Neither is being called cute by you guys…
ISIC:
Well i thought it was ■■■■■■■ hysterical! Ahahahaha!
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See that wasn’t so bad Toby. Nobody laughed. And now your secret is eternally safe!
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Yeah… It was… THANKS FOR FORCING ME TO DRAG MY PAST PAIN INTO THE LIGHT, ASSH*LE!!
Yeah… At least there’s that. Thank you. Maybe now i can be HAPPY for a change…
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Or you were sharing your past pain with the people that love you (and Benedict) to grow from it, and let it go. Think of it as forced therapy!
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I-I mean… I suppose i DO feel a little better now that it’s off of my chest… It was like living with a rotting, festering THING inside of you, you know?
Thanks, i guess…
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One does one’s best at being a terrible therapist to the saviors of the last star.
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I kinda want to kill someone named “John Lennon” now, but you did alright!
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Toby’s original UPR recruiter shows up and, after reading Toby’s essay, straight up GUFFAWS. He pinches Toby’s cheek and pats him condescendingly on the head before he speaks
UPR RECRUITER / ASHOLE:* That was TOO FUNNY, little buddy! This would have the troops in the Med Bay in STITCHES! Er…bad choice of words! Anyways, Billy, this was a great effort and we could STILL use your cute, adorable looks and funny words to cheer up the injured troops! Whaddya say, Billy?
( @handsomecam )
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Thinks back to what he wrote:
Smiles maliciously.
Sure! Just, uh… Let me go get Berg…
(We all know how this ends… Mwuhahahaha!)
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No amount of therapy will ever help Toby not kill this guy. I’ll be taking bets on how many times he screams “mommy” before he dies. Any takers?
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Cam?! How you been?!
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He won’t even get through it once. It’s hard to say anything when you’ve exploded into tiny bits.
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Ok! Any competing bets people? Tick tock. The death of this guy grows near!! This is a once in a lifetime bet! Will Toby decrease him before he can utter a Mommy?! Or will he draw it out to get lots of screams from him!? The end is nigh! Anyone interested needs to make bets soon!
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(Eh… About as well as one can be when they’ve been hijacked by a f*cking penguin…)
KEEP IT UP, AND I’LL START LOOKING UP FINISCI PORN AND MAKE YOU LIKE IT!!
(Dear LORD… Uh, i retract my comment!)
THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT!!
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Well good luck buddy!
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Blackmailin’ Toby over his secrets into shamin’ himself ? Sir, you’re like the most despicable, cruel and malevolent person I ever heard of.
rubs his feathers for a second, thinking
Why didn’ I come up with that idea?
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