My unreads are totally out of control right now 
ā¦which reminds me of THIS:
Nothing has been done. Dammit, fuel to my fireā¦ 
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I miss my ex so ā ā ā ā ā ā ā much and I hate how I ā ā ā ā ā ā everything up and I can never be with her again. I just want to be with her and Iāll never get to do that again because Iām a complete moron and didnāt treat her the way she deserved to be treated
Also, this may seem weird to you guys, but I know theyāll see this so I want to talk to them.
Iām sorry, I really am. I shouldāve treated you properly, and I didnāt, and Iām sorry. Nothing I can say will make it up to you, but I wish I could. And I would like to say this: you got your wish. Iām dying, my liver is ā ā ā ā ā ā and idk how long I have. And you wonāt have to feel guilty, because it wasnāt suicide and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. So there, hopefully youāre happy
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So I was going to save this for my journal but Iām on here now so, whatever. It doesnāt matter, Iāll probably post something later. Yāall know the trouble Iām in as I do most of your troubles fellow forum members. 2017 has taken more than itās given. Itās hard for me to even type this much less say it. After a pretty productive day and Iāve been thinking about it all day despite what happened today, it doesnāt matter. Iāve decided to put my dog, Mad Moxxi or just Moxx or like @KrewlraiN has affectionately named him Mr. Eyebrows, I really like that one by the wayā¦ Iāve decided to put him to sleep. Not today but soon probably next week.
Heās just in so much pain and nothing seems to be helping him and all he wants to do is be near me. All he wants to do, doesnāt matter if there is a chair or console (from vehicle) in the way, heāll crawl, slither over it just to be near me. I canāt let me my baby boy, my best ā ā ā ā ā ā ā friend suffer. He was born June 22nd, 2011 so heās six years of age, short life for a rat terrier but a pained one. I rescued him from some abusers and heās been by my side ever faithful since he was just a giant head and a tiny body. Iād assume heās always had back issues because of his former owners but theyāve just got to a fine point where heās panting, crying even when heās lying down. I donāt want to be cruel for him, he is my solid rock, heās my baby butā¦ I just want someone to tell me itās a dumb idea, that Iāve already sacrificed a lot (ie: with my daughter)
Iāll make his last week comfortable until then heāll be right here by my side as alwaysā¦
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Iām really sorry to hear about that friend - itās a really tough decision and awful to let go of our pets. Even though itās in their best interest at the end itās not easy. Stay strong 
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Itās heartbreaking to read this. Specially after finding out Moxx isnāt much older now compared to when we had to put Spike to sleep. My condolences.
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Iām sorry to hear that. 
Iāve lost enough pets to swear off having another one. If heās beyond help, itād be for the best to make sure he doesnāt suffer anymore, as hard as that may be.
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Pets are part of the family and letting them go can be a dagger to the heart. The extreme amount of pain we go through when we have to say goodbye to them just canāt be put into words.
My heart goes out to you and Moxx.
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Iām sorry
-hugs-
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Poor fella. He knows he loves you. Iāll poor one out for you and mister eyebrows.
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And thatās not all I wanted to write for that entry. Not even the main thing bugging me which is sad. Iāve pmād one person, kind of frantic but I got low last night. Ah well, time for said work.
Sighā¦ there goes my good mood. Noticed the cat is having issues peeing again. I buy him expensive food to stop crystals and he had a stupid expensive surgery tooā¦ Ugh what is it this timeā¦ If its crystals lets just say Iām gonna be SUPER pissed. I have to wait until tomorrow morning to get him looked at, he should be ok for tonightā¦ If this cat wasnāt unique I may of put him down long agoā¦
This better not turn into super sad pet month ><; Already heartbroken that daerksiea has to make that hard choice, one that I all know too well with owning exotic pets over the years and cant affordā¦
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Will the cat eat raw? 70%+ of stitchās diet was mice, rats, rabbits and squirrels if he caught them. He only ate dry food if he was stuck inside during the storms or healing from one of his endless fights. He was an hardass, fighter, alpha ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā . And he was fixed. I once saw him run off a pit. He limped his ass inside, but by god that pit took off like a bat out of hell. Didnāt know who he was ā ā ā ā ā ā with. God damn i miss that cat.
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This week is turning ā ā ā ā -tastic fast.
-Cat has a bladder infection, happy its minor, yet I had to throw the vet bill onto the credit card, and that will take 3-4 paychecks to pay off as I will have to crunch my low income pennies to avoid dipping into my precious savingsā¦
-Momās fighting with step dad hardcore over something her mental health has wound up to a dumb level, thanks to her paranoia of this guy that step dad has been helping out. Both of them have faulted here, I understand moms ānot paranoiaā side and step dads side, yet both are too stubborn that āthey are in the right and the other is wrongā Thankful brother is back this week, asked him if he can spare some time to hang out with her becaaaauseā¦
-I gotta cover for an injured coworker so I have no time to hang with mom, because i really REALLY need the damn money for the visa card. She even had a fall-fair ticket for me because I had Sunday offā¦
Just gotta keep that chin up, this stuff is stupid minor then whats going on in the world today.
Iād rather not talk about it.
Iām only upset with myself.
Depressionās been getting me down. Hard to know what to do about it.
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My ex (gf, not kiddo mom) confessed to me this morning sheās been using intravenous cocaine this past week.
Jeezā¦hope something constructive can be done.