The Ask The Aviants Holoshow!

Battleborn Battleborn General Discussion
#5290

TOBY (defensive):
I’m not stuck! I just need to… Uh… P-Pick a diffrent angle! Just give me a sec!

Toby then proceeds to try and back Berg out of the doorway, squeeze him out sideways, and otherwise try every angle he can to get the overloaded mech through the shuttle’s door, as if Berg were a couch; much angry muttering accompanying this practice. Suddenly, Larry and Ernest hear a cute smooching sound as Toby’s personalized audio phone effect for Pam goes off, followed by the sound of Toby typing a response to Pam’s message.

"Yep! Berg’s gieger counter is working perfectly! We’re heading out now, and i don’t know if i’ll be able to respond for awhile… I-

LARRY:
ARE YOU REALLY TEXTING RIGHT NOW?!

TOBY (blushing):
You’ll understand when you’re married…

Toby resumes his text:

-Love you, and hope that we find Tony soon, so that a can prove it with a beak-rub! <3 <3 <3"

Toby hangs up and then shoots Larry an apologetic look, momentarily forgetting who the adult is.

TOBY:
Sorry… Anyways, i admit that we’re stuck, b-but i have an idea!

Toby uses Berg’s new guided mini-rocket launcher to blow the top part of the shuttle’s door open, earning him an angry look from Larry that the Finisci knows is mirrored on Ernest’s face. He blushes again.

TOBY (quietly):
Hey, it worked, didn’t it…? I’ll pay for it when we get back, i sw- Uh… -maybe!

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#5291

Knowing Toby’s gonna be all sorts of busy and distracted, she sends a simple reply: “:heart_eyes: :kissing_heart: :penguin:” and gets back to work on that cake.

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#5292

Thorn looks over Pam’s shoulder as she texts Toby and shakes her head. “Smoochiebird? I may call Monty my big, hugable teddy bear, but smoochiebird? Maybe I should start calling Monty huggabutt? Nah.” Thorn turns to leave, but stops at the doorway and turns back to Pam. “I’ll say hello to smoochiebutt the next time I see him.” She laughs and exits the kitchen.

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#5293

Mike comes running back onto the set still wearing his cowboy hat. “Where’s that wild foxy-thing? I want a rematch!” Upon spying the fox sentry, he runs towards her and and leaps towards her neck. Just as he’s about to land, he’s yanked back by a hook. “Not so fast, son,” Ghalt reprimands him. “Don’t you have something else to do?”

Mike looks at Ghalt and snaps a sharp salute. “Sir, no sir!”

Ghalt looks from Mike to the destroyed 4th wall. “Now you do, son. Go help the crew repair that wall and do not break it again. Copy?”

“Sir, yes sir!”

Ghalt shakes his head as Mike runs off to help the crew repairing the wall. He then turns to the fox sentry and extends a hand before retracting it in embarrassment. “Ah, sorry. I sometimes forget not all of you sentries have hands. Anyway, I’m Captain Ghalt, captain of the Nova. And you are a Foxtrot-1 Fox Sentry designated as…” He pauses as he looks through some paperwork. “Interesting. Your designation wasn’t included. Anyway, welcome aboard.” He puts the paperwork away and gestures at the set. “This is the Ask the Aviants Holoshow. Don’t worry if you don’t know what an aviant is, you’ll learn soon enough once they return from their mission. Your mission is to help keep order in here because we’ve had a few…incidents and could use the extra manpower, or sentry power if you prefer.” He glances over at the constructor bot. “I see you’ve already met our other resident AI, the Constructor Bot. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, but I would advise that you don’t dance near it because dancing sets it off sometimes.” He turns back to the sentry bot. “Anyway, welcome aboard. I’m sure you have many questions and I’m here to answer them. Fire away.”

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#5294

a minute later

tired-faced individual approaches Ghalt
SUPERVISOR (BEN) Sir, I’ll be honest with you. The last month was a grinder for the crew, and the strike was looming over the show day by day. Me and boys have been talking and they’ve set the things strait: they don’t want Oscar anywhere near the construction site.
BEN Or we go on strike! Laterz.

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#5295

the Philippe’s sensors were still going absolutely crazy with ‘pings’ for life forms dug in amidst the jagged ruins of the Detritus Rung sector being scanned. There must be some way to narrow the results down. Tannis’ agile mind races. Suddenly, like a lightning bolt, inspiration strikes. Hadn’t the UPR dreadnought in the area sent Tony down a shipment of supplies? And the UPR must have some way of tracking what they send out. Tannis sends out a message on all frequencies

TANNIS: This is Tannis calling Commander Ghalt, Ernest, and Benedict. You all served with the UPR. Do any of you remember or still have access to any of the frequencies that the UPR use to track shipments and personnel they have sent out into the field? If I can narrow my scan down to those frequencues, I should be able to lock down the location of the supply shipment that Sector Commander Philips had dropped, and I would imagine that Tony is still somewhere in that area.

( @gulfwulf @benedict_87 @nbrownlie237 )

3 Likes
#5296

Larry: If we get back. That sh*t is no way gonna be spaceworthy.

Ernest: OI! Don’t go blowin’ up me shuttle, unless yer gonna do the whole damn thing!

Larry: Yeah, and that’s just so much better.

Ernest: Shaddup! Explosions are toys! Not tools! You gotta take a… go big or go dead mentality with dis sh*t. Ain’t nobody like small explosions, my fine self included.

Ernest whacks the grip of his launcher on Berg’s hull. Let’s be gettin’ goin’, ya? We go that other… fenisco… chip… dude teh find.

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#5297

TOBY (irritated):
Alright, alright…! QUIT RUSHING ME!! You did say that you wanted a real explosion, right…? That gives me an excuse to test out Berg’s rocket pods!

Toby turns Berg at an angle to the ruined shuttle, so that both he and Ernest can see it. He then anchors the mech to the ground using the spikes in Berg’s feet, and presses a button on the touch screen which pops the covers off of the rocket pods. Moments later, Berg jerks from the recoil as Toby fires several of the pods, but the mech remains steadily affixed to the ground. Both Toby and Ernest voice a cheer as the rockets slam into the shuttle and detonate, blowing it to pieces. Larry just face-talons.

TOBY:
I love hanging out with you guys! Sorry… Was that too personal…? L-Let’s just go… Sorry…

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#5298

Ghalt stops and looks at Ben. “You do realize that if you go on strike you don’t get paid? But I can see how Private Mike can be a bit of a nuisance.” He yells at Mike, “Soldier! I need a tally of cargo bay B ASAP!”

“Sir, yes sir!”

Ghalt turns back to Ben. “Is that sufficient?” Before Ben can answer Ghalt’s commlink beeps. He holds up a hand. “Hold that thought, son.” He reads the message from Tannis and calls her back. “Tannis? Ghalt. I’ll send you those coordinates ASAP. Let me know if you need anything else and good hunting.” He closes the commlink and turns back to Ben. “Was there anything else?”

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#5299

The Constructor hovers back a few inches, not understanding what the new AI is inquiring about

The Constructor hovers back another few inches, really not understanding what the new AI is inquiring about

…

I do not Understand…

Inquiry. What is Ghost?

Then Ghalt gives his welcome speech. Constructor takes note of this new machines “designation” and… oh boy…

DANCING IS BAD!

…

starts mumbling in code

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#5300

I am not sure if I’m even typing this in right. But I just want everyone to know that I’m rping as a Leg. That’s right I’m just a normal Leg so don’t mind me

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#5301

Fox tilts her head at the Constructor Bot.

“A ghost would ask that very question to make it seem like they weren’t there. Are you trying to throw me off your trail? I promise it won’t work but just in case… A ghost is a living thing that was dead but isn’t anymore and doesn’t have a body. So it tries to steal other peoples chassis!”

Notices Ghalt and becomes extremely excited.

“Oh a person! I love people. Hi, how are you? Oh people are just the best. Until they try to do maintenance on me. I don’t like that. No touchy. Bad touch.”

She looked where Ghalt gestured and mumbled to herself, “Aviants are space birds.” She still didn’t quite understand the point of the location but if it needed her power then she guessed she would share. As long as they didn’t eat up all her batteries. She rather liked this new Captain and was going to ask 20 more questions, like where should she plug in, but his last comment caused a rather unexpected response.

“Fire away. Command understood, engaging arsenal” Eyes glow red as the small turret on her back locks on to the nearest set hand.

Before anyone could lose a leg her eyes blink back to their usual blue and she looks down at the ground confused. “I don’t think I am equipped with a flamethrower. I cannot fulfill that command.” She whimpers, suddenly worried she upset her human friend.

Lucky for this sensitive sentry her attention was extremely short and hearing her ghost come from another direction, this time a human, made her almost dance from joy. Almost. Ghost should stay in people and leave AIs alone. Seeing Constructor Bot freed of the ghastly vermin filled Fox’s artificial heart with butterflies and rainbows. Oh how badly she wanted to dance but It would be wrong to upset her new friend, especially after it also had just recovered from being haunted.

She had yet to realize her gun was still activated and pointed at the unfortunate passerby.

8 Likes
#5302

The ship trembles as the trashit slams its armored tail into the back of the hover tank, sending it careening into soiled diabetic sock mountain. Benedict’s phone buzzes. He grabs it hurls it against the floor. It fractures into a dozen pieces.

BENEDICT:
■■■■!!! WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP ■■■■■■■ CALLING ME IN THE MIDDLE OF FIGHTING THE GIANT ■■■■■■■ ■■■■ MONSTER!!! Y’ALL NEVER WANNA TALK TO ME ANY OTHER TIME, BUT NOW, ALL OF A SUDDEN… ■■■■!!!

Benedict initiates a quick maneuver and the hover tank narrowly avoids having the trashit’s jaws crush the cockpit.

BENEDICT:
Alright, this thing is REALLY startin’ to piss me off… GUNNY! FIRE SOMETHIN’ TO DISTRACT IT, BUT REMEMBER, MAKE SURE IT DON’T PUNCTURE THAT THROAT SACK!!!

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#5303

Ghalt quickly raised his hands. “Hold on there, kiddo. When I said fire away, I meant ask me any questions you had, not, you know, actually fire your weaponry. Speaking of which, please stand down because you’re making me rather nervous.” After the sentry bot lowered her weapon, Ghalt ran a hand over his sweating forehead. “Okay, now that’s dealt with, what questions do you have for me?”

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#5304

…

That is illogical. I do not understand. Destruction is absolute…

The Constructor Bot then notices the new AI entering a combat state, and becomes a bit edgy. Constructor is the dominant AI… Constructor is Superior. New machine is threat to territory… Yet the big bot doest enter combat mode and just grumbles in its native language. Too much construction going on. Construction is good. Weapons fire would cause deconstruction of construction blocks. New machine also a curiosity…

Meanwhile in a back hallway, Bill and Ted noticed the new sentry arival and begin to jump up and down in happiness. It’s about damn time they got a sentry that could keep a constructor bot in line.

Said Constructor Bot then suddenly moves back to the main stage to continue its “Constructor Show” nonsence, causing the janitor duo’s jumps to convert from happiness to panic. They scatter away before the Constructor can notice them.

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#5305

A few hours later, and Berg is still trekking slowly across the dusty surface. Larry sits on top of the mech’s shoulder, Toby is laid back in the cockpit, and Ernest is swinging happily from his duct-tape harness, drunkenly singing songs with many many wrong lyrics.

Ernest: It’s nine o’clock on a saturdayyyyyyy… the regular c^nts shuffle iiiiinnnnnnn… der’s an ol’ maaaaaaan, sittin’ next ta me… jerkin’ off, in his tonic an’ gin. He bashes on the back of the mech with his launcher. Hey! We there yet? I wanna go blow sum stuff up.

Larry: I don’t think that’s how the song goes, dad.

Ernest: Well, how else wouldit go? Sing it with me, puke! HE SAYS SON CAN YA PLAY ME A MOLOTOOOOOOOOV? I’M NOT REALLY SURE, HOW IT GOOOOOOOOES… BUT IT’S SAD AND IT’S SWEET AND IT’S PLAYING ALL WEEEEEEEK, WHILE THE UPR BLOWS UP THEIR FOOOOOOOOEEES!.

Larry: Ugh. Can I duct tape his beak shut?

Ernest (his voice now on full form, albeit still slurring): SING US A SOOOOOONG, YOU’RE THE BOMBER BIIIIIIIIIIRB, SING US A SONG TONIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! WELL WE’RE ALL IN THE MOOD FOR EXPLOOOOSIOOOOOOOONS, AND YOU GOT US FEELING LIKE SHIIIIIIIIIIIITE!

Larry: Yup. Definitely not how it goes.

Ernest: Whichever. I reckon I like dis version bettah.

The mech suit trudges on…

7 Likes
#5306

somewhere far, far, beyond the fourth wall, a long dead Billy Joel rolls over in his grave

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#5307

After several more hours of Ernest singing off-key and with improper lyrics, and just when Toby feels like arming Berg’s nuke to end it all, he spots a far-off object on the horizon, which looks suspiciously like an air-drop crate with a parchute trailing in the wind.

TOBY (to Larry):
H-Hey, Larry…? You’ve got Buteonen eyes; what’s that thing way over there? Do you think we should check it out?

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#5308

Tannis shoots off a quick “Thank you!” message to Ghalt before focusing Phillipe’s scan to down to the approximate area provided by the Commander. This time, the scan “pings” only 8 objects; one large and definitely inanimate (this was presumably the shipment), and 7 organic beings. Tightening the parameters of the scan, using Toby and Pam as her baseline, Tannis is able to determine that one of the organic beings, located approximately 10 kicks from from the rest of the beings, is definitely an adult male Finisci. That must be Tony. The rest of the beings must be the shock troopers mentioned having been deployed by the UPR

TANNIS: Clorke, send an urgent message out to Toby, Ernest and Benedict. Inform them that I have found Tony’s exact location at these coordinates and beam all further scan results to them as well. Please also let them know that there are 6 UPR shock troopers en route to his location.

Tannis thinks about what her next action should be. She decides to check in with Thorn, who is no stranger to situations like these

TANNIS: Thorn, do you advise we head down in person in case no one receives this message? Or should we stay here onboard and await word from our comrades?

( @gulfwulf @nbrownlie237 @benedict_87 )

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#5309

Larry: Yer the one with the zoom optic in Berg’s HUD, idiot. Use that.

Ernest: Well I sure as hell can’t see sh*t. Maaaaayybbeee ‘coz I’m goin’ backwards.

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