The Funny Thread -- What made you laugh today? Now with more jokes

Why make this? Because I think we need one. Seriously, we’ve got a thread for happiness, one for sadness, another for anger – but not one for LOLs specifically…I think?



Courtesy of @Arsonist.

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I’ll follow up with the only post I’ve given gold in reddit. It was from /r/nfl in a smack talk thread last year, when the Ravens were playing the Raiders.

If you don’t get it from context, then this fan is a raiders fan.

(Sidenote, it is tradition in /r/nfl that all posts in a smack-talk thread be in all caps, as to maximize burnage.)

YOU MAY HAVE HAD A ■■■■■■ MAYOR WITH TRUMPED UP AMBITIONS PLUNGE YOUR CITY INTO DARKNESS, BUT I WAS BORN INTO IT.

NO, SERIOUSLY, MY MOM WAS HALFWAY THROUGH A SIX-PACK SHE SMUGGLED IN UNDER MY DAD’S SPIKED PAULDRONS WHEN SHE WENT INTO LABOR.

IT WAS LATE OCTOBER IN 1978. DAN FOUTS HAD A ONE-YARD RUSHING TOUCHDOWN FOR THE CHARGERS THAT HAD JUST MADE THE GAME 20-14 IN THE THIRD QUARTER, AND MY DAD SAID THAT IF WE LEFT THE GAME WHILE THE RAIDERS WERE ONLY UP BY ONE SCORE I’D GROW UP TO BE A 49ERS FAN, AND SINCE THEY DIDN’T KNOW IF I WAS GOING TO BE A BOY OR GIRL THEY COULDN’T CHANCE IT.

SO I WAS BORN RIGHT THERE IN THE OAKLAND-ALAMEDA COLISEUM. THERE WAS PLENTY OF ALCOHOL TO SANITIZE MY DAD’S HANDS, AND BEING A TRUE RAIDERS FAN, OF COURSE HE HAD A KNIFE WITH HIM TO CUT THE CORD.

SO I’LL SEE YOU RATBIRDS SUNDAY AFTERNOON, A FEW MILES FROM WHERE I WAS BORN SCREAMING FOR MOTHER’S MILK, BAD BEER, AND RAIDERS TOUCHDOWNS.

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Had a doc’s appointment today, and my doc mentioned that she needed to draw blood…again. After listening to metal to settle myself, mentioning needles is The One Way to immediately counteract it.

Also, dunno how this picture worked its way into my mind, but given that there was mention of needles, it did make her chuckle:


“Nothing. The pavement was his enemy.”
– Julius Benedict, “Twins” (1988)

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Found this on a thread that was necro’d on Steam. So very true lol.

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The latest episode of Monster Factory, this time showcasing Saints Row: The Third.

No crime!!

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Watching the TYT and InfoWars crews fighting with each other. Comedy ■■■■■■■ gold.

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While browsing at random videos on YouTube, I found this one. I ended up seeing all their dead rising funny videos and all of them made ma laugh today.

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StoneMountain64: "Agh, I'm hit! (cough) I'm hit! Mayday, mayday, I am goin' down!" Teammates: (LOLing)"


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Saw some chick back her Malibu into her trash can while pulling out of the driveway. Some of it spilled on the sidewalk and she sat in her car for a good minute before driving off without doing anything about it. I don’t know if she was contemplating picking it up or having some form of a breakdown, but I was dying lol. I’m a terrible human being.

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Bad @Stoker… smhl.

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Probably my favorite patton oswalt bit.

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Just discovered Smosh :smiley:

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Billy West reading Trump quotes as Zapp Brannigan

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Infowars xD

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TYT is much worse if you ask me. But agreed lol. Same ■■■■, different toilet.

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I watch TYT occasionally; Info Wars never.

*Stoker withdraws from the conversation.

I’m Alex Jones and I sneaked into Bohemian Grove

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The laughs I might have had from the joke I’ll never hear will ring forever in my ears…