Which UPR Battleborn deserves a promotion and why?

For the purposes of this discussion, I have eliminated Ernest.
Not because I have anythin’ against Ernest, except those G****MN 4 AM TRAININ’ SESSIONS!!! REALLY??? REALLY??? GREAT EAGLE, MAN!!!
ahem
I digress…
Naw… it’s because he’s a model f**kin’ soldier and everybody knows he deserves a promotion and everyone’ll vote for his flightless feathered ass.
And I want a real discussion. Probably…

So who… ASIDE FROM ERNEST… do you think deserves a promotion?
Ghalt? Does he deserve to be better than captain?
Oscar Mike?
Galilea?
Montana?
Me? (I don’t wanna be in charge…)

Cast yer votes in the poll below and feel free to discuss.
AND REMEMBER YA CAN’T VOTE FOR F**KIN’ ERNEST!!!
Cuz I eliminated that option.
His ego’s big enough as it is…

Receives text.

3:45 AM??? ARE YOU F**KIN’ KIDDIN’ ME???

  • Galilea Azmozeus
  • August Benedict
  • Trevor Ghalt
  • Oscar Mike
  • Montana

0 voters

2 Likes

Hey Benny, since I am not very good with all the ranks and stuff… Is there a posibility you can tell noobs like me which rank all these fine UPR peeps have?(Fine peeps, except for one obviously)

Toby

2 Likes

Gali

1 Like

Ghalt. He pulls everyone together.

6 Likes

Phoebe:
My apologies Benedict, but Ghalt manages to be a great leader in these dire times. Which is why my vote falls upon him.

1 Like

Yeah, one of helixes pull several enemies in :wink:

1 Like

The easiest ranks to find are Capt. Trevor Ghalt and Sgt. Ernest Igrin. Sgt. Montana doesn’t have any mention of his rank in his own lore but, in Benedict’s “Rocket Jump Professional” lore, Montana is mentioned as a Sergeant (Montana’s lore says “Highest Rank attained during the Ekkuni Repulsion Raids (y.19936), refused further subsequent promotions”; that’s 3 years after he first joined up and 22 years prior to the game starting).

Afaik, there isn’t any lore indicating Bene or OM’s ranks and Galilea wasn’t even a member of the UPR before she joined the Battleborn (she had exiled herself on Bliss, which is the UPR “planet”, even though it’s actually a moon and was recruited by Ghalt ~2.5 months after he deserted the UPR to form the BB; Gal probably wears UPR armor because it was what could be salvaged during her exile and is only in the UPR faction because she’s too ashamed to try and be Eldrid).

If I was to venture a guess concerning OM and Bene’s ranks, I’d say that they’re probably also Sergeants based purely off of their experience (OM was in for 17 years and Bene was in for 15).

Something important to consider is that none of the UPR characters are actually part of the UPR any more. The Marketplace descriptions for the UPR loot packs specifically mentions that you can get taunts/skins for “Battleborn gone AWOL from the UPR” and Ghalt’s “Social Engineering” lore specifically mentions his desertion (and how the upper echelons of the UPR brass have decided to covertly support him rather than hunt him down).

As such, saying that any of the UPR BB deserve a promotion is kind of irrelevant because none of them belong to an organization with ranks any more and, even if they did, I’m pretty sure that all of them have been offered promotions beyond their current rank and turned it down because they’re so awesome that they’re already at the highest rank that allows them to continue doing what they do best.

6 Likes

Whiskey Foxtrot rubs his head in discomfort, and takes a swig of his moonshine

Whiskey Foxtrot: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhh, just THINKING about any of you yahoos in charge of all that ammo scares the hell out of me.

Whiskey inhales and exhales deeply, calming himself for the ■■■■ show he was now imagining

Whiskey Foxtrot: Knowing Mike, he’d probably do something stupid and require all munitions to be stored in box fort formation.

Have you ever tried to find a specific kind of ammo after Mike sorted it? It’s f*cking impossible!

As for Montana, he’d probably make you all hug each other instead of salute. And the guy’s cool, but no one wants be near his tree trunk arms when he wants a hug. 'Course, he might do it anyway, but he can’t fire you if you refuse.

Benedict, we both know you’d be an awful leader, you’re almost as bad as I am with planning. In fact, I STILL have nightmares about the Solus Day Sack Race you put together!

Galilea’s a fcking psychopath, and that’s coming from ME. I stabbed Pendles over a rodeo clown, and she scares the sht outta me.

Put her in charge of training the noobs in boot camp, and see if anyone steps outta line after she murders the first guy.

Whiskey Shudders at the thought

Whiskey Foxtrot: Honestly, you’d all suck at leading, and that INCLUDES Ernest. The guy doesn’t have a charismatic bone in his body.

Fck it, make Ghalt in charge of everything UPR. He’s the only UPR Captain I’ve got any respect for, he gets sht DONE. Without the condescending tude.

10 Likes

Promote Galilea to GOD. seriously, she’s borderline Deity right now. lol

1 Like

“Toby.”

Toby would rather that everyone on the UPR die, if i had to guess. Being rejected for “cuteness” would do that to almost anyone.

4 Likes

Yeah, and everyone would die. And then Reyna would be defacto leader. And Toby would be lieutenant. So promotion. Yay

2 Likes

Sounds legit.

2 Likes

I also voted for Ghalt.

4 Likes

I know that they aren’t officially UPR anymore but for the sake of this topic I ignored that. Thanks for the info on the UPR dudes and dudette. Honestly, since Monty turned it down I’m not voting on him and I wouldn’t want to give Mike(too much idiot) or Benny(too much ego) nor Gally(too much bs) a promotion. So Ghalt it is!

1 Like

[quote=“deemsss123, post:15, topic:1553918, full:true”]So Ghalt it is!
[/quote]

Ghalt turned down any further promotions as well.

1 Like

Ernest: Hell, who needs one anyway? I do my best talkin’ with 'nades, not words.

3 Likes

Well… THEN… Then I vote…
■■■■ it all, I’ll vote for Miko. :mushroom:

2 Likes

I was going to post something like this, but you had to go and do it for me. Thanks! :dukeaffirmative: That’s not being sarcastic, by the way; you saved me from having to think very deeply.

Anyway, in the spirit of the thread, I’d go with Ghalt seeing as how he’s the one in charge as it were. He may not lead all of the various factions, but he does do most of the organizing and is the one who pops up in most of the away missions to tell the other BB what needs to be done.

2 Likes

I just looked at the thread, and holy sh*t you guys!

If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought you were writing the story for future dlc!

2 Likes