Toby, the Insecure Finisci: A Rudolph Parody

(Penguin connoisseur.) #1

It took me over two years to realize it, but there are no Battleborn Christmas parody songs! Well, that I know of, anyway… This is unacceptable, and so I give you “Toby, the Insecure Finisci”.

:notes:You know Aurox and Pendles!:notes:
:notes:Orendi and Whiskey!:notes:
:notes:Shayne has her own line,:notes:
:notes:’Cause she threatened to kill me!:notes:

:notes:But do you recaaaaaaaall,:notes:
:notes:the most badass Rogue of them all?:notes:

:notes:Toby, the insecure Finisci!:notes:
:notes:Had a very poor temper!:notes:
:notes:And if you said he looked cute!:notes:
:notes:He’d murdalize your face with Berg!:notes:

:notes:All of the other factions!:notes:
:notes:Used to laugh behind his back!:notes:
:notes:Toby introduced them to Berg!:notes:
:notes:Then Reyna saw he had a knack!:notes:

:notes:She said: "Toby with your mech so strong,:notes:
:notes:will you lead my raid?:notes:
:notes:Use your Berg to kill these fools,:notes:
:notes:and then we’ll all get paid!":notes:

:notes:Now all the factions know that,:notes:
:notes:if they ever call him cute!:notes:
:notes:Toby will say he’s sorry!:notes:
:notes:After taking all their corpse’s loot!:notes:

If any of you would like to make your own Christmas parody songs, feel free to post them here! Finally, I hope you all have a merry Christmas, 2018!

(^Image created by Dxstrxyer, on Tumblr)

(The One-Armed Bandit) #2

By the gods.

What have you created.

(Penguin connoisseur.) #3

The future of Christmas songs regarding animals that overcome adversity. Why sing about a reindeer with a physical abnormality, when you can sing about a penguin with a death machine?

Children everywhere will sing Toby’s story with love and adoration! Or they will be destroyed…

(Benedict's Glorious Wingspan) #4

So lemme get this straight…
Yer gonna murder children if they don’t sing yer name with love an’ praise an’ adoration.
The sighest sigh.
G****mmit Toby.

Ain’t seen much about this “Christmas” I like. Gonna stick with my hymns of the Great Eagle. Speakin’ of which, I need an electric guitar and a sick ass death metal drummer. S’cuse me.

(Brute 912) #6

Bro, I was just thinking of that yesterday. :joy: