Toby enters the Finisci’s quarters with a drawn, sulky expression. Pam peeks out of the kitchen and smiles at him, and he forces a smile back. Toby knows that he deserved what Pam made him do, and so he doesn’t complain. He just sits at their dining room table, picks up the Flipper-friendly utensils, and prepares to dig into the salmon tartar on his plate.
PAM (appearing at his shoulder):
That’s Tony’s seat, hon.
Toby jumps and then looks at the table. Only two plates are set.
Aren’t you going to eat?
Of course! You don’t think that i went through the trouble to make salmon tartar to not enjoy it myself, do you? That’s my plate over there.
Then where’s my food?
Pam points to a plastic bowl on the floor, labeled “Toby”. Toby explodes.
DAMN IT, PAM!! THAT’S ENOUGH!! IF YOU WANT TO TURN ME INTO YOUR PET, THEN GO AHEAD!! JUST KNOW THAT YOU’LL LOSE YOUR NESTMATE!!
But we haven’t even tested out-
She deepens her voice.
-The Mystery Button…!
I’M SERIOUS, PAM!! NO MORE!!
You’re right… It was wrong of me to force you to do things against your will, and i’m sorry. You just really upset me with what you said…
I know, a-and I’M sorry too. Look… If i let you try out the mystery button, can we call it quits on the collar for a bit…?
Toby assumes a thoughtful expression.
Other than to give me a massage, of course! Not the uncomfortable full-body one!
Pam hits the mystery button on the remote for Toby’s collar, and he dematerializes as his ETB activates.
What the hell…?
She looks down at the remote’s small screen and sees “Activating Tobi protocol. Check nearest ETB station…”.
PAM (eyes widening):
Tony walks around the set of the ATAH holoshow forlornly, reminiscing about the good old days when it was the biggest thing on holovision, and he it’s producer. Suddenly, he hears a feminine voice behind him…
UNKNOWN FEMALE (seductively):
Hey there, hawt stuff…
Tony spins around… And sees his cousin dressed in drag, with a polished beak and smoothed feathers, talons and beak covered in matching coral-pink talon polish and beakstick. On his neck sits the collar that Beatrix had recently sold to Pam- that’s the ONLY way for him to tell that it’s Toby -and in place of the gold-colored, fish-shaped pet tag is now a pink bejeweled one in the shape of a heart. On it reads:
Tobi Sardianus IV
Owned by Pamela Sardianus
Nova, room #14
The “i” in “Tobi” has a little heart-shaped gem set in place of the dot.
TOBI (winking playfully):
Care to keep a lonely girl company…?