The Ask The Aviants Holoshow!

Battleborn Battleborn General Discussion
#5330

Gunny clenches a fist and a blade ejects from his gauntlet “well this can be used” when gunny opens his hand it retracts

Gunny also draws a few knives from hidden sheathes “these aren’t my good knives so I can use these for torture including hearing them to cauterize flesh”

From under an armor plate he draws a wire garrote this is for security if there is any*

“Now what I’m thinking is get my cheap knives nice and hot. Then just burning their skin. Until one of us gets bored of course”

After that…well if we feel satisfied…ejects the gauntlet blade again simple

8 Likes
#5332

Tannis continues monitoring and scanning Duston from the safety of the Philippe

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#5333

in the mean time, on the surface
…

DOUG THE SHOCK TROOPER: No, no, no and nope. No arms near this one, just the prods…
DOUG THE SHOCK TROOPER: (menacingly) We are takin’ IT alive.
KEVIN THE SHOCK TROOPER: (amazed) Look at the size of that THING.
DOUG THE SHOCK TROOPER: IT …And yeah, IT’s pretty undersize, even for an Aviant.
burp at the ground level sounds

Bob points his finger at IT’s face
BOB THE SHOCK TROOPER: Why do the higher ups have it in for something as cute as IT? Look at IT, IT’s harmless…
CAM THE PARAMEDIC (DOC): (nervy) Oooh, look out, IT’s wakin’ up sooner we expected!
BOB THE SHOCK TROOPER: Ouuuuch! IT pecked me.
DOC: What?! But I already told you not to…

aparently recalling the Doc’s briefing
BOB THE SHOCK TROOPER: (panicky) OMG! I’m f*cked!
DOC: Lemme look at this!
BOB THE SHOCK TROOPER: (mutters) This ain’t happenin’ man, this ain’ happenin…
DOC: …K, IT didn’t pierce the glove…
BOB THE SHOCK TROOPER: (panicky) Am I gonna be fine? Pls Doc. Tell me I’m gonna be fine.
DOUG THE SHOCK TROOPER: You’ll be fine sissy.

to all around
DOC: Guys, this was at the briefing but I’ll repeat that cuz it’s important. IT is a potential deadly Jennerit-bioengineered desease carrier and you don’t want to catch this.
BOB THE SHOCK TROOPER: Lotsa injections n’ stuff?
KEVIN THE SHOCK TROOPER: Yeah, I was bitten by a rabid cat as a kid, and it was more than you can imagine.
DOC: Well, if you get them in time there will be even more injections. Once the infection establishes in your brain however …
BOB THE SHOCK TROOPER: You die, right Doc?
DOC: Worse, you basically become the walking mindless, bloodthirsty corpse.
BOB THE SHOCK TROOPER: (sweetly) Now IT isn’t braindead walker …Are you lil fella? You won’t attack us in a rage are you?
KEVIN THE SHOCK TROOPER: Oooh, he’s lifitin’!
DOUG THE SHOCK TROOPER: (hastily) We won’t take any chances, PROD IT!
electric surges plus sparks noises and a squeaking sound for a while
…
DOC: (flatly) Aaand bag IT.

7 Likes
#5334

A rocket flies out of nowhere and hits the ground right next to Doc as he’s reaching for “IT.”

BENEDICT: (From behind cover)
Aw, nah nah nah nah nah nah nah. Ain’t nobody gonna be doin’ any “baggin’” right now. Drop yer weapons. All of ya. Now.

BABS THE SHOCK TROOPER:
And just who’s gonna make me?

A camera guided rocket slams into the ground right next to Babs and explodes.

BENEDICT: (From behind cover)
I ain’t gonna ask ya again. And… you… COMM BOY… slide that transmitter over towards the pile of discarded chew toys. I got some calls to make.

Benedict turns to Gunny.

BENEDICT: (To Gunny)
So what’d’ya think? Can we trust these a**holes? Or do ya want a little more time to spy on ‘em an’ see if they’re jackasses?

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#5335

“That depends, I’ll get an easy answer with a quick call to Hak, if he mentions color code black or green then it’s clear. Any other colors means he’s under duress”

8 Likes
#5336

BENEDICT:
Cover me.

Benedict ducks out from behind cover and levels his launcher at the now disarmed shock troopers.

BENEDICT:
Now. I’ll let y’all go… provided I get the answers I want from the comm unit.

He continues to hold his launcher on the troopers as he walks over to the comm unit.

BENEDICT: (Into the comm unit)
Hey Hakey Sack, this is Benedict.

A pause.

CAPTAIN HAKIMZADEH: (Over the radio)
Benedict? But we thought you were…

BENEDICT: (Into the comm unit)
Yeah. One of yer ■■■■■■■■ put a bomb on our hover tank, then tried to make it look like an accident with the trashits. You’ve got a traitor on board. I suggest ya start lookin’ with Supply Officer Daniels. He’s the son-a-bitch who packed our shuttle. I’ll advise ya of our situation when I’m convinced this shock trooper team Sector Commander Phillips sent down is f**kin’ clean.

He switches frequencies on the radio.

BENEDICT: (Into the comm unit)
Nova, my arm’s tired. Come down here an’ keep one of yer weapons trained on these a**holes.

A moment later Benedict’s thunderfalcon appears in the air with a big, nasty canon trained on the shock troopers. He switches frequencies on the radio.

BENEDICT: (Into the comm unit)
Toby…

TOBY: (Over the radio)
I wasn’t jerking off! HONEST!!! I SWEAR!!!

BENEDICT: (Into the comm unit)
That’s nice. Toby… I think we found yer cousin. We’re gonna need an evac if that’s the case.

TOBY: (Over the radio)
Oh… yeah… about that…

BENEDICT: (Into the comm unit)
God f**king dammit… of course you did…

TOBY: (Over the radio)
But wait… I didn’t tell you…

BENEDICT: (Into the comm unit)
You don’t need to, I know EXACTLY what you stupid a**holes did.

He switches frequencies on the radio again.

BENEDICT: (Into the comm unit)
Patty Cakes, this is Benedict. We think we’ve found Tony. We’re gonna need an evac… right after I confirm this is really him. You… bag boy… open it up. I wanna see him.

Doc nods with a glare to Bob. He opens the bag revealing an unconscious scar covered finisci male. Unfortunately…

Benedict switches frequencies on the radio again.

BENEDICT: (Into the comm unit)
Uh… Toby… what does yer cousin look like?

TOBY: (Over the radio)
WHAT?

BENEDICT: (Into the comm unit)
What does yer cousin look like?

TOBY: (Over the radio)
Wait, you don’t KNOW? Haven’t you seen his hologram?

BENEDICT: (Into the comm unit)
Yeah, I’ve seen his HOLOGRAM, and I’ve seen it turn into a LADY too.

TOBY: (Over the radio)
If you’ve seen his hologram you know what he looks like!

BENEDICT: (Into the comm unit)
Ok… well… how do I know he actually looks like his hologram? What if his hologram don’t look like him?

TOBY: (Over the radio)
He looks like his hologram! Does the finisci on the ground look like his hologram or not?

BENEDICT: (Into the comm unit)
Well… uh… he’s a scar covered finisci… uh…

TOBY: (Over the radio)
Well… do the scars look like his scars?

BENEDICT: (Into the comm unit)
Uh… has he got one runnin’ down his face? Uh… looks kinda… uh… jagged…

TOBY: (Over the radio)
Oh… my… f**king… god… you son of a hen! YOU CAN’T TELL TWO DIFFERENT FINISCI APART CAN YOU?

BENEDICT: (Into the comm unit)
Hey! HEY! THIS AIN’T NO RACE THING, A**HOLE!!! I just never really paid much attention to his hologram before!

TOBY: (Over the radio)
You RACIST F**K!!!

BENEDICT: (Into the comm unit)
I AM NOT A RACIST F**K!!!

8 Likes
#5337

NOVA:
You’re a racist f**k, bird boy.

8 Likes
#5338

BENEDICT:
I am NOT!!! I JUST NEVER PAID MUCH ATTENTION TO TONY’S HOLOGRAM BEFORE!!!

Nova activates a holographic echo generator on the thunderfalcon and displays two finisci males right next to each other.

NOVA:
Prove it. Which one of these is Toby?

BENEDICT:
The one with three scars on his back.

NOVA:
They both have three scars on their backs.

BENEDICT:
You… uh… the one on the… uh… left?

NOVA:
Wrong. Neither one is Toby. You’re racist.

BENEDICT:
Oh, COME ON!!! HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL THEM APART!!??

BOB THE SHOCK TROOPER:
Wow… just wow dude.

BENEDICT:
Oh shut-up… like you knew. Actually… you know what… same test… SAME TEST… let’s see if anyone else here can spot the difference between two different finsici.

DOC:
Are you seriously going to do this…

BENEDICT:
YES!!! Gunny! Which one of these finisci is Toby?

Nova displays two different holograms with three scars across their backs.

NOVA:
I super duper swear one of these is actually Toby this time.

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#5339

"The one that goes apeshit over flipper or being called adorable/cute

I just follow the trail of bodies honestly"

6 Likes
#5340

Several hours later, and Ernest has both more booze and a ton of snacks, lounging in his classic deck chair which he is seemingly able to procure from anywhere at any point in time. Or it was in the crate. Either way, Ernest is very much a happy aviant. Larry is sitting laid-back on top of the deactivated Berg, fiddling with his rocket launcher and some shiny-looking special ammunition packs from the crate, and covertly swigging from a bottle of cider.

Larry: Yo. Dad. Check this sh*t out.

He shoulders his launcher and fires it into the air, and the resulting rocket flies a short distance away from the group before igniting a slow-burning propellant and raining a trail of sparks (and possibly napalm) down on the dusty surface for almost a hundred feet.

Ernest grins, rests his launcher behind his head and kicks his feet up on the crate. Niiiiiiice. What else ya got?

Larry: Arighty, lemme see… This one looks cool. I dunno what it does though.

Ernest: Well, fire it off then, puke! Only way ta find out!

Larry loads the rocket into his undersized launcher and fires it into the air again. The rocket spews a trail of bright red smoke as Larry guides it through several corkscrews and an inverted loop, before spinning it around and sending it screaming over the three aviants’ heads, detonating a small distance away on the other side.

Ernest: Camera guided? Come on, you can do better than that.

Larry: Probably can actually. We should set up targets!

Ernest: Tha’s… actually a good plan. Grab the wine bottles outta the crate, ain’t nobody here like wine.

Toby: Uhh… I-I actually think it’s kinda nice… you know?

Ernest: No. Shut up and drink your vodka. No wimp juice for you.

Larry climbs down off Berg and grabs a few bottles, then hesitates, climbs back up onto Berg’s shoulder and shakes out his malformed wings.

Ernest: You ain’t seriously gonna try that again, are ya?

Larry: They been growin’ like sh*t last coupla days. I reckon we can give it a shot.

Ernest: Well, sh*t, your funeral…

Larry waggles his wings a bit, spreads them out to full length, and dives off from his perch, settling into a very wonky glide that is frankly more of a controlled fall. He manages to make some small distance before flipping over and landing on his back.

Ernest: Heeeey, not bad, puke! Landing needs work though. Set the bottles up there, tha’s far enough for some good shootin’.

Larry stands the wine bottles apart in a line, then jogs back to his perch on Berg and loads his rocket launcher.

Larry: Alrighty. I take one, you take one?

Ernest: Deal. You shoot first.

Larry fires his rocket launcher and the resultant shrapnel round (which Larry mistakenly thought was a slug round) destroys all three of the wine bottles, spilling the contents onto the dusty ground.

Ernest: Awww… leave some for the rest of us, why don’t ya?

Larry: Uhhh, happy accident?

Ernest: Bullsh*t. He throws a packet of cat jerky at Larry, nearly knocking him off his perch.

7 Likes
#5341

DOC: God damn man, YOU ARE SERIOUS! Now I sure as hell can tell THIS is nowhere near the guy in the bag. AND THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS.
BENEDICT: Naw, naw, I’m the guy with the gun so I say what matters now.
DOUG THE SHOCK TROOPER: That’s not the case buddy. You see, when you, mossy dudes bursted in, we were im the middle of something. I have no idea what’s in it for the Eldrid or you guys in person, but for the United Peacekeeping Republics this is the epidemic containment operation. There’s more at stake here than a bunch of tree huggers’ shady businesses. I think all of my colleagues will agree the bio-chem hazard issues clearly surpass both, your equipment and competences.
BOB THE SHOCK TROOPER: Yeah, step aside and let us do our job, we’re the professionals.
DOC: What Corporal Mulder was trying to articulate is that we are the right men in the right place while you are …well, far from being helpful. We are working for the common good you know, so how about we end this charades and do the right thing…
DOUG THE SHOCK TROOPER: (impatient) That is, deliver the patrient where IT belongs.

8 Likes
#5342

Meanwhile back on the ATAH set, the Construction Chaos Escalates as the main stage area begins to overflow in crazy Construx Blox creations… Hrm… Lets see… Some kids were arguing about whether they should build a dog or a cat, so it ended up as a dog and cat conjoined together… Oscar Mike is trying to build a life sized race car so he can actually drive it, a crazy couple are trying to build a life sized Loaderbot beside BAR Loader, who just stands there watching in amusement. More barefoot folks go down in pain, as the exit to the stage is now a foot destroying FIRE WALK of building blocks. As for Constructor Bot, its encouraging a Construx Blox Giant Robot fight between two egotistical kids…

IMMA DESTROY YOU STUPID FUNNY FACE! FIRING MAIN GUN! PEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEW!

The other kid doesn’t take no ■■■■ from this kid…

RAISING SHIELD. PREPARE YOUR STUPIDER FACE FOR THE HAMMERING!

The giant bots collide and shrapnel from said collision goes flying all over the place. Constructor Bot couldn’t be more proud, and the big bot keeps encouraging the battle

Yes. Prove Superiority. Fight until One Stands. I am Proud. Continue Combat. Destroy! DESTROY!

…

Constructor Show Best Show.

I am Dominant.

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#5343

BENEDICT:
WHERE THE HELL DO YA SEE A TREE AROUND HERE!?

BABS THE SHOCK TROOPER:
HOW IS IT THAT YOU COMPLETELY MISSED THE POINT OF WHAT MY COLLEAGUES WERE TRYING TO TELL YOU AND FOCUSED IN ON THAT!!!??

Benedict stops for a minute.

BENEDICT:
Because… I thought it’d be funny?

CAPTAIN HAKIMZADEH: (Over the comm)
Mr. Benedict… as much as we all appreciate your unique sense of humor, could you please get on with your mission?

BENEDICT:
That depends. Who here still thinks I’m specist!?

CAPTAIN HAKIMZADEH: (Over the comm)
MR. BENEDICT!!!

BENEDICT:
Alright, fine. That bag’s got a finisci in it. It’s probably Toby’s cousin. Biohazard or no, he comes with us.

BABS THE SHOCK TROOPER:
What makes you so sure he’s Tony? What about… HIM?

Benedict spins around and sees another scar covered finisci training… some kind of… rusty… harpoon… thing at the shock troopers, a wild look in his eye…

BENEDICT:
Aw s**t. Uh… sh*t…

8 Likes
#5344

Bill, Ted, and Ben spy on the Construction Chaos from a nearby window, unsure what to do. Bill and Ted are pretty much NOPEING, for two reasons. One, Constructor Bot. Two, how to clean up millions of toy building blocks. Ben on the other hand is slacking off a little bit, because with Tony being MIA, he kinda doesn’t give a ■■■■ with no boss looming over his back. Ben does wonder about one little thing though…

… I thought that Sentry was brought in was for security detail. It looks like it is an even match for the god damn Constructor Bot, so… Why isn’t it like, doing the security thing…?

Meanwhile on set, Constructor keeps on encouraging the madness that is Construction while flaunting it’s Dominance. With no Tony to shoo it away, Constructor thinks it owns the place now…

8 Likes
#5345

@krewlrain @kitryu

Wesley Filthman begins to grow slightly panicked as he watches three laughing, squealing children steadily erect a jagged, haphazard, multicoloured block structure all around him. There are no windows and the blocks have reached approximately the level of his neck. He could probably break it down through sheet physical force, but the kids are having such a good time and seem so proud of their creation

WESLEY: Uh…Constructor? Fix Sentry…? Little help…? Could one of you maybe lift me out of here?

5 Likes
#5346

Constructor is too busy babbling into the microphone again, declaring its Dominance and preaching the ways of Construction. Sadly, its in its own native language again, for when the big bot gets passionate, it forgets to speak in English.

The kids on the other hand, are overly happy to encase Wesley in the Block House. One of the kids begins to babble away

Silly Man in the Silly House for Silly People. Silly, Silly, Silly, the Silly House goes HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHHHER!

8 Likes
#5347

WESLEY: Uh…well…sh*t.

Wesley begins frantically stripping blocks off the top level of the structure and throwing them as far away from himself and the children as he can…

4 Likes
#5348

All the children stop building around Wesley and stare at him with giant beady eyes for a few seconds, before screaming and crying away. Wait a second… All but ONE of the kids went into tantrum mode, and this kid ain’t putting up with that ■■■■… She takes a massive stack of blocks and begins to smash it into the other kids heads.

SHUUUUUUUUUUUT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKK UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP STUPID YELLY YELLY YELL YELL BABIES. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

@system then pauses and wonders how the ■■■■ that giant ■■■■ got past its army of censoring blocks… Then decides to take ten likes away from everyone out of spite.

8 Likes
#5349

Wesley, while shocked by the sudden child on child violence, doesn’t want to die alone in a block tower and continues stripping and throwing the pieces

4 Likes
#5350

BENEDICT:
Ok… nobody shoot anybody until we get this sh*t figured out.

The conscious finisci throws the harpoon into Babs’ throat and screams… “I AM THE KING OF THE DOG TURDS!!!”

He runs off.

DOC:
Oh sh*t! HE’S THE ONE WITH HYPER-RABIES!!!

Another finisci bursts out from behind Gunny and attempts to bite his arm.

FEMALE FINISCI:
No I am!

As Gunny is dealing with that, the group is quickly surrounded by rabid, crazed finisci cannibals who immediately rush to attack.

BENEDICT:
AW F**K!!! I DON’T KNOW WHICH ONE TO SHOOT!!!

NOVA:
Well that’s not gonna stop me!

Nova immediately begins gunning down the hoard of finisci cannibals.

BENEDICT:
HOLD ON, WAIT, WHAT IF ONE OF 'EM’S TONY!!!???

BOB THE SHOCK TROOPER:
ENEMIES EVERYWHERE!

The shock troopers pick up their guns.

BENEDICT:
No no no! WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!

They begin firing indiscriminately into the hoard.

BOB THE SHOCK TROOPER:
ENEMIES EVERYWHERE!

DOUG THE SHOCK TROOPER:
Guys, guys… fire in controlled bursts!

Bob starts spinning around, spraying bullets everywhere. One of them hits Doc in the leg.

DOC:
OW YOU ASS!!! WATCH WHAT YOU’RE DOING!!!

DOUG THE SHOCK TROOPER:
CON-TROLLED BURAAAAAHHHHH!!!

Bob shoots Doug in the ass.

BOB THE SHOCK TROOPER:
ENEMIES EVERYWHERE!

Doug, grimacing in pain, rushes over to Bob, grabs his weapon, and rifle butts him in the groin.

DOUG THE SHOCK TROOPER:
STOP SHOUTING THE SAME F**KING THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND ACTUALLY TARGET THE ■■■■■■■■■■■■■ CANNIBALS!!!

Meanwhile, Benedict grabs the comm unit, crawls over to the unconscious finisci in the bag and begins slapping him, trying to get him to regain consciousness.

BENEDICT:
Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

A finisci dressed in all purple foaming at the beak dives for Benedict’s face.

CRAZED FINISCI:
YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE A TASTY KIPPER!!!

Benedict ducks, the crazed finisci instead flies right into Doug’s ass.

DOUG THE SHOCK TROOPER:
AHHH!!! MY ASS IS UNDER ATTACK!!!

Bob the Shock Trooper grabs a knife and attempts to plunge it into the crazed finisci. Instead he hits Doug’s ass.

BOB THE SHOCK TROOPER:
ENEMIES EVERYWHERE!!!

DOUG THE SHOCK TROOPER:
AHHH!!! YOU ■■■■■■■ F**KBAG!!!

BENEDICT:
■■■■, ■■■■, ■■■■… ok… you’d better be ■■■■■■■ Tony!

He screams into the radio.

BENEDICT:
TANNIS WE NEED EMERGENCY EVAC NOW!!!

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