Benedict CAN fly.
Benedict DOES fly.
Benedict just got back from a major FLYING mission.
G****MMIT I AM A FULLY FLIGHT CAPABLE AVIANT!!! FULLY FLIGHT CAPABLE!!! THERE AIN’T NOTHING A NORMAL AVIANT CAN DO THAT I CAN’T DO. I JUST NEED LITTLE BREATHERS, OK??? IT’S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL!!!
OH FOR F**KS SAKES!!!
Takes phone to Nova’s holochamber, or holoroom, or holodeck, or whatever. The f*cking hologram room… and activates a beautiful beach.
Let me SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU…
T is for “takeoff…”
Benedict lifts off from the ground.
A is for “air…”
Benedict motions around himself in midair.
W is for “wings…”
Benedict motions towards his wings.
D is for “definition.”
Benedict realizes he left his phone on the ground, silently swears, lands and types the following definition into a search engine. He then takes off again.
R is for “reading.” As in… THE VERY FIRST DEFINITION. “Moving or able to move through the air WITH WINGS.”
Benedict proceeds to “move through the air with wings.”
Y is for “your epiphany.” When you realize… oh hey!!! BENEDICT IS DOING THE VERY DEFINITION OF FLYING!!! WOW!!! AMAZING!!!
So… as you can clearly see… Benedict… is a… FULLY… FLIGHT CAPABLE… AVIANT!!!
STILL FLYING BABY!!!
He performs a taunting trick in mid-air.
ENOUGH OF THIS BENEDICT CAN’T FLY CRAP!!! I WIL---------
Benedict hits the simulation room wall head first and falls to the floor.
NOVA:
My bad. There should have been an image of a cliffside there. How clumsy of me. Here, let me put it in now.
A cliff magically appears in front of Benedict.
NOVA:
There you go. Now with the visual representation, you’ll remember that you’re flying around in a confined space and not on an actual beach. Of course, anyone who wasn’t a moron would have figured that out without the visual representation, by simply taking note of where the walls were when he activated the simulation.
BENEDICT:
Nova… you are such a b***h sometimes.
A giant troll face appears on the cliff.
