When you step into a minion's shoes

Today I 've had of one of the most bizzare experiences I have ever had in a video game. It was about me stepping into the shoes of a minion and seeing how it feels to go against an ultrahuman opponent that the game developers have specifically designed so that he won’t ever die. It was pretty surreal and I felt the need to share it with you.

The said hero was eqquiped with a weapon and a shield and a vast variety of skills and talents. His primary way of dispatching the waves that were sent againt him, including me of course on the vanguard, was moving his giant melee weapon in front of him and hitting us. Every swing would cost us dearly, since, especially during the beginning of the mission, we could die with 5 or 6 swings. Every time he would kill us, we would respawn and rejoin the rest of the minions in our futile quest to stop him and please our tyrranical master. A few of us had the tenacity to try to run away from him thinking they mught survive the onslaught, but he would then just hurl his weapon at those poor souls and kill them almost instantly, hitting them for hundreds of AoE damage each time his weapon hit the ground.

The fight was not going so well, so we decided to flank him and kill. The rest of the Heroes in his squad were more… killable, so our Minion-Masters thought that by killing him we could more eaily turn the tables. Although we were minions, we knew that, if a Hero has very good damage, his defenses would suffer. Imagine our surprise, when the Hero raised his shield and blocked well over two thousand damage (2000). From then on, when the Hero felt threatened, he would raise his shield, deploy an overshield, stun us, run, dash, all the while dealing massive amounts of damage to us. His strong connection to Mother Earth also gave him the amazing power of regeneration. Even if we broke his shield, 4 seconds later would once again be up and running. He could regenerate his health in a mere span of 30 seconds. Whatsmore, every time he killed one of us, lowly minions, he would somehow Rage, which made him even more difficult to kill, even faster and allowed him to deal even higher amounts of damage!

High Damage, High survivability, access to a stun, overshield, shield, dash, regeneration and enrage was too much for us minions to keep trying.

I for one, the little Minion Bot #248565, have decided that this life is not for me. I am going to join my old lieutenant, Geoff. I heard he managed to become a spider.

I’ve had the chance of being on the other end of such an experience. I was assigned the simple task of getting some erotic novels involving Sentries to the librarian Chronicle, recently. While at first it was scary - fire, fire everywhere ! And lots of weird-looking guys intent on hugging us or something - I was relieved to see the very same ultrahuman guy you describe running along us punching the weird huggers in the face. No idea why he’d feel the need to show his… Back from times to times though.

However it was a bit boring after a while. I mean, I just delivered what I was supposed to deliver and waited 'til it was finished.

I talked with Chronicle, he seemed pretty upset about the current situation too. Told me how his cousin Geoff got to be a spider. Maybe it was the same Geoff you’re talking about ? Weird, how small this universe can be.

Yes, I believe we are talking about the same Geoff, aka Arachnis the Spider King.

And although I do appreciate the novelty and I highly encourage it in this thread, I also need to make sure my point has gone across:

■■■■■■■ NERF BOLDUR.

1 Like

I used to be a minion like you, until I took an arrow to the knee joint, I then promptly joined the rogues to avoid the LLC’s recycling machine, (I’ve heard it hurts, a lot.) I’m Reyna’s PR guy, now.


It had :wink: Well for me at least.

1 Like