So our dear friend Toby @HandsomeCam has a secret that he wishes to stay a secret. If he really wants the secret to stay a secret, then he must do something humiliating for my own entertainment.
Here is your assignment Toby. I want a 300 minimum word essay on EXACTLY why you are cute.
Other requirements.
Must call yourself adorable at least once.
May not use over 30 curse words.
You have 24 hours to complete this from the time of this posting.
Good luck 
THAT’S NOT FAIR!!
(Whining) I’m not cu-u-ute…! PLEASE don’t make me do this!
grabs popcorn
I’m not making you do anything. You can simply choose to ignore this, and continue on with your life. If you want everyone to know the secret that is 
Also I decided on a 300 word minimum. 100 is just not long enough. 
Umm… Can i at least use more curse words then…?
Ok fine. No more then 30 
Thank you… 
I HATE YOU!! I just realized that i can’t use ANY curse words if i don’t want to get banned! 
Benny is NEVER going to let me live this down! DO YOU KNOW THAT?! Everytime that i say i’m not cute from now on, he’s just going to link my essay!
Sighs.
I’ll get started later, so just… Just leave me alone for now…
May I also have some popcorn? I’ve brought the soda. Who has the camera ready for when Toby reads his essay aloud? Do we have a mic?
Nova please record this so no matter what Toby might do to this thread or his essay we will always have proof of this soon to be magical moment.
I am qualified and willing to grade this essay. With maximum sass.
You’re hired!
YOU ALL JUST MADE MY “TO KILL” LIST!!
…
@EdenSophia, no snarky comment about how you were already on it, and that i’ve yet to cross you off of it yet!
Your “to kill list” is about as convincing as Mell’s new year resolution to quit drinking
Well don’t kill me too soon, wouldn’t want you to miss out on more art.
My name is Toby… And i’m adorable. There; i said it… I ADMIT it… There really isn’t a way for me to spread that over three hundred words, so i thought i’d talk about why i hate being CALLED cute and adorable instead… I hope that’s okay, @AncientBelgareth…
Even by Finisci standards, i’m considered childishly cute, and it’s caused me more grief- more PAIN -then i both can or WANT to describe in a few hundred words… It started with my birth, obviously; during which my mother died, leaving my father to care for me alone. I’m pretty sure he hated me for that, and the fact that i had a perpetual blush probably didn’t help. Maybe hate is a strong word; i’m not really sure that a parent CAN hate their child… But he was ashamed of me, and there was never any doubt of that…
I don’t think that i need to go into detail about how things went for me at school, acceptance-wise. I mean, my TEACHERS liked me because i was a good student, and the other Finisci kids thought i was a suck-up; but the truth was that i clung to my teachers for protection… I got my ass beat nearly every day on my way home from both grade school and high school, and i went home to a father who was probably happy to see it; who probably wished he had done it himself sometimes… I tried to hide my blush with white makeup in high school, and it worked for a time; but then the kids who knew me from grade school eventually spread the word, and i soon found myself getting beaten for being a makeup-wearing sissy too…
When Menneck-B got darkened, i thought it would be a fresh start for me, and i elected to join the UPR to make a new name for myself. I was 26, i had a genius-level intelligence in engineering, and there was no WAY they were going to say no to THAT, right? Well, not if you’re cute, apparently… Not only did i get rejected for combat, the recruiter humiliated me; i’ll admit that it broke me. I found myself getting more angry- more VIOLENT! -and i liked it! I swore that no one else would ever mock my appearance uncontested again! Of course, that wasn’t entirely realistic… I mean… I HAVE killed over it, and i’m sure that i’ll kill over it again; but sometimes there are instances when there is absolutely NOTHING i can do about it but get mad… Get mad to mask my shame… These forums are one of those instances where i am powerless to do anything when someone mocks my appearance; and unfortunately, some people seem to know it, and apparently take pride in being able to hurt me without consequence…
I’ll get by though, i suppose; because it’s all i’ve ever known… I’m 42 years old, and i look like an adorable child… Just try and remember that there’s 42 years of pain behind this face the next time you mock it, please; that’s all i ask…
I-I’m sorry if it’s over or under the 300 word limit, because it hurt too much to check… I’m sorry…
Oh c’mon. Given all the embarrassin’ sh*t I’ve done over the years?
How bad could it be?
Nope. Bored. Browsin’ for porn now.
Still think yer overreactin’.
Ya can’t have possibly done anything THAT embarassin’…
I’m way more interested in this wrong darker than death or night ya did than I am in hearin’ ya say yer cute.
That was not what I was expecting. That wasn’t funny at all. 
