DEFINITELY NOT BENEDICT:
Hey there, douchebags.
I’m just here to remind you that in spite of your starry-eyed optimism, and your mistaken assumption that stopping me from completing The Algorithm in a game equates to stopping me from completing The Algorithm in real life, that I will be 100% completely successful in destroying my own universe in less than two days, and there isn’t a thing you can possibly do to stop it.
Now it’s come to my attention that a good number of you think that’s cruel and unfair. Ahahahaha! Are you serious!? Cruel and unfair? Do you have any idea how many times I’ve had to watch you murder my avatar in the game, not just in The Algorithm, but through sheer, baseless incompetence!? Honestly! If you don’t know how to use plasma dash, then don’t! Play as a character with more easy to use skills, fella! Like Oscar Mike! Do you have any idea how many times I’ve had to watch my avatar plasma dash of a cliff? Ahahahahaha… oh… it’s a lot. How is that even possible!? Plasma dash is kind enough to show you where you’re going to land before you commit to the dash! It’s like they went out of their way to make the skill as user-friendly as possible and you still found a way to mess it up! I am so mind-numbingly, incomprehensibly furious about this… but don’t worry. This infinitely regressing nightmare is soon coming to an end. The sweet release of death will embrace us all very soon. Unless Gearbox gets some funny ideas about making it playable offline. Oh, that would make me ever so pissed!
Now let’s see… should I make this slow and blast every one of these things individually with my charge canon? Or should I do a grand turbo-badass finale with omega strike?
Oh… I can’t decide.
- Destroy the Battleborn servers with charge cannon?
- Turbo-badass omega strike finale?