the camera pans to Ernest, reclining by the huge window on NOVA’s Observation Deck in a comfy-ass deck chair with a tall, frosty beer in one claw-hand and Betsy (his trusty grenade launcher / lifelong battle companion) in the other, a sun visor perched just beneath his spiky head crest feathers
ERNEST: NOOOO-VA! Pull up my itinerary for the upcomin’ week!
NOVA: Item 1: Try to avoid becoming “First Blood” as often in your combat simulations against the other Battleborn.
ERNEST: NOVA! Keep yer voice down, would ya? under his breath Check…
NOVA: Item 2: Fashion portable, unfolding, reclining chair apparatus for your Power Egg Thrower. Must include beer cooler and cup holder.
ERNEST glancing down at hastily drawn sketches on a cocktail napkin on the deck floor beside him : Check!
NOVA: Item 3: Recline in aforementioned chair apparatus while slowing wave after wave of Minions, Thralls, and fellow Battleborn while unloading “Betsy” down range.
ERNEST lovingly stroking Betsy : Check and DOUBLE check!
NOVA: Item 4: Remove Space Easter paint job from Power Egg and replace it with “badass flames and skulls”.
ERNEST: Gotta requisition some paint from that cheapskate Ghalt…
NOVA: Item 5: Remind Benedict and Toby to stop leaving empty kipper tins and pistachio shells all over the Firing Range.
ERNEST muttering angrily : Those lazy, unkempt, sacks off gullsh*t! If this were still the UPR, they’d be scrubbin’ space latrines with their own tail feathers for MONTHS! No good sonsabitches…
NOVA: Item 6: Polish Betsy lovingly thrice daily!
ERNEST: Done, done and DONE!
NOVA: End of itinerary. Will there be anything else Ernest?
Ernest is already deeply asleep on the deck chair, snoring loudly, the remains of his beer spilled onto the floor beside him, cradling Betsy as if it were his child. NOVA sends out a bot to gently place a blanket over Ernest and clean up his spilled beverage
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