The Malak's bane by Some dude allen pOd

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I slaughtered a boss, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten loot
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a leggo toot,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my inventory box.
“’Tis some malak’s bane,” , “pressing at my drop weapon button—
Only this and nothing more.”

And i went on to slaughters and takedowns like a chore
And each separate dying leggo ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to borrow
Any other world drop for sorrow—sorrow for i wished to see malak’s bane nevermore

But even throwing it off the map into the abyss the Be damned lost machine has brought it to my door…
… And more corpses Show me malak’s bane… Again and again across time and space forever more.

Orange lights i can’t ignore… Into the sky off cliffs malaks bane shall soar

Towards new lands and dlcs loot i charge like a boar
In hopes i shall see malaks bane… Never more…

I look upon new worlds orange lights i see and adore…
I rush towards it like a frnzied boar…But then i see it once again… Forever sitting on the floor!

Malaks bane!

~flipper or fin…whatever

3 Likes

Fine prose for a true gem! They really should have changed the name to Vault hunters Bane to match the drop rate and usefulness…

Remember being way stoked to see one drop in Arms Race but quickly realized it even stunk there.

1 Like

Closest thing we have to a Dahl shotgun and it’s trash. Almost feels insulting.

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Please god let this turn into a thread. “Unending Magnificent” in the style of Ernest Hemmingway! “Long Musket” as a Norse edda! “Bearcat” in the manner of Chaucer.! “The Boring Gun” in three volumes of haiku!

1 Like

Laughing my anus offworld… They buffed it today i almost hurled…

Right after my nevermore quotes…

Its happens upon the patchnotes…

Id rather get the tediore blue homing smgs reloads.

Totally agree! Long list of blue or purple guns I would rather see drop. :confused: