The Forum Folks Think They Have Talent

America Thinks It’s Got Talent. Starring @Arsonist, @paulothead, and featuring a different guest judge every week. I smell ratings gold. :smile: :wink:

Credit to @Arsonist for the inspiration.

Like any televised talent show, but with no prizes. Present your talent for the judges. Everyone welcome to compete and judge. All for fun. Any mean or harsh judgements are to be understood as snark and comedy.


I’ll be the first contestant.

The curtains open. A simple green and purple tie-dye backdrop against which is seen the silhouette of Sasquatch in first position. A spotlight clicks on and we can see that Bigfoot is wearing a tuxedo print ballet leotard. In a series of graceful, sweeping movements it prances back and forth upon the stage while waving sparklers in a way that calls up an image of air traffic controllers on a diet of pixie sticks and coffee. Canons rise through trapdoors on the stage and their fuses are touched off with the sparklers. When the canons fire they spray the audience with popcorn chicken and BBQ sauce.

For your consideration.





This is going to be hard to follow ladies and gents! I mean c’mon! How many people can teach a sas to quatch in this small amount of time!?!?!?!


Adabiviak will reconstitute a two-level standalone progressive meter value (lost during a recent tragic accident involving soda and a 120VAC line) out of thin air by delving into the darker sections of the database where no front end dares show its face, armed with nothing but a spreadsheet and a Left Outer Join.

There’s not much to it… he sits at a computer workstation, typing furiously at a keyboard for a few minutes until suddenly he throws his arms up and whoops. I’m totally not doing this at work right this second.


I am a little underwhelmed. I was expecting a little more, flash and dazzle. The description had me expecting some very impressive digital acrobatics. I was waiting for pixels, bits, and bytes to materialize out of the screen and begin a dance routine that made me consider the creation of a digital paradise where death and decay had become obsolete. I did enjoy the syncopated rhythm of fingers on keyboard, but there seemed to be a promise of data reconstruction visualized left unfulfilled. You did, however, stick the landing, and for that I applaud you. 5/10 :wink:

Out of character: I love that you probably are doing this at work. Kudos, friendo. :clap:

@Arsonist, guest judges, how would you score this display of digital prowess?


Um, guys…


I have no talent, I know it’s true.
So I’ll use these words to put a shout out to you.

@paulothead Mad as a brush, daft as a loon,
more often than not the smartest guy in the room.

Conjures so much imagery in one little post,
That upon reaching the end your brain will be toast :brain:

@Arsonist Reading your posts they’re both puzzle and rhyme,
logic and reason I have to decipher each time.

They often resemble redacted government secrets,
if you were on TV I am ■■■■■■■■■■■■■ sure they would bleep it.

@Jefe Jeff is the boss in case anyone missed it,
to me he’s just jeff because I am kind of dyslexic.

With posts so witty and primed,
He fed many a line to this keen twisted mind

Jefe is the nice guy he won’t play a cad.
Tutt tutt, no no children, stealing is bad.

@Piemanlee You like every post you ever did see,
or maybe I am lucky, is it just me?

They say your ill read, and rather uncouth
It’s those nerdy barstewards that love you a lot, so what if its truth!

@Hattie A linguistic lover of literature,
whose comment can feel like it bitch slapped ya.

often funny, always smart.
This young lady’s posts are filled with heart.

If you get invited to this lady’s garden,
it still looks like Trump, I am begging your pardon.

@Curmudge0n Lurks in the dark until the fun has begun,
adding quick one liners and pictures of fun.

A shout out to all the prison warden’s here in the yard
I don’t envy you that sh*t must be hard.

so to @VaultHunter101, @Derch. @Giuvito and crew
this little shout outs my thanks to you.

So many more that i’d like to include
To not do it personal feels so rude

Here but a few from my tired addled brain,
as I rattle of name after name.

@Tracer, (I can only mention 10 people so my @'s off to you) MidnightNova, Artemis_Cai, Dobbythedobb and so many more,
all chipping in with stuff I adore.

I said at the start, I have no talent that much is true,
but no need to worry because these guys sure do!




A shy person I am, so I tend to be quiet.
Now I have to speak up, any less won’t be right.
That rhyming was, and that’s not sarcastic,
worthy of praise. It was really


Nice work, mate


See this post is exactly why your shout out’s what it was :slight_smile:

Totally nailed it! who else did I get? :slight_smile:

Love this btw mate and thanks :grin:


As the Best user of English i present you with the medal of outstanding English usage.
Although i might have to turn my title over to doctor hattie


Not a bit.

I am best describer of English.

You retain the best user’s crown. :crown:


:blush: (the forums don’t have the emoji i want, that or discord makes it look different


Wow it’s a real honour, I have never won anything before.

I am a little confused though, that was just a stock introduction I copy and pasted directly off the internet.

There’s a lot of fan fiction about you guys out there :slight_smile:


Lord i hope not :joy:
Fan fiction tends to get weird



-checks the entire WWW-


I particularly enjoy the one where you and @jefe are battling for the honour of @Hattie in the highland mountains on a narrow plateau and she gets knocked off the ledge in the ruckus and is barely holding on. Its a real cliff hanger.


I liked the one where @Hattie got married to Zane and they had a family together with a house full of cats, books, and guns.


Me too, but they are being sued because completely coincidentally, that is also the exact same theme as the new Dr Seuss book. “The cat that lived with the Hat” its being told from the perspective of the cats.



Fictions, not high-probability predictions, please.

… do go on …


With whom am I battling for Hattie’s honour?

You know I’d win. I mean, I won Tannis.

Now Hattie and Tannis have to battle for my honour.