The Most Badass Badasses in All of History

Here is a collection of most Badass People ever to walk the face of the planet. It was limited to just Doctors before, but i was having a hard time finding only badass doctors who would fit into this thread, it will also allow me to update it more often. This will be a really really really really really long post. So grab a bucket of popcorn and put on your reading glasses.

Benjamin Lewis Salomon (September 1, 1914 – July 7, 1944)


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Salomon was born in Milwaukee, Wisconsin on September 1, 1914. He was an Eagle Scout; one of nine who also were awarded the Medal of Honor.[3] He graduated from Shorewood High School and attended Marquette University and later the USC where he completed his undergraduate degree. He graduated from the USC Dental School in 1937 and began a dental practice.

In 1940, he was drafted into the U.S. Army and began his military service as an infantry private. In 1942, he was notified that he was to become an officer in the Army Dental Corps and was commissioned a First Lieutenant on August 14, 1942. In May 1943, he was serving as the regimental dental officer of the 105th Infantry Regiment, 27th Infantry Division. He was promoted to the rank of captain in 1944.[2]

In June 1944, Salomon saw his first combat—going ashore on Saipan with the 105th Infantry. With little dental work to do during active combat, Salomon volunteered to replace the 2nd Battalion’s surgeon who had been wounded. As the 2nd Battalion advanced, casualties were high. On July 7, Salomon’s aid station was set up about 50 yards behind the forward foxhole line. Fighting was heavy and the Japanese soon overran the perimeter and then the aid station. Salomon was able to fend off the enemy in the tent. Captain Salomon kicked the knife out of the hand of one, shot another, and bayoneted a third. Captain Salomon butted the fourth enemy soldier in the stomach and a wounded comrade then shot and killed the enemy soldier. Realizing the gravity of the situation, Captain Salomon ordered the wounded to make their way as best they could back to the regimental aid station, while he attempted to hold off the enemy until they were clear. Captain Salomon then grabbed a rifle from one of the wounded and rushed out of the tent and ordered the wounded to be evacuated while he stayed behind to cover their withdrawal.[2]

When an Army team returned to the site days later, Salomon’s body was found slumped over a machine gun, with the bodies of 98 enemy troops piled up in front of his position. His body had 76 bullet and many bayonet wounds, up to 24 of which may have been received while he was still alive.

Malcolm Coulthard


Paediatrician Malcolm Coulthard of Newcastle’s Royal Victoria Infirmary was facing a terrible problem: His patient, a baby named Millie, just a few weeks old, had been born with gastroschisis – a fun little condition in which the bowels of a person develop outside the body. And that wasn’t even the problem – surgery took care of that. However, complications from said surgery had caused little Millie’s kidneys to fail. Now, normally this wouldn’t be a problem for a well-equipped hospital – dialysis machines (which extract, cleanse and replace the patient’s blood) are pretty standard equipment, after all. But here’s the kicker: Millie was way too tiny for any of the hospital’s machines, even those specifically meant for small children. In other words, the equipment necessary for saving Millie’s life didn’t exist. Her life was draining away fast. There were no options left, nothing that could be done. Well, nothing normal men could do, anyway.

Coulthard excused himself and, some time later, returned with a strange looking, lumpy thing that looked like a battered parking meter that someone had equipped with a sticker that said DIALYSIS. The mother was understandably nervous about hooking Millie up to the contraption, which she described as looking like a clumsy DiY thing, made of metal, with splotches of dried paint on the side. And a DIY project it was. Coulthard, assisted by kidney head nurse Jean Crosier, had quickly MacGyvered up a mini dialysis machine for Millie … in his garage. From scratch. Using what parts they happened to have quick access to. In a matter of hours. And that little machine damn well saved little Millie’s life.

She recovered completely and is living a normal life thanks to the DiY prowess of Coulthard and Crosier, who have received international praise and awards for this unbelievable achievement. And the machine, cobbled together from scrap iron and spare parts, held together with chewing gum and hope? Why, it worked so well the hospital is still using it.

Henery Marsh


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Henry Marsh, a British neurosurgeon who travels to Eastern Europe on a regular basis, and just gravitates naturally towards potential brain surgery the way Batman gravitates towards criminals. One day, he found himself in a familiar, brain surgeony situation – a woman with a tumor that would kill her if not removed – only sans the equipment, since at the time, the Ukraine wasn’t too hot on state-of-the-art medical gear, and were going through more of a state-of-the-tool-shed phase.

We’d imagine this is the worst case scenario that flashes through a doctor’s minds when someone shouts, “is there a doctor in the building?” For Marsh, it just meant he had to improvise with what he had. He drilled through the woman’s skull and removed the tumor using only some local anesthetics and a $65 Bosch cordless drill he happened to have with him for some reason. When the battery went flat, he dug in with his hands.

All the while talking soothingly to the patient who, in case you’re not familiar with how local anesthesia works, was fully goddamn conscious throughout the operation. Apparently, Ukrainian women are hardcore.

Obviously we wouldn’t be telling you this story if the patient then just fell over dead. That wouldn’t be brain surgery, that would just be a crazy person committing cranial drillocide. No, Doc Marsh successfully removed the tumor, the patient lived and the operation was a success. Using the same tools you’d use to build a birdhouse.

Leonid Rogozov (March 14, 1934 - 21 September 2000)


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Surgeon Leonid Rogozov was a decorated Soviet hero, awarded with the Order of the Red Banner of Labour and all the toppings. But the reason for his status was peculiar: an inflamed peritoneum. Or rather, how he decided to deal with one in 1961.

At the time, he was stationed at the ■■■■■■■ of the world that is Novolazarevskaya Station, in the Antarctic. Dr. Rogozov (who also served as the station’s driver and meteorologist) developed a nasty peritonitis – which in layman’s terms meant he got a high fever; a crippling, nauseating stomach ache and an acute case of “gonna die real soon if someone doesn’t do something pretty freakin’ chop chop.”

Now, while the most common answer to the age old question “What happens if the team medic goes down?” is “Everyone’s screwed, that’s what,” Rogozov was determined to find a better solution. Namely, one that would let him live. Rogozov knew evacuation was not an option because of the constant snowstorms. He also knew no other member on his team could doctor worth damn. So, as a desperation move, he decided to cut himself open.

Feverish and nauseous, he proceeded to perform the appendectomy on himself. He could also only have localized anaesthesia, similar to what you might receive at the dentist, in order to be able to operate accurately. Or rather, as accurately as someone with a fever, acute pain and incessant bouts of vomiting can do anything.

Somehow, though, he managed to keep a steady hand and a calm demeanor. Other members of the expedition were present, watching in silent horror as their doctor cut away at his own intestines for two hours, finally managing to remove the appendix, sew himself up

Dominique Jean Larrey (July 8, 1766 – July 25, 1842)


With the exception of Playboy magazine and the helicopter, Larrey single-handedly created everything a wartime medic could need. Roughly one hundred percent of basic equipment and procedures of modern military medicine trace back to ■■■■ that was MacGyvered together by Larrey. When he thought they’d need a more efficient way for transporting the medics and the wounded, he commandeered a bunch of French artillery carriages and converted them, thus inventing the ambulance. When he decided he’d like some organization around him, he commandeered a bunch of men and invented medical troops. First efficient battlefield amputation and open-wound surgery techniques? Larrey. Equal treatment of all wounded soldiers? Larrey. Field hospitals? Oh yes, Larrey.

He wasn’t just some surgeon general shouting orders from the outskirts of the battlefield. Although he ranked fairly high in the chain of command, he was right there in the fray whenever he could be, personally performing emergency operations as cannons exploded around him.

He was no slouch, either: his personal best was an unimaginable 200 amputations in 24 hours. Unsurprisingly, soldiers loved the ■■■■ out of Larrey. He was treated as a hero wherever he went, to the point where weary and defeated French troops actually lifted him above their heads and crowd-surfed him during Napoleon’s retreat from Russia – just so that he’d be the first one to safety.

The notoriously self-obsessed Napoleon did not mind Larrey’s vast popularity one bit – in fact, he was the president of the Larrey Fan Club, with several remarks that the doctor was pretty much the worthiest guy he’d ever met. Larrey was, in fact, so revered that the Duke of Wellington – one of Napoleon’s bitterest enemies and a commander in the battle of Waterloo – gave specific orders to his men not to fire at that one French guy and his troops, because DAMN.

As a final Hollywood plot twist, someone disobeyed the order and Larrey sustained a gunshot wound. Ironically, he was left wounded on the battlefield until the opposing Prussians found and captured him. Bearing an enemy officer’s uniform, he was promptly sentenced to death – until the Prussian commander happened to pass by and immediately released him … because one of the enemy soldiers Larrey had treated just happened to be the commander’s son.

Dr. David Nott


To begin with, Nott is a vascular surgeon, a Doctors Without Borders volunteer, so right away you know this is not someone you want to go against in the “Most Accomplished” category at the high school reunion. After all, anyone who specializes in performing surgeries in war zones is going to have some stories to tell. It’s not until you hear the stories, one after the other, that you appreciate what the guy is doing for a living.

He has an uncanny ability to stumble upon one medical Die Hard after another, constantly ending up in situations where he always seems to be going against the grain and fighting a hopeless, one-man battle to save the day … and you can bet your ass the clock’s ticking.

Nott has found himself in the middle of Congo jungle, performing a life-saving emergency amputation on a boy who had been either bitten by a hippopotamus or caught in some rebel crossfire. No one was really sure which. Whatever the case, it wasn’t just a simple amputation. Part of the boy’s collarbone and shoulder blade needed to be removed, and he was going to lose a ■■■■ ton of blood during the procedure. This was an operation so rare and complex that only about 10 people a year have it in England. And Nott had never performed one.

He winged it, receiving hurried instructions from a colleague via text messages. And succeeded.

But to really appreciate Dr. David Nott, you have to hear the story of Landina Seignon, Haiti’s “Miracle Baby.” And if you’re in for the long haul, you probably ought to grab some tissues.

About two weeks before the 2010 Haiti earthquake, a Haitian mother of four left her kids alone while she went out to buy some candles. They lived in one of the worst slums in Port-au-Prince, and the family didn’t have electricity, so it wasn’t like she was just trying to buy some scented ambiance for the home. Sadly, the house caught on fire and the three older children fled, leaving 6-week-old Landina alone in the burning home. She didn’t die, but she didn’t come out of the fire in good shape, either. So before the earthquake hit, Baby Landina was getting treatment for her severe burns at La Trinite Hospital in Port-au-Prince. After the earthquake hit, she sat in the rubble, burns and all, unnoticed for two days.

And here’s where the miracle comes in. Dr. Nott was on the ground in Haiti, helping with disaster relief, performing something like 12 operations a day, when Landina’s case was brought to his attention. No one knew who her family was, or if they were even alive. But Nott knew that she had a very specific skull injury that was going to require years of intensive care, with equipment and professionals that weren’t going to be found in Haiti.

But it turns out that taking a severely injured, unclaimed child out of a disaster-stricken country is harder than you’d think:

“The official asked for Landina’s birth certificate, which of course I didn’t have. Nor could I say who her parents were or even whether they were alive. He told me to get out. I refused. I showed him a picture of Landina on my camera and said that her flight was leaving in a couple of hours and that she would die if she wasn’t on it. A policeman was summoned but I clung to the arms of my chair.”

Eventually, he not only got Landina to London, but he also founded a charity that would provide for her medical expenses, as well as a caregiver that would tend to her very, very sensitive wounds on her skull.

Ok, so Dr. Nott saves Landina’s life and finds her a potential new family. Here’s where things got tricky. A journalist who had been working alongside Nott all along did some investigative work to find Landina’s family … and voila. There they were. Marie Miracle and her children were still living in the slum, completely unaware that Landina was alive and getting treatment in London. Eventually the mother, the baby and the doctor are brought together …

And a very specific charity is created that will provide Landina’s whole family with a clean apartment and private schooling, and a Haitian doctor will donate his time and resources to helping Landina heal.

Nikola Tesla {He’s my 1st place in badassness.} (July 10, 1856 - January 7, 1943)i


Tesla is probably going to be a tough on to beat in this thread.

Nikola Tesla was born around midnight, between July 9 and July 10, 1856 during a fierce lightning storm. According to family legend, midway through the birth, the midwife wrung her hands and declared the lightning a bad omen.

Of course, much like many other eccentric giga-geniuses and diabolical masterminds, Tesla was also completely insane. He was prone to nervous breakdowns, claimed to receive weird visions in the middle of the night, spoke to pigeons, and occasionally thought he was receiving electromagnetic signals from extraterrestrials on Mars. He was also obsessive-compulsive and hated round objects, human hair, jewelry, and anything that wasn’t divisible by three. He was also asexual and celibate for his entire life. Basically, Nikola Tesla was the ultimate mad scientist, which is seriously awesome.

Another sweet thing about Tesla is that he conducted the sort of crazy experiments that generally result in hordes of angry villagers breaking down the door to your lab with torches and pitchforks. One time, while he was working on magnetic resonance, he discovered the resonant frequency of the Earth and caused an earthquake so powerful that it almost obliterated the 5th Avenue New York building that housed his Frankenstein Castle of a laboratory. Stuff was flying off the walls, the drywall was breaking apart, the cops were coming after him, and Tesla had to smash his device with a sledge hammer to keep it from demolishing an entire city block. Later, he boasted that he could have built a device powerful enough to split the Earth in two. Nobody dared him to prove it.

Tesla also ordered the construction of the Wardenclyffe Tesla Tower, a giant building that would have housed the largest Tesla coil ever built. The massive structure, ostensibly designed to wirelessly transmit power, has been cited as a potential cause of the mysterious 1908 Tunguska Event – a ten-megaton blast that detonated in the wastelands above central Russia that completely obliterated and deforested everything unlucky enough to be located within a several hundred mile radius. While nothing has ever successfully proven Tesla’s involvement in the ass-destroyingly huge explosion, it’s pretty awesome that this guy could potentially have detonated a weapon 1,000 times more powerful than the nuclear bomb that destroyed Hiroshima, and have done it back before they’d even invented the submachine gun.

His weapon, known as the “Teleforce Beam”, allegedly shot ball lightning at 60 million volts, liquefying its targets with enough power to vaporize steel, and, while it could shoot further than 200 miles, its effectiveness beyond that range was limited only by the curvature of the Earth. Luckily for all humans, this crazy insanity never came to fruition – most of the schematics and plans existed only in Tesla’s head, and when he died of heart failure in 1943, little hard data on the project existed. Still, J. Edgar Hoover and the FBI confiscated all his personal stuff and locked it away anyways, just to be safe.

Rukhsana Kausar


In 2009, the 18 year old Rukhsana Kausar saw her parents being beat because of part of a forced marriage proposal by a militia commander, she killed on militant with an axe, gunned the commander down, then started a gun battle with the militia that lasted for 4 hours.

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Well um, here’s an article of doctors who have performed surgeries on themselves.

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Thanks for the link. Updated the OP with one of them for now.

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@itsTwister

I was waiting for somebody to post this. But who knows, maybe you will find one of them interesting

I’m loving this so far! keep it up!

Updated the OP some. It is going to take time and some digging to get more info on doctors. I have seen some VERY HORRIFYING things in the search for doctors.

That moment when you come in expecting a topic all about Doctor Who…

Im going to expand this to other people than just Dr.s because im have a hard time finding only doctors on the internet. It will also let me also update this thread more often

Well if we’re just doing general badasses, then this is a short contest. There can be only two.

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Nikola Tesla is the real badass genius in this thread, and will probably be #1 for a while. Especialy with that “Teleforce Beam” and the earthquake machine.

/Thread. There’s no topping Tesla and his cool-ass coil things.

I feel like this belong here…
http://www.badassoftheweek.com

Mike Tyson is the baddest man on the planet