual people. An example.
2240: Eat sum tatoez
2242: insult spam bots
2243: Buy some Uggs.
2244: Play scrabble with a crowation (croation?)
2245: Quarter to eleven.
2246: Eat everybody so your the only one that post anything.
2247: Shoot people in the knee.
2248: TRIPLE ARROW someone’s knee.
2249: Get asked to bring your laptop to class
2250: Don’t bring your laptop to class
2251: Explain why you didn’t brinf your laptop to class
2252: Cry in a corner
2253: Eventho you don’t have your laptop in class, be able to follow like a BAWZ
2254: Learn math
2255: Enjoy math
2256: Simplify math
2257: Become a math professor
2258: Be bored in math class
2259: Doubt wether to skip the next class since it’s easy
2260: Enjoy ph’s wonderful statements
2261: Create a teaser trailer
2262: Create a trailer
2263: Announce a release date
2264: Be an anchor.
2265: Laugh at your own joke because no one else will
2267: Make a joke
2268: Make a knock knock joke
2269: Follow the same guy around until he answers the bloody door
2270: Forget your knock knock joke when he answers
2271: Remember your knock knock joke and tell it to strangers
Knock knock
“who’s there?”
Interrupting cow
“interrupting cow…”
2272: get off work at 6 in the morning to discover your dog has eaten his steel kennel.
2273: drink Yuengling with your breakfast/dinner of hotdogs and beef ramen.
2274: lament the meal you just had at 7 in the morning.
2275: drink Yuengling all day long.
2276: around 7 in the evening, get hungry again and realize your options for dinner are hotdogs and ramen.
2277: forget you’ve already endured the above horror thanks to the case of Yuengling you’ve put away so far today.
2278: remember that you’ve had the exact same meal twice in one day about half way through the second.
2279: lament.
2280: lament.
2281: drink another Yuengling and go to sleep.
2282: drink a little something in memory of magical.
2283: Alliterate.
2284: Agitate an aardvark.
2285: Accelerate an avalanche.
2286: Achieve an aspiration.
2287: Aspire at an achievement.
2288: Laugh at soap operas (where you are supposed to cry or feel sentimental)
2289: Argue that you were right
2290: Switch to Man vs Wild in between
2291: Walk into a room and forget why you walked in there.
2292: Shout at ducks. (nfph: Bill Bailey I presume?)
2293: buy a bread of 3,70 euros
2294: enjoy the bread like it was the last thing on earth
2295: get overexcited because of said bread
2296: eat the whole bread at once
2297: delicious bread
2298: Listen for classic rock so much you feel like you grew up in the 60s and 70s…
2299: Get ready for finals week
2300: Tell AG if he was locked in a room full of food (a month supply) for a month he would starve because he ate it all on day one
2301: ^tell some specific person he’s a bastard -_-
2302: Find cat

Play with cat

Annoy cat

Cat scratch you

Shoat at cat

Get confused when cat doesn’t answer

Shoat at cat some more

Put a plaster on your wound from cat

Say the word cat too much in a post




2303: Wonder what a shoat is.
2304: Suggest that it’s a misspelt shout.
2305: Develop your own Noble Phantasm.
2306: Win the Holy Grail War.
2307: Profit.

2308: shout BOOM HEADSHOT! then shoot yourself in the head.
2309: Unleash the forces of light and dark upon an unsuspecting world.
2310: Exchange your money for Zimbabwe single dollar notes and fill your house/yard with cash.
2311: Apply to be a researcher or security guard at Black Mesa facility, and Get a game made on yer exploits.
2312: Summon Saber and win the Holy Grail War.
2313: Bring back the use of tags from the dead.
2314: wonder why one does #10.
2315: okay, really worry about AG now.
2316: Hear a sound that is most likely the guitar or some technical issue in Boston’s song “More than a Feeling” but question your sanity (not in this thread though) since it sounds just like an arrow being fired in one of The Elder Scrolls game…
2317: Worship the greek goddess of chaos. you know it’s all her fault.
2318: make everyone believe you’re dead
2319: surprise them 10 years after
2320: Admire PH’s signature
2321: be inpatient for the holidays to come
2322: enjoy them holidays
2323: realize them holidays wont be holidays since ya gotta study.
2324: Get Psychic a turdgeon sig for the sanity thread after 9 months of asking for it/discussing it.
2325: finally get around to something you’ve been putting off for far too long.
2326: watch this in HD till you’re satisfied.
2327: Watch this until you’re satisfied.
2328: Make sure this thread stays on the first page.
2330: Make sure you remember to remind someone to do something important for you.
2331: Realize you only have 4 nutty bars left.
2332: Ponder what will become of you when you run out of nutty bars.
2333: Sit and relax after your first week of classes back at college (or other educational institution if you aren’t in college).
2334: Listen to the new nightwish album while you wait for videos to buffer.
2335: Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, now don’t stop unless you need to to avoid filling your lungs with something harmful but resume as soon as you safely can afterwards.
2336: Post a ton of suggestions for the first time in a long time after you ran yourself dry of suggestions many moons ago.
2337: Wonder if it will rain this weekend.
2338: As much as you love rain hope it doesn’t rain because its too damn cold to walk around soaking wet.
2339: make someone sad.
2340: Burn down sopa (@doug u did indeed…)
2341: Post a suggest…ion and fal asleep while typing it, the jump back up to finish your sentence and post.
2342: teach a pony to bite off scott tenormans wiener
2343: trick scott tenormans parents into trespassing on the farm and get shot dead
2344: steal bodies, turn into chili, and feed parents to scott tenorman
2345: sick’s even ate.
2346: meet radiohead.
2347: Drink Scott Tenorman’s tears. They are delicious.
2348: Move your hair out of your eyes for the 1,000th time today.
2349: grow titties and Lorraina Bobbett your own junk off to look like Ice’s anime chick avatars.
2350: eat fish (but make the vid private. for whatever reason.)
2351: Eat fish and die.
2352: Listen to Phish and die.
2353: get temporary banned like a bawz looks @ PH
2354: Ponder how an upstanding man like PH could get temporarily banned.
2355: Ponder if we could get PH un-banned by somehow blaming it all on tyr.
2356: Cross that bridge when get there.
2357: Welcome PH back from the grave.
2358: Wait for Hellz to be unbanned.
2359: Make the most annoying sound in Hyrule.
2360: drink one for a fallen forum member
2361: celebrate the sanity thread’s update
2362: master time and laugh @ the current thread title.
2363: Masturbate, but not furiously, in a basement, whilst crying.
2364: Become a self-aware bowl of petunias.
2365: Determine The Ultimate Question to The Ultimate Answer.
2366: Breed an infinite number of monkeys to write a script for Hamlet.
2367: Eat clorox, with a spoon
2368: finally find a potential solution for a long lasting problem
2369: dig into a potential solution finding out if it is an actual solution
2370: contact people to find out more
2371: make friends
2372: I know, pretend you’re a hater, blurt racist ■■■■■■■■ for fun. Plenty of people are standing by waiting for their moment to wage their own personal “DON’T SAY THAT!” war.“Joke’s on you.” never seems to sink in.
2373: #swag
2374: get a tattoo
2375: just go ransacking all over all of pandora.
2376: Because of the amount of things of masturbation, why not get a girlfriend? But that might make it worse… But that’s when 2363 comes in handy, literaly.
2377: Become Apple guys friend,
2378: Go on an epic quest for mountain dew
2379: Build a time machine, go back in time and stop yourself from building a time machine.
2380: Share your insightful observations on McDonald’s and the general world around you.
2381: Be curious about others’ observations of McDonald’s and the general world around them.
2382: Question others’ suggestions.
2383: Have some of “the world’s best pizza.”
2384: dont go insane
2385: Get pointless hardware upgrades to your computer.
2386: Then you put it in a little red scootie wagon and pull it around town. You can’t JUST WAIT for a challenger to randomly walk into your home. You gotta advertise in public view. If you’re gonna battle rigs you gotta take them where the action is.
2387: Call for backup
2388: Bring the pain
2389: Don’t cross the streams
2390: Wear clean underwear (or go commando)
2391: google lyrics of a song you vaguely remember
2392: play black ops zombs for 7 hours straight
2393: Watch an otherwise bad movie again (for the 4th time) because you love the sexy female lead character
2394: Train some crabbies to be a Sir
2395: Feel sad that after a long time of not posting in a thread you are at the third most posts in said thread out of anyone.
2396: Realize said thread it the fabled forum sanity thread and feel like a badass.
2397: Feel nostalgic for the days when you had epic suggestion battles with postw that had a gazillion suggestions.
2398: Realize once you begin suggesting again you’ll unleash the monster that flooded the OP with a gazillion suggestions.
2399: Hold on to the last shred of humanity in your soul as you battle the monster on the astral plane for control of your body.
2400: After what seemed like decades of epic combat but was only a second or two win back control of your body and refrain from assaulting the mythical forum sanity thread.
2401: Realize you are that monster and you just defeated yourself.
2402: Also realize that you won and you are the monster.
2403: Continue to post suggestions in the legendary forum sanity thread after all that^^.
2404: Once again run out of original suggestions and feel sad
2405: Don’t feel sad because you have a paper to finish and another one to write before next week and you have to be a boss to kick their asses.
2406: Overcome your laziness with shear willpower and go back to work.
2407: Watch DBZ abridged because it is hilarious.
2408: Get the last post in this thread.
2409: ride the metro
2410: go to a museum
2411:: support a cause
2412: just believe
2413: Start fires on Minecraft. Oh, like I’m the only person that does that(!). (suggested by Engel220, okay? That’s E…n…g…e…l…2…2…0.)
2414: come home after an exhausting day of work and chillax
2415: buy a beer recommended by gnawiron
2416: poop.
2417: score
2418: Watch 1950’s episodes of What’s My Line and I’ve Got A Secret on Youtube.
2419: Train a monkey to play the game you dont want and then throw poo at the developers faces.
2420: buy a headset and don’t like it2421: Get banned again and mourn the loss of the jail cell sub forum
2421: Pick out some new pants for BL2 FRI testing.
2422: Refer an enraged PsychicCharizard to his own thread.
2423: if you ever meet Bill Gates, ensure he gets such a kicking.
2424: Remove iTunes from PC (hint to PH)
2425: Kick Bill’s nards for me one time PH. Kick them like you’ve never kicked before! Also…
2426: #whatever) Lick em, stick em, send them on their way.
2427: meet up with PH and go visit bill gates
2428: shoot them. shoot them all!
2429: Learn to play Nude Bagpipes. ( You figure it out )
2430: don’t figure out how to play nude bagpipes… seriously…
2431: RAGE! on windows but be so relieved when everything’s working as planned
2432: create a walking stick with monocle and tophat
2433: work 50days without paying tax /year
2434: meet up with tha REEEPR man!
2435: get a sex change
2436: get a name change
2437: get change from a cashier
2438: cash in on your rear
2439: get promoted to rear admiral in the navy
2440: sing in the navy
2441: go ****
2442: get offended
2443: eat a carrot
2444: insert a carrot
2445: get addicted to cigarettes
2446: get addicted to crack
2447: quit crack
2448: damn tobacco to hell cuz its too hard to quit
2449: quit smoking
2450: relapse on crack
2451: crack an egg on the skillet
2452: eat egg
2453: forget to turn off burner
2454: burn down house
2455: live in your car
2456: steal a car
2457: sell stolen vehicle to afford food
2458: steal bread anyways
2459: use funds from selling stolen automobile to pay for rehab
2460: break out of rehab
2461: get caught
2462: go to rehab again
2463: quit crack… again
2464: pick up smoking
2465: regret
2466: pm Hellz cuz his inbox is no longer full
2467: **** off
2468: Who do we appreciate?
2469: feel bad cuz Hellz is a heartless bastard
2470: disrupt the unveiling of Psychichazard’s turdgeon wiki
2471: disrespect the makers of the turdgeon
2472: disrespect Hellz
2473: check ritalin dosage
2474: OD
2475: be a fool
2476: do it all again and expect a different outcome
2477: find the elusive c.
2478: see a giraffe give birth, the baby giraffe seriously just falls 10 feet to the ground, and pokes its head out of the uterin sac. its gross
2479: vomit
2480: vomit for fun
2481: vomit for self esteem
2482: just quit already
2483: ^Be on a roll
2484: Join this “Meet up” betwixed AG & Tha REEEPR man.
2485: Make sure it’s not a drug deal O_o
2486: With 5 mins to go till server shutdown in DCUO, enter, warp to Gotham, find Heat wave, kill him, warp to the watchtower, run & warp to Central City, buy your new Amped assault boots. Do all that in under 5 minutes including loading screens. Be awsome.
2487: Buy up every last Twinkie you find, learn about “Real” supply & demand when Hostess closes forever.
2488: Miss Twinkies when Hostess closes forever.
2489: Enjoy selling those Twinkies you bought to the highest bidder.
2490: Use Twinkie money to build a new company that makes Tweenkehs!
2491: Become the new God of snackfoods.
2492: Ask where the fitting room is when buying a box of condoms.
2493: buy an expensive piece of hardware and become happy after discovering how good it is
2494: discover a flaw in software the device is used with
2495: love the customer support for high likely implementing your requested feature
2496: sigh explain sexual expressions to a 19 year old…
2487: remind PH to do something special for his 5000th post so we can all celebrate
2488: “fight the urge to poo with all your might” - venomous
2489: wish ph a happy birthday
2490: Make a sh!tty Monty Python parody and name it after PH for his birthday…(nfph: Yeah…maletights, i never did work out was this was about…)
2491: Paint your girlfriend’s breasts to look like Kirby and Jigglypuff and have a puppet fight.
2492: get in the skype group chat and enjoy the chat’s picture…
2493: eat/enjoy whipped cream…
2494: Slap someone in the face with a bag of coffee.
2495: wake up to realize you just got slapped in the face with a bag of coffee
2496: sniff up that coffee
2497: Listen to Megadeth’s “Angry Again”. Venting it out through music helps
2498: tell Ddubs to change his avy because there’s too many ppl on the forums using it
2499: Kiss someone upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat.
2500: Turn everything people say into very perverted things.
2500: scream to the stars and beyond!
the coolest
2502: don’t watch prometheus until the thread is updated
2503: update the god damn thread
2504: realize only PH can do that
2505: annoy PH <3
2506: scream loud enough to crack a whole in the world!
2507: Scream at PH to update the OP.
2508: Realize out of all the threads on the forum this is consistently the most entertaining and much better than many of the BL2 threads that have been repeated to oblivion, to the third layer of hell, down to the sixth, up the river stix, down every road called “Mainstreet” and back to the forum by people who don’t read the forum rules.
2509: create a complex sentence that doesn’t look like a sentence at all, but, after reading several times, actually is a logical sentence.
2510: Make a Primus reference that goes way over Apple Guys head.
2511: Become a fisherman.
2512: Drink some pork soda.
2513: Become a racecar driver.
2514: Rename yourself “Mud”
2515: Use the calming sent of lavender and rosemary to let yourself unwind and retire your unhappy thoughts. Free your mind of those dreadful bandits and let a new symbol enter your mind’s eye: a peaceful flower, blowing effortlessly in the wind.

This flower reminds you of your youth, and how this time has helped you become the person you are today. Let no negative remembrances cloud your view of this flower. It is just like you. It goes to sleep at night just as you do. You might feel a little sad for the flower for not having a soft and comfortable bed to sleep in. Don’t be alarmed; just like you, this flower has a perfect place-- a perfect balance in the world that reflects it’s way of life. You do too! Feel the syncronicity in the way you breathe with the heart that beats effortlessly in your chest.

If you feel a little tense, still: breathe in. Breathe in and breathe out. If your nose makes a high whisling noise when you breathe in: laugh. It’s good to laugh about these things. You begin to wonder how long it’s been since you last laughed. Was it yesterday, was it only a couple seconds ago? You remember so very vividly, now, the reason why you stopped to calm yourself. It was because you wanted to feel relaxed.

This is your cue. Close your eyes. Count from 10 all the way down to one.

Now, open your eyes and say to yourself quietly, “That’s much better.”

2516: Don’t read the post above you because it’s too long.
2517: Walk into a crowded elevator and say “You’re all probably wondering why I’ve called you here today.” Then hit the close door button and back out.
2518: restart the time
2519: double post
2510: triple post
2512: Find a new reason to hate steam……php?t=1782639
2513: Be forced to kill the Housecarl for Hjerim because he picked a fight with your follower over an item you dropped so you could place it on a shelf…
RIP Calder… though I barely knew ye.
2514: on behalf of the skype crew; masturbate furiously, in a corner whilst crying
2515: Sing the Reading Rainbow theme, in a corner whilst crying.…&v=Ziw3nHCHEJw
2516: start a 1 way file transfer over skype…cancel it at the last several KB
2517: sharpen a knife
2518: be nice
2519: Cut up Apple Guys stomach, tie him up in a chair with his own intestines and take a lawn mower to his limbs one by one…
2520: finally understand how people get infractions…(Ag has none)
2521: Ignore arguements that start like this one: (nfph: There are going to be some suggestions that refer to this joyful episode. I might just cut them. Yeah. I will. Some of them, anyway.)
2522: Eat a pineapple.
2523: Purposefully use bad grammer.
2524: On purpose use spelling bad.
2525: 25
2526: Play Monopoly.
2527: Get the 1470th post in this thread.
2528: Stop being a dick in PH’s thread.
2529: Seriously stop. Go be a dick somewhere else.
2530: Ignore all of the negativity on the last few pages of this thread.
2531: Have 15 steam games in your library when you only bought 3 of them.
2532: Wonder how you have come to have such good friends you’ve never met before.
2533: Guess the approximate time it takes for hatchlings to grow into adult, mature swans.
2534: Get a trashy shield.
2535: Build an electromagnet.
2536: Now, what would happen if you put them together? watch me ponder now
2537: Make a brryrndll ponder.
2538: Get. ninjad. in. every. *******. thread.
2539: Almost trick dacheat into thinking you’re 453 pounds.
2541: #10, but with antifreeze
2542: Unknowingly fulfill you’re own suggestion.
2543: see a doctor
2544: grow a pair
2545: stitch your mouth shut
2546: chop your hands off
2547: wait for valve to perfect eye controlled clicker, then respond
2548: kill CiG
2549: quit (may have posted this one before)
2550: develop cognitive reasoning skills as to understand you cant argue with a fool
2551: argue with a fool
2552: fool an argument
2553: turn off the computer and go outside
2554: play in the street
2555: fall asleep in the street using a carpet as a blanket
2556: Fall asleep in the sky with a magic carpet as a blanket.
2557: wait until someone comes around, and then make your london london bridge wanna go down.
2558: Change a poopy diaper with no whipes while eating a tuna sandwich
2559: Ninja Bacon so his post doesn’t make sense
2560: derail a train
2561: throw a stick into some dudes bike spokes
2562: shoot a few holes through the bottom of your boat
2563: forget your wings, and hop off the cliff
2564: crash and burn, just burn out
2556: make a conclusion, but keep it to yourself
2557: give advice with a specific tone
2558: analyze the tone in a voice
2559: be on the edge of rage even though you don’t really know why
2560: protect this thread at all costs
2561: give your life for this thread
2562: sacrifice for the greater good
2563: get happy when you’re on topic
2564: LOL @ hellz for being so kewl and funny
2565: be amazed by how many suggestions we keep on creating
2566: read the forums while at work
2567: get back to work
2568: forget why you came here in the first place;
2569: sing a song that annoys a certain someone who goes by the certain name of; Watho
“gimme all your luv, just give me your luv, gimme all your love today”
“Don’t play the stupid game cuz i’m a different kind of girl…”
2570: hope that watho reads teh above
2571: recommend everyone to check this **** oooooouuuuuuuut
2572: Play Cave Story. No, seriously, play it. The game is so full of awesome and it’s even incredibly difficult. The last level of the normal ending is difficult enough but the final level (Hell) is damn near impossible. Fun game, y’all should give it a try.
2573: be on a laughing spree
2574: laugh for 1 minute continuously
2575: make other people laugh with the way you laugh looks @ don
2576: wonder how you laugh heard by someone else
2577: aparently they say i laugh crazy, put that to test…
2578: hope to laugh real hard even though you barely laugh that hard
2579: wonder why you actually laughed so hard
2580: fail to remember why you laughed so hard
2581: make a ****ton of suggestions regarding laughing
2582: love PH with all your heart
2583: get back on the freaggin topic
2584: Make a Built to spill reference that goes way over Apple guys head.
2585: Embrace conventional wisdom in an unconventional world.
2586: Wonder how the world would be like if nothing was strange.
2587: Go against your mind.
2588: Sit at a railway station while reading books about intimidation.
2589: See someone get stoned on a crowded busy desert afternoon.
2590: Get a game gifted to you Give her a big hug over the phone/chat
2591: Ask a friend to buy the same game and play with you. He tells you to **** off. You kick his ass
2592: spend the first 3 hours of your “work” day reading the forums and posting and stuff
2593: create spare time at work by working too fast
2594: get a contract for a week
2595: now do the job for a week in 1 day
2596: enjoy spare time
2597: somehow get another contract for 1 week even though your job was finished
2598: keep extending your contracts somehow
2599: make rediculously longs posts
2600: Make an abnormally long post. (nfph: Come on, you’re trolling me now, right?
2601: Use your/you’re three times in one post, but only get 1/3 correct.
2602: Become a cloud.
2603: Post suggestions at 5:08 am even though you have to be up at 8.
2604: Realize that by the time you are done posting, it will be past 5:08.
2605: Domesticate an ostrich.
2606: Solve mysteries in a van with a group of people and a dog.
2607: Poop.(again? Really?)
2608: Play wheelchair basketball.
2609: Take up knitting.
2610: Make love not war.
2611: Spout off hippy phrases in hopes of forum peace.
2612: Wear tie-dye clothing.
2613: Calm down.
2614: Run out of suggestions for the moment because it is some time after 5:08 am and you are tired and want to sleep.
2615: **** up your sig not once, not twice, but trice
2516: blaim an aweful tutorial xD
2617: realize the actualy problem is yourself
2618: wish nola good luck with waking up
2619: call nola norra instead
2611: Do a #10 or #2363 at work without getting caught.
2612: Decide you probably aren’t gonna go to bed because you aren’t really tired anymore.
2613: Put people on “Ignore list”
2614: Eagerly await your pre-ordered games
2615: Look at wallet and cry
2616: Hear the wallet use offensive language at you
2617: Wake up to find it was a dream
2618: Go for long walks in the night
2619: Curse the hellish hot weather
2620: Pre-order “Quantum Conundrum” since Kim Swift of Portal 1 and 2 is making it
2621: Pre-order Krater because the devs are so awesome and the game is shaping nicely
2622: Pre-order TL 2 cuz why NOT ?
2623: Apply for ALL the beta.
2624: Play the said betas. Comment on forum and help the devs
2625: Tell AG to buy Diablo 3 so we can record and do a commentary
2626: Hit AG if he is still making excuses
2627: Make that build thread that you have been putting off for so long
2628: Keep putting it off.
2629: Play a monk in D3 so you can maintain the same tranquility IRL
2630: Fail at it --
2631: Get killed by a boss pack. Get close to raging.
2632: Go back to play mage/range Wiz/Demon Hunter and rejoice
2633: Nudge AG to see D3 gameplay vids on YT
2634: Listen to some Dire straits.
2635: Punch a concrete wall.
2636: Be told that you are the concrete wall.
2627: Realize that the concrete wall punched you.
2628: Realize that you are in an ‘M. Night Shyamalan’ movie.
2629: Remind people of Newton’s laws so in case they punch the wall, they get punched (theoretically) back in equal force
2630: Listen to “Walk of life” and “Romeo and Juliet” from Dire Straits
2631: Remember the good old days when you used to listen to that thinking of someone
2632: Smile at nostalgic memories
2633: Try to get back to work -
2634: Get nostalgic memories from Dire straits as well.
2635: Start to cry in a corner.
2636: Check out an old forum to see how stupid you were about 4 years ago.
2637: Build a slingshot
2638: Break window glasses
2629: Run away when chased by angry owner
2640: Go to an ATM machine to bask in the glory of the Air conditioner there
2641: Eat mangoes. Lots of 'em
2642: Just remember that the “mango festival” has started :open_mouth:
2643: Try to read ALL the articles and see ALL pics on it.
2644: Drool at over more than 100 varieties of them
2645: Decides to make PH include “Eating Indian mangoes” and “Drinking mango juice” in his list

2646: Wonder what in enter name of deity or person in place of a deity (if you don’t have one)'s name happened to this thread.
2647: Remedy it by posting suggestions.
2648: Play Trine or Trine 2. If you like platformers, you’ll like em.
2649: Reminds GnawIron to use DW’s full name with titles in case he needs name of a deity
2650: Pray to Sir Michael Deederpwingintonxaurous Reximus Maximus Smith III PhD., MD., NrD. twice daily for favorable weather.
2651: Jerk off with a slice of little caesars pizza (if not fresh, nuke for 15 seconds first)
2652: Eat a stick of butter wrapped in bacon, then wash it down with bacon grease
2653: Drown yourself in a Deep-fryer
2654: Go apple bobbing in a Deep-fryer
2655: Tell people your K/D in _____ is not that great because you let other people on your account play online.
2656: Call your mom and say you love her.
2657: Call your grandma and tell her that you love her cookies.
2658: Eat your grandma’s cookies.
2659: Grow sideburns.
2660: Call your Aunts and Uncles and tell them you love and appreciate them.
2661: Find Chrispy’s grandma and eat her cookie (nfph: Really hope that’s not a euphemism)

Whilst I can verify the effectiveness of some of the ‘relaxation techniques’, I take absolutely no, that is zero, nada, none, zip, zilcho responsibility for the effectiveness of any of the above activities, or any injuries sustained as a result of experimentation. Also, no-one gets out of this thread alive, k?

*They are probably fictional, tbh.

**disclamier/ do this can also make you INSANE

$$$Special Thanks for this thread go to Adamf for allowing this to to continue.The Original version (locked, btw) can still be found here.$$$

If you post links here that breach the forum rules I will have no option but to unleash all kinds of forum hell upon you… You have been warned.

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So long as I can have a #10, all is right with the world.

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252: See how many times you can come.

I came reading all that

Forums rules state I can not simply put" This ^"

I fully conquer with the above statement.

Edit: woo drag quoting is epic.

Just getting the first quote batch, but at first I didn’t see the o in there and I thought. What is this guy doing to his cat?

Banging your head against the wall trying to get used to this new interface.
Wow there’s a word, did I use it right? :stuck_out_tongue:

not at the same time I hope…

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Let your cat type with your keyboard instead of you.

Masturbating furiously?

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And the thread spirals further into the gutter…

But seriously, I love this thread, because it has a message - if something offends you on the Internet, just close your web browser, walk away, and enjoy real life instead. I need to remember this advice more often.

Eat a few handfuls of chocolate covered raisins.

Going through the forum and checking out all the threads you missed because you only bother checking the ones that you’re tracking.

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