I’ve had it!
STOP COMPARING THE SURRENDERING TEAMS TO THE FRENCH!!!
IT’S AN INSULT TO THE FRENCH!!!
The French people have a long, proud history that includes Napoleon, Joan of Arc, Lafayette, and Maurice Ravel!
Comparing surrendering teams to the French is an intolerable travesty AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT!!!
I am calling on Gearbox to counter this horrible anti-French stereotype with EVERY OTHER FRENCH STEREOTYPE!!!
I want taunts!
I want skins!
I want new voice recordings all dedicated to how BADASS THE FRENCH ARE!!!
I want Kleese dressed up as Jean-Luc Picard floating around the battlefield on the command chair from the Enterprise D!!!
I want Phoebe running around stabbing people dressed as Madame Defarge! AND THEN I WANT HER TO TAUNT THE SHISH KABOB BY SEWING HIS OR HER OR ITS NAME ONTO A HANDKERCHIEF AND BLOWING HER NOSE ON IT!!!
I want Oscar Mike dressed as one of those robot guys from Daft Punk!
And I want Toby in a little Napoleon outfit because he acts like a little Napoleon when someone moves his favorite seat out of the rec room. I’M SORRY THERE’S NOT ENOUGH SPACE WHEN WE ALL PACK IN THERE FOR MOVIE NIGHT, TOBY! I ALSO CAN’T HELP IT THAT THE LAVATORY IS CLOSER TO THE REC ROOM THAN THE STORAGE CLOSETS!!!
But back on topic…
Gearbox… we NEED French cosmetics. This is a NEED!!!
And players… we need to start showing our French pride now by SPAMMING THE MICS WITH THE LES MISÉRABLES SOUNDTRACK!!!
ALTERNATELY SUBSTITUTE MAURICE RAVEL… BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE BADASS THAN BOLÉRO!!! NOTHING!!!
VIVE LA RÉSISTANCE!!!